Page 155 of The One I Hate
Bug: Absolutely not.
Simon: Why do I feel like you’re kicking me out?
Bug: Are you at the course yet?
Simon: We’re about to pull in.
Bug: Well then you’re about to find out why you can’t come home. Have a fun day Daddy =)
As soon as I look up from my phone, I see nothing but pink and white streamers and balloons waving in the air attached to golf carts.
“What the hell...”
I exit Shane’s truck and walk over to the decorated golf carts. Now, my friends and I have a guilty pleasure of decorating for special occasions. Wes’s divorce. When Oliver ended up married. Shane and Amelia’s first engagement.
And apparently now Baby Bug’s expected birth.
“Welcome to your Baby Stag!”
I laugh as Oliver comes over, handing me a box of cigars and a brand-new sleeve of my favorite golf balls. “Baby Stag?”
“You heard us right,” Wes says as the rest of the group gathers around. Of course Wes, Oliver, and Shane are here. Emmett is standing in the back next to Amelia’s son, Luke, who’snext to Connor. My dad’s here. Hell, they even invited Stella’s fiancé Duncan, who I really don’t like, but hey, apparently it’s a party. “We know showers are traditionally for women.”
“But we also know that you’re Simon Banks and that a celebration is definitely needed for the fact that you’re going to be become a father,” Oliver says.
“So welcome to your Baby Stag party. Eighteen holes of golf followed by Beers, Brews, and Diapers Too at The Joint.”
“Guys…wow,” I say, speechless. “Thanks, but I’m not sure. Charlie is…”
“A few weeks away from labor?” Shane interrupts. “Yes. We know this, which is why Amelia, a trained and talented—not to mention beautiful—nurse is staying with Charlie all day in case something happens.”
“Okay,” I say, excited, but also weirdly guilty. “But we shouldn’t drink too much. In case I need to get back.”
“That’s why I’m here,” Luke says. “I’m your designated driver for the night. I’m your personal Uber.”
I start to open my mouth again, but not before my dad steps forward. “Son. I’ve taught you a lot of things over the years. Most of them you’ve done. But there is one important lesson that you need to know now that you’re about to become a father.”
“What’s that?”
“When the mother of your child kicks you out of the house and tells you to go golfing, you get the hell out of the house and go golfing.”
I laugh as Oliver hands me a beer. “If you say so.”
Everyone grabs a beer except Luke, who is seventeen and clearly the most responsible one of us today, before my dad makes the rest of his speech. “To Simon. Most days you think everything is about you. Today it is. And for good reason. You are about to be blessed with a little girl who is going to change your life. And we couldn’t be more happy for you. Salut!”
“Salut!”
We all take a swig of our beers before loading into the overly decorated golf carts. As we drive to the first tee, I hurry and grab my phone.
Simon: Thank you. I love you.
Bug: I love you too. Have a fun day. You deserve it, Daddy.
I smile as Oliver drives the cart down the path. The April sun is beaming down, and the breeze is just enough to make the air not hot. It’s the perfect day for golf.
And honestly, it’s just a perfect day.
I’m with my boys. And I’m in such a good mood I’ll even call Duncan one of my boys even though I think he’s a douche and not good enough for Stella.
