Page 83 of The One I Hate
A broke, single mom who just took the biggest leap of faith in her life and now is questioning every decision I’ve made over the last month.
A broke, single mom who is carrying a baby by a man who probably hates her.
An about-to-be mom who really misses her mom right now.
Because I don’t know what to do. And my mom would. She’d know exactly what to do.
And all I can think to do right now is cry.
“Hey,” Mellie says, joining me on the cool tile that I just slid down to. “I know you’re scared.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
“And you don’t have to make any decisions today.”
I nod, though I already know that I’m keeping it. I always wanted to be a mom. I just thought since I was thirty-six and had no prospects and couldn’t afford to do it on my own, that it wasn’t in the cards for me.
But here it is. Just not exactly as planned.
“There’s no decision to make. I’m keeping it.”
“Okay, then,” she says. “Can I ask?”
“It’s Simon’s.”
“Oh. When you…”
I nod. “Yup. This baby was literally conceived because of hate and tequila.”
“It will be quite a story when it makes its way to the world. And I was there to make it happen. Oh! Aunt Mellie. I love it. Can I buy the first baby apron? I already know the Etsy store.”
I laugh and sit back, letting my head rest against the wall. “Mellie? What am I going to do?”
She takes my hand in hers and gives it a squeeze. “What you always do. Survive. Make shit happen. Be the badass you are. And know that this little person is going to have the best mama in the world.”
And now I’m crying again. “I don’t know about that. I didn’t even realize I was pregnant.”
“But you do now. And you’re already making the plan in your head. Which is how I know this baby is going to be the best surprise of your life.”
That’s one way to look at it. The other part is, holy shit, what am I doing, can I do this? I mean, I have to. I want to. And I will. Even if I have to do this alone.
Oh God, what am I going to tell Simon? How am I going to tell Simon? How is he going to react? The man is a bachelor to his core. Always has been, and I’m guessing since I haven’t seen him with anyone since I’ve moved here, always will be. All of his friends have settled down. I’m guessing if he wanted that in his life, he would’ve already done it by now.
Then I stop and think about when I saw him at the wedding with the little girl who I’ve since found out is his goddaughter. The way he interacted with her made me look at Simon in a whole new light.
Is that the kind of dad he’d be? I know he can be frustrating and aggravating, but I know that’s just part of him. I might have hated him for the better part of two decades, but I remember the man I got to know. The man I’ve started to see more recently. The man who pulled Billy off me. The man who sent workers to the restaurant every day.
The man who’s about to be my baby’s father.
“I have to tell Simon,” I say. “I can’t let this wait.”
“Agreed,” Mellie says. “You can do it on his daily drop-in. Is he still doing those?”
I shake my head. “I doubt it. We… had a fight on Saturday. He didn’t come by at all yesterday.”
“Oh,” she says. “I’m sure it was a coincidence.”
“It wasn’t. And I don’t know when, or if, he’ll come back.”
