Page 120 of The One I Love
I reach for her hands, which she gives me. Thank God. “Only for you.”
I lead her back to the front porch steps, making sure to sit her down exactly how we were all those years ago.
“First, I need to apologize,” I begin. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just…I thought it would fix things. I figured we were headed there, so why not? All I could think about was that talk we had on the beach. That we both wanted to one day be husband and wife. Never did I put together what it would make you feel like. Or how it could give you flashbacks. I’m so, so sorry.”
She nods. “Thank you. And I know deep down you meant it from a good place.”
“I did. I promise you I did.”
“That brings me to my apology,” she says. “I’m sorry I made us go through all these hoops. We wouldn’t have been here if I wouldn’t have been so hell bent on this being a secret.”
“I know you needed to say that, so thank you. But in reality, I have a feeling even if we had told everyone right away there still would have been a shit storm. Just a different kind.
“Agree,” she says. “Speaking of shit storms, I told our mothers. And I finally told my mother how she made me feel seventeen years ago when she all but forced me to get married.”
“Fuck,” I groan. “How did it go?”
“About as you imagine. Depending on how this goesbetween us, they are demanding a family dinner tomorrow. And every Sunday for the next year.”
“That’s fair.”
I take a breath, because I know what I need to say next. And I need to make sure I say it all.
“Do you remember the night on this porch?”
She smiles. “We were just two young, dumb, and frightened kids.”
“We really were.”
“Do you remember what you asked me that night?”
She nods and rests her head on my shoulder. “I asked you if you were scared.”
“You did. I was scared I’d never see you again. I knew there was a good chance I was going to get sent overseas. I knew if I did, I might not come back. I couldn’t imagine a world where I left Rolling Hills not knowing what it was like to kiss you.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Really?” This is new.
She sits back up, but takes my hand in hers, lacing our fingers together before clasping it with her other. “Yeah. One, it was a great kiss. Two, I got the satisfaction of knowing I’d kissed you and Emily never did.”
We both share a laugh, and I kiss the top of her head. “I was scared that night. Scared to leave. But even worse, when I kissed you, I was scared you’d push me away. That because of one impulsive move, I’d lose my best friend.”
I stand up in front of her, keeping our hands joined. “Amelia, I stand here today scared again. I’m scared I messed this up. I’m scared we’re over before things even began. I’m scared that I got to taste what forever was going to be like, and I ruined it. So, just like then, I’m going to do something maybe a little reckless, and maybe a little unexpected.”
I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
“Amelia Evans. Will you do me the honor of not marrying me?”
“Shane—wait, what did you say?”
I chuckle because I can only imagine what that sounded like. “Amelia, I thought about what you said, that we weren’t ready. And we aren’t. If we’re ready to take a step forward, it should be moving in together. Or getting a dog.”
“A dog?”
“Yeah, a dog. But not a small dog. Cocker spaniel or bigger.”
“Mariah has always wanted a Goldendoodle.”
