Page 106 of The One I Love
So here I am, in a bridal suite, crying in a robe, because this is supposed to be a happy and joyous day, and all I want to do is sneak out of the back door and go hide where no one can find me.
“Amelia?”
I try to quickly wipe my tears away as I hear a knock on the door.
“Can we come in?”
“Yeah.”
Whitley and Betsy ease into the room and take seats on either side of me.
“You okay? We came to check on you but I don’t know howlong Kendra can distract the Monsters of the Bride and Groom.”
I look over to Whitley, and as much as I want to keep it together, I can’t. “No.”
I fall into her arms, the tears no match for me. She wraps me up and lets me cry as Betsy softly rubs my back.
“You need to tell them.”
I nod and lift my head, but the tears are still coming. “I know. I just thought…I don’t know what I thought. Every idea I’ve had has gone to shit. I don’t know why I keep trying.”
“Hey,” Betsy says as she hands me a tissue. “Cut yourself some slack. No one could have seen this insanity coming.”
I shake my head. “I did. Yet somehow I convinced myself I could cut it off. Control it like I want to control everything. Not only did I not stop it, it’s morphed into a beast I don’t think anyone can contain.”
“That’s why you need to tell them now,” Whitley says. “Will they be upset? Probably. But at least this stops and you two can go back to normal.”
I laugh. “I wish it was that simple.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I didn’t want to tell Betsy and Whitley this, but I need to get it off my chest. “Shane wants to go through with it.”
Neither of them say anything. I look to each of them, and they both have stunned looks on their faces.
“Shane wants to go through with what?” Betsy asks. “Because the only right answer in this situation is telling your mothers that you aren’t engaged.”
“No. He thinks we should get married.”
A mixture of “oh my” and “What the actual fuck” are the reactions. Which tracks. Because I’ve said all of that since he suggested it.
It’s all I’ve been able to think about since those words cameout of this mouth. He said to forget it, but I know it’s been weighing on him as well. Things have been…tense…since that day. I know we’re both trying to ignore the elephant in the room, but it’s starting to get to us. He still comes over. He eats dinner with us and has stayed the night a few times. But I can feel the tension. I think we’ve had sex twice, and both times he felt distant. I probably did too. Even the kids have noticed he hasn’t been around as much. Luke asked at dinner last night if everything was okay, and of course I said things were fine.
They are anything but fine.
“What did you say?”
“I said no.”
“Good,” Whitley says. “What would make him ask you that?”
I shrug. “I mean, we talked about it before all hell broke loose. But it was more hypothetical. At least, I thought it was.”
“Do you want to marry him?”
I nod. “Yes. Someday. Not now. Not like this.”
“Not forced.”
