Page 3 of The One I Love
“My mom. His mom. He’s mentioned it a few times.”
Married? She can’t marry that fucking jackass. “What do you want?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know if it matters what I want.”
“The fuck it doesn’t,” I say, turning her slightly so we’re facing each other. “Amelia, this is your baby. Your body. Your life. Is marrying Paul what you want to do with it?”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Like what? I’m asking a legitimate question. Do you want to marry him?”
She looks up at me with sad eyes. “I don’t know what I want.”
I take a deep breath, doing my best to calm myself for her. “I know the baby took you by surprise.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“But that doesn’t mean you have to get married. Hell, look at Oliver’s mom. She raised him alone.”
“She adopted him when she was in her thirties. Very different.”
“I’m just saying, don’t marry him because you feel like you have to. If you want to marry him, do it because you love him. Not because of pressure.”
I hate that I suggested an avenue for her to marry him, but as a friend, that’s what she needed to hear. Oh God, what if they do get married? Maybe that will be one of the positives of me being away—I won’t have to be here for it. Or have to decide whether I’m going to stand up in the service and object. But I wouldn’t. I’d never stand in her way like that. And I’d never rock the boat. She’s my best friend. A sister to the guys in our group. Our mothers are basically connected at the hip. It would rock so many boats.
“Let’s change the subject,” she says. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah,” I say with a shrug. “I’m packed. We can’t take much.”
“I’m not talking about that. Are you ready?”
I knew what she meant, but I was trying to deflect. “Can I admit something?”
“Of course.”
“I’m scared,” I whisper. I can barely admit it to Amelia, let alone some eavesdropping asshole. “I’m fucking scared.”
It’s weird I never thought about fighting in combat when I decided to enlist. But the country’s at war. I don’t know where I’m going to end up, but it’s possible I’ll be shipped overseas.
“That’s normal,” Amelia says. “I think I’d be more worried about you if you weren’t scared.”
“What if I don’t come back?”
The words fall out of my mouth, though I never meant to say them. It’s been the one thing on my mind as the day has come closer and closer.
“What do you mean if you don’t come back? You’re coming back.”
“You don’t know that, Amelia.” I stand up and begin to pace. “I don’t know where I’m going to end up. Those videos and calls you say you’re going to make—I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get them. What if something happens? What if this is the last time I see you? What if this is the last time I tell Simon to fuck off? What if I never see Wes play a down of football again? What if I’m not here to talk Oliver off the ledge on his wedding day? I’m scared, Amelia. I’m so fucking scared.”
I take a deep breath to push the tears back when I see Amelia running over and jumping into my arms. I don’t hesitate to catch her as we wrap each other in a hug so tight I don’t know if either of us can breathe.
“You’re going to come back. You hear me? Because this baby needs its Uncle Shane.Ineed you, Shane. You’re not allowed to leave me. I refuse to believe this is the last time we see each other. So you go off and be a hero, then come back and live a very quiet life in Rolling Hills, where the biggest fight you’ll have to be a part of is when Simon and Oliver can’t decide what to order for breakfast. You got it?”
I huff out a chuckle. “Got it.”
We slowly loosen our grip, which allows Amelia to slide down my body. I see tears running down her cheeks, so I take my thumbs and push them away. God, I’m going to miss her. I’m going to miss her smile. Her brown eyes that have alwaysbrought me peace. The way she busts my balls to keep me honest. Her laugh. The way she always knows what to say. I’m going to miss her so damn much.
I know I’m not supposed to think like this, but what if thisisthe last time I see her? What if something does happen, and I never tell her how I feel? What if I die and not do the one thing I’ve wanted to do since I can remember?
