Page 16 of The One I Love
“But those are the only possible outcomes as far as I’m concerned.”
“Okay, let’s role play. But not the fun kind with maid uniforms,” Kendra says. “Let’s pretend, for just the sake of argument, Shane asks you out on a date. You go. You have a good time. You kiss again. Maybe you break that dry spell you’ve been in for way too long. Those all seem pretty good to me. So, please, tell me all the things that could go wrong.”
I laugh. “Where do I begin? First off, he’s my friend. Mybestfriend.”
“I take offense to that best friend claim.”
“You’re my work wife. It’s different. This is the man who knows every secret of mine. We’ve been through every phase of life together. He was the first person I told when I was pregnant with Luke. I told him before Paul. He saw me at my lowest during the divorce. Hell, he’s the reason I was able to leave him. He’s my person. How do you date your person?”
“Easy. You remember he’s hot and fuck him every chance you get.”
“You’re not helping.”
“Sorry. Continue.”
“And it’s not just our friendship I have to worry about, it’s the whole group. If we date, or worse, if we break up, Shane and I together would shake up everything. It would throw off the whole dynamic.”
“I’m guessing that this friend group is made up of adults that would, after explaining to them what is happening, adjust.”
I let out a sigh. “You’d think that. But Oliver will want us to get married immediately. Wes doesn’t do well with change, so that will screw with him. And Simon will be Simon, and I don’t need any more of that than I already get.”
“Okay,” Kendra says. “But my point is that they will adjust. They are grown-ass men.”
“One would think.”
“Fair enough. They are men. But again, what’s the big deal? So they freak out a little? It won’t be like that forever.”
“It’s not just them,” I continue. “It’s about our families. Our mothers are best friends. They took pictures of us together as Mickey and Minnie Mouse on Halloween when we were two. They’ve been trying to push us together for years. They will be insufferable if this happens. And speaking of families, there’s obviously my kids to consider. You know, the kids who call him Uncle Shane…that’s a whole other thing.”
Kendra gives me a questioning look. “Are they still hoping you and their dad will get back together?”
I shake my head. “Hell no. I think they were more excited than I was the day we left. They knew how unhappy I was. And he’s not exactly father of the year.”
“Then if they value your happiness, and I’m guessing like Shane, then why would you two dating be a bad thing?”
“Because—” I pause, now realizing I’ve never told Kendra this. “I haven’t been in a serious relationship, orwitha man, since the divorce.”
Kendra rapidly blinks about a hundred times. “Excuse me, what?”
I nod, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “You heard me.”
“Amelia, you got divorced seven years ago.”
“I know.”
I downplayed the sex part to Whitley and Betsy yesterday and just focused on my lack of dating. Which is true. I have tried. Nothing has stuck. And maybe it’s my age, or because I haven’t had it in forever, but the more you don’t have sex, the less you miss it. On the other side of the coin, it’s terrifying if you want to ever have it again and realize that you haven’t done it in so long you might forget how.
“So you’re telling me, in the span of three presidents you’ve had zero sex?”
“Thanks for putting it in that context, Kendra. I really appreciate that.”
“Girl…” Kendra shakes her head and wheels around the nurse’s station. “I can’t imagine.”
I shrug. “You stop missing it after a while.”
Kendra suddenly wheels herself next to me, completely invading my personal space. “But…”
“But what?”
