Page 84 of The One I Need
Hazel and Jules each grab their dishes and wave to Oliver as they exit my office.
“Thanks, ladies! I appreciate the kind words!”
“Don’t encourage them,” I say.
Oliver smiles as he hands me my California rolls. “Well I’m not going to stop them from saying those very nice things about me. That would just be silly.”
“Speaking of silly. What the hell is that shirt? And I’m really going to need to know when you purchased that.”
“What? This old thing?” Oliver says, playing dumb as he looks at the shirt then back at me.
“Drop the innocent act. It doesn’t go well with your complexion.”
Oliver sends me one of his devilish smiles as we take a seat on my couch. “It’s actually a gift from Simon. He wanted me to tell you that he found a matching shirt for you, but didn’t know your size.”
“How nice of him. Make sure you tell him my size is whatever works best for him to shove it up his ass.”
“Will do.” Oliver laughs as he lays out all the sushi options he picked up. “Lunch is served.”
“I wasn’t expecting this,” I say as I take one of the rolls. “I thought you weren’t coming down until after I got off work?”
“Can’t a guy want to surprise his wife?”
I raise an eyebrow, wondering what he’s up to. I’ve also realized that I don’t even flinch anymore when he uses the word “wife.”
“He can. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be suspicious.”
“Fine. I was bored.”
“Bored?”
“Yes, bored,” he says. “We had football practice this morning, but Wes and Betsy were leaving for their vacation right after, so he was gone. Shane was working. Simon’s out of town. Amelia had something with her kids. So that means you get me early!”
“So I was your last choice?” I tease, though I do my best to keep my voice level.
Oliver leans in. We were already close, but right now I feel like he’s overtaking every one of my senses.
“You’re never my last choice. And don’t you ever forget that.”
Oliver doesn’t pull away. In fact, he might inch a little closer. Our mouths are inches away from touching. I feel my breathing pick up the longer we stay like this. It’s like I can’t move. Without even touching him, I can feel his lips against mine. I can feel my fingers in his hair as his hands wrap around my waist, bringing me to his lap.
What would that be like? Taking a minute in the work day to share an intimate moment with your partner? To show how thankful you are to them when they surprise you with your favorite sushi? To close the blinds, blocking the outside work out, and have a little extra fun that no one could see?
I could do it. I’m the only one stopping this. Yet every time I think maybe I could do this, something in my brain pops up that says this is only good because it’s not for real. If this was real, it wouldn’t be this easy. It wouldn’t be this good.
Because love doesn’t feel good. Love hurts, love sucks, and most of all, it breaks you down to where you don’t feel like you’ll ever get back up.
“Are you going to get that?”
“Huh?” I say to Oliver, because I honestly have no idea what he’s talking about.
He tilts his head back to my desk. “Your phone. It’s been vibrating for the past two minutes.”
“Oh.” I sit up and give myself a shake as I walk to my desk. When I pick up my phone, I realize it’s the last person in the world I expect to be calling me right now.
“Mom?”
I fall into my seat as I hear my mother’s voice on the other end of the phone for the first time in sixteen years. I didn’t even know she had my number. Before I can grasp what is happening, Oliver is on his knees, holding my free hand with the most concerned look I’ve ever seen in my life.
