Page 56 of The One I Need
“Can I ask you a question you’re going to hate?”
I let out a humorless laugh. “Even if I say no it won’t stop you.”
“You’re right. But I have to know, whynotOliver? Because, as someone who has made her career on love and relationships, I don’t think you’d do better than him.”
“You know why.”
“Seriously?” she says. “Why, after all this time? Why are you still holding on to this notion that love isn’t for you?”
“Because it’s not,” I say firmly.
“Bullshit.”
I turn my head to her. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. It’s bullshit. It’s a line you’ve said for so long that you believe it.”
“Because it’s true.”
“It’s not.” She stops and grabs my hands, turning me toward her. “I’ve known you for more than a decade, and I’ve always respected your privacy. I’ve never pushed on why you hate this notion about love or who hurt you to get you to this place. But I know it was a long time ago. You, Izzy McCall, are an amazing person. You deserve to be loved. And you might not know it, but you have love to give.”
Hazel stops for a second and motions over to Oliver. “That man over there? You might not see it, but he looks at you like you’re the only one in the room. Every time you spoke at dinner tonight, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. He memorized every word you said. And the way you look at him? You don’t realize it, and maybe I’m the only one who does see it, but you look at him in a way I’ve never seen before. That has to mean something.”
“Yes, it means he’s my friend.”
She shakes her head. “No. He’s more than a friend. And one day you’re going to realize that. I just hope that day isn’t when he’s found someone who wants what you were too scared to give him.”
Hazel walks away, leaving me standing in the middle of the casino floor staring at Oliver. Sweet, handsome, sexy, too-good-to-be-true Oliver.
She’s right. He would be the one. He’d be the one to help me finally forget the past. He’d be the one that could help me erase the pain I’ve been carrying for sixteen years. He’d be the best boyfriend. He’s going to be the best husband and father. If I had to pick anyone, it would be Oliver a hundred times over and again on Sunday.
But he deserves more than a broken woman who has forgotten how to love. He deserves more than a woman who can’t give back even a fraction of what he gives. So I’ll take his friendship. I’ll take moments that will never amount to anything. Like he said before, friendship is better than nothing.
“Hey,” he says, wrapping me in his arms. “You okay?”
I hug him back, needing this contact more than he could ever know. “Yeah. Just tired. I think I’m going to go back to the room. ”
He backs away but doesn’t take his hands off my arms. “Okay, let’s go.”
I shake my head. “No. You stay. Have fun. Gamble. Plus, you wanted to see the fountains. Don’t let me ruin your night.”
“I can see the fountains tomorrow,” he says, taking my hand. “If you’re going to the room. I’m going to the room.”
“But—”
He puts his fingers to my lips. “But nothing. I do have one request, though. I’m going to need ice cream.”
I smile as he lowers his fingers. “Ice cream sounds good.”
“Then let’s go get some ice cream.”
He puts his arm around my shoulders nonchalantly, but I take a little more, leaning my head on his shoulder.
This. I’m getting used to this. I’m starting to need this in my life more than anything. Yes, I might have to fight back the urge and temptation from time to time. But I can do that. Because I’m not about to let this friendship be ruined by bringing love into the picture.
Because love ruins everything.
Chapter19
