Page 117 of The One I Need
Well now I feel even more like shit. I’m not out there risking my life. I’m just a sad sap who misses his wife.
“Was I stupid to think that we could survive this?” I ask. “Because I thought this was going to be easy. Well, not easy. But I thought we could make it easy. Turns out, this is hard as fuck.”
“I don’t know,” he says, sitting back in the recliner. “I mean, two months doesn’t seem like that long of a time when you’re hopeful. And maybe it would be different if you weren't playing the most epic game of phone tag I’ve ever witnessed. So I can see why you thought you could navigate the waters. But in reality, that’s a long ass time, especially when you two were just getting going.”
He’s right. We had just gotten on the same page. Things were great. We were happy. Yes, we were still getting our bearings, but we knew it would come. I loved her and she loved me, and that should have been enough.
Then Edwin and his son fucked everything up. I think I now hate him more than Matt the ex, and that’s saying something.
“I love her,” I say. “I love her and I miss her, and I’m fucking miserable without her.”
I let the emotion pour out of me, tears and all. Fuck it. I’m not too proud. I’ve cried in front of Shane before. Granted, that time was because I thought my world was over because the first girl I ever proposed to said no.
Those tears were from a kid who thought he knew what he wanted. These ones are from the man I’ve become who knows more than ever what he wants with his life.
“How much longer is she out there?”
I wipe the stray years away and take a sip of my beer before answering. “We’ve hit the two month mark. The launch is tomorrow.”
“That’s good. Light at the end of the tunnel.”
I shake my head. “No. The launch wasn’t nearly as ready as they were led to believe it was, so they haven’t even started to try and find a replacement for Izzy to run London. Until that happens, she's across the pond.”
“Fuck…”
“I’ll second that.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I truly think about how much time there’s still left on this. No way is she coming home anytime soon. Not without a miracle. And I feel like I used up all my miracles when it comes to Izzy.
Unless I create my own miracle…
A thought hits me out of nowhere, but it sounds crazy, even in my head. I don’t know if I can say it out loud, but man, it sounds good…
“What would you do?” I ask Shane, seeing if he’s going to even come close to saying what I’m thinking. “If you were in my shoes, what would you do?”
“You want to know what I would do?”
“Yes.”
“Shouldn’t this be something you ask Wes about?”
“No,” I say. “Wes used to be the practical friend. He still is, but now he’s in love and that would cloud his judgment. I want to know what you would do.”
In all the years I’ve known Shane, he’s never even hinted at dating a woman. He’s never brought one around or introduced us to one. I’m sure he does his thing when he needs to, but like most things about his life, he keeps it to himself as much as possible. So yes, I want to know what he would do.
“I’d go be with her.”
Good thing I’m sitting down. I wasn’t expecting that direct of an answer.
“Really?”
Shane sets his beer down on the coffee table and rests his elbows on his knees. “Listen, love isn’t something you can find everywhere. And even when you do find it, shit tends to get in the way. It’s never easy. Sometimes the timing is off, sometimes the person is with someone else, or maybe you are. Maybe it’s like you and the location is the hard part. Some things you can’t control. But some you can. Location? That’s one. You can change that. You can be with her. You could book a flight right now and be in London tomorrow. Maybe she says she wants to come home, or maybe she says she wants to stay. Then guess what, you stay. They have teachers in London. So as far as I see it, the answer is easy. But I guess the question is, would you go?”
I don’t even have to think. “In a heartbeat.”
“Do it. I know what it’s like to live with regret and thinking that it just wasn’t the time. I know that pain when you don't act on things you could have controlled then have to sit back and watch the things you couldn’t change. Don’t live with regret, Oliver. There’s not a worse feeling than knowing you let the one you want get away.”
“Damn,” I say, standing up from the couch. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
