Page 12 of The One I Want
I knew Cara did a lot. It wasn’t like I was on the road every day for the entire year. I helped when I was home or on light days during the season. But even with my mom helping out, I’ve barely been able to keep up.
That’s why I needed this weekend. Yes, I’m away for a game, but that’s fine. The kids are at my parents. They love staying in Rolling Hills, so they didn’t give me any complaints when I dropped them off this morning. Now I have a hotel room to myself where I can fall asleep watching anything I want and no one will wake me up in the middle of the night.
Just as I’m about to fall into the pillow and pass out for the night, my phone rings. Worried it might be one of the kids, I hurry and grab it, only to see the name Oliver popping up.
“Are you trying to ruin my night of peace?” I ask, making myself comfortable on the bed.
“Not on purpose. But I did figure that for the first time since the incident, you were going to be alone, so if you needed to vent and call your soon-to-be-ex-wife a bunch of names out of earshot of your kids, I’d be the willing ear.”
You don’t get a much better friend than Oliver Price. In our friend group, every person has their role. We didn’t assign them to each other; it just kind of happened that way. I’m the sensible one. Shane is the muscle. Simon has the business mind. And Oliver? He’s our caretaker.
“I’m good,” I say, mostly believing it.
“Don’t lie to me. Your wife leaves you and your three kids with a half-ass goodbye and an envelope of divorce papers? No man is good after that.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to get it out. I know you, and you’ve been keeping it inside.”
“What have I been keeping inside?”
“Your feelings. Your anger. Let it fucking out.”
“I haven’t seen you since she left. How do you know I haven’t already?”
“Because I’m the only one you would have voiced this to, and since you haven’t, I’m assuming you’re a bottle about to explode. I know for a damn fact you didn’t have a bleeding heart session with Shane or Simon.”
He’s right. If I had tried to have this talk with Shane, he just would have grunted a lot. Simon would have listened in theory, but he also would have been researching a property at the same time. So yes, I might have been looking forward to a nice night of peace and quiet, but maybe talking is what I need. At least now I can say what I want and not have to hide it from the kids.
“Magnolia asked when I dropped them off when mommy was coming home. She hadn’t asked that since she left.”
“Fuck,” Oliver says. “What did you say?”
“I told her the truth,” I say. “I said that mommy wasn’t going to be living with us anymore and was on a trip. I didn’t give her a ‘she will come home soon’ excuse because when she doesn’t, I’m not interested in cleaning up that heartbreak. Was that the right thing? I mean, she’s six, for God’s sake. How would you have explained it?”
Oliver is a kid whisperer. Always has been. He’s one of the best youth football coaches I’ve ever seen in action. It’s also why parents try to request to get their kids into his first-grade class. The man just connects with them in ways that leave me in awe.
“I think being honest with them is exactly what you need to do,” Oliver says. “Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I guarantee they knew things weren’t right. They might not have realized it, but kids are perceptive. And your kids are great. Be there for them. Love them. That’s all you can do.”
I let out a breath, because that’s what I’ve been doing. Or at least trying to. When Magnolia asked me that, my heart broke into pieces. How could Cara leave this precious girl? How could she leaveanyof them?
“I’m just mad,” I say, allowing the anger to bubble over. I might be accepting of this, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t be angry. “I’m fucking mad, Oliver.”
“As you should be.”
“If she didn’t want to be married to me, fine. I’m a man. I can take it. Did she hurt me when she left? Yes. I’m not going to lie and say she didn’t. I’ll heal. I’ll get over it. Especially since she showed her ass in how she left. But to do that to the kids? Her own fucking children? The three best things that happened to us? How could she do that, man? How could she just say that she wanted more and that they weren’t enough?They are everything.I’m not mad anymore that she left me. Fine. Ask me for a ridiculous alimony? Whatever. It’s just money. But to leave our kids and call just enough to not let them heal or get a sense of reality? That’s just fucking cruel. And I never in a million years thought Cara could be that.”
I let out a few breaths. Damn, that did feel good. Oliver was right. I have been holding it in. But when was I supposed to let it out? When I got home from the facility and in three seconds had to snap into dad mode and make sure they were showered, fed, and homework done? Or maybe during story time, the one moment of peace we’ve had each night that has kept all of us balanced? Or maybe it was in the middle of the night when Hank would climb into bed with me because he had a bad dream. Little did he know that I needed his comfort as much as he needed mine.
“Feel better?” Oliver asks.
“Much. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. I’m just an ear.”
I let the pause sit for a second, because I know he isn’t done. “I feel like there's a ‘but’ coming.”
“You know me so well. What I was going to say was, yes, I’m an ear to vent to, but you’re going to need more than a few minute vent sessions with me when you’re on the road. Wes, you need help, both physically and emotionally. The kids are going to need help. You need friends and family around you. And we will help you. You know I will. Your parents are foaming at the mouth to have their grandchildren closer to them. Hell, I bet we could even get Simon to babysit a day or two.”
