Page 19 of A Kingpin's Weakness
“Everybody about to go to bed,” Seth replied, rinsing off a plate. “You not missing out on nothing.”
“I’ll be up there to tuck you in and read you a bedtime story,” Serena added, sealing up one last container.
“Ms. Stormi, you wanna see my room?” S3 asked, eyes wide.
“Why not?”
“And maybe you can read me a bedtime story since you’re a teacher,” he grinned.
I glanced at Seth and Serena. “I can do that if Dad and GMA don’t mind.”
“Do your thing,” Seth said, giving a small nod.
S3 grabbed my hand and led me upstairs to his room. This wasn’t new to me I used to do the exact same thing for Noah growing up.
“Wow Incredible Hulk room? I love it.”
“Thank you! Daddy did it for me.”
“So, what book are we reading tonight?”
“You can pick one. I have to wash up.”
He ran into the connected bathroom to brush his teeth. I walked over to his small bookshelf and scanned the titles. This brought backsomany memories. I wished I could turn Noah back to this age before everything got complicated.
Maybe I should’ve taken him with me once I graduated high school.
If I could take care of him at thirteen while still in school, I could’ve done it at eighteen in college.
My eyes landed on a title that stood out:The Inner Courage.Something about it grabbed me, like the book had been waiting for this moment.
“Did you find one?” S3 called from the bathroom.
“Yes, I did. Come lay down and I’ll read it before your daddy comes in here and says I’m keeping you up.”
“Okay!”
He hopped into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. I sat at the edge of his bed and began reading. By the time I finished the last page, S3 was sound asleep. And I was in tears. Everything hit me at once; Noah, Jo, the guilt, the pressure, the silence I’d been keeping. I wassoover being strong.
“You actually got him to bed with one story?” Seth stood in the doorway of S3’s room, smirking softly. I tried to wipe my face quickly, but the tears came harder, exposing me.
“Damn, Stormi; you okay?” He crossed the room without hesitation, scooping me into his arms before I could even respond.
“What if he doesn’t wake up?” I whispered into his chest. “I won’t be able to forgive myself for leaving him.”
“Noah’s going to make it. You gotta think positive,” he stated, his voice steady but gentle. “But Stormi you can’t keep blaming yourself. Noah made his own decision to be in the streets. You’ve been carrying that weight alone for too long.”
“I left him with Jo,” I said through clenched teeth. “I knew how it was growing up with her.”
Seth pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes. “I don’t know your whole childhood,” he admitted, “but I do know this… if you made it out, he has a shot too. Everybody’s path is different. Every boy in the hood dreams about that fast money at some point. Some wise up. Some don’t. But he’s seventeen, and in his mind, that makes him grown. You can’t carry his choices.”
“I just I don’t want this life for him.”
“My mom didn’t want it for me either,” Seth said, his eyes dark with memory. “She worked three jobs and still couldn’t cover the bills. I’d come home and find her on her knees praying, crying, begging God to bring me home safe. I knew I was breaking her heart, but I also knew I had to be a man in the way I understood it. You gotta let Noah find his own way, even if it hurts.”
I pulled back slightly, wiping my face again. “I’m sorry. I was supposed to be in here reading S3 a bedtime story, and now I’m crying all over the place.”
He shook his head. “No need to apologize. You needed that release. If you want, you can stay the night. I got a guest room.”
