Page 86 of A Kingpin's Weakness
With whispered threats and silenced tears and pretending you’re strong when all you want to do is break.
I glanced over at Lia’s mom and sister, and my breath caught. They looked just like her. Three versions of the same light, dimmed too soon.
I reached for Seth’s hand again, needing to feel something real and warm. We took our seats behind Rich. The church slowly filled with people some crying, some whispering, some just holding onto each other like they were afraid to let go.
S3 sat between us, too quiet for a boy his age. He didn’t understand the full weight of today, but I could tell he felt it. We all did. This wasn’t just Lia’s funeral. This was a reminder of how fragile peace really is. And how fast love can turn into loss.
“Mommy,”
S3 whispered, his voice soft like he wasn’t sure he should’ve said it out loud.
I followed his little hand, the way he waved so innocently, so full of light in a room built on grief.
She was tall ,slim, bright-skinned with that slick kind of beauty that turned heads whether she meant to or not. Draped in all black, pants hugging her hips, and a see-through top that clung to her chest like a second skin.
Her wig was long, straight, blonde, and damn near touched the middle of her ass. Edges laid. Face beat. Body talking.
She turned when she saw S3 and gave him a soft smile just for him.
But the second her eyes landed onus,on me and Seth, our fingers laced together in quiet defiance, that smile vanished. Gone like it had never existed.
She didn’t say shit. Didn’t make a scene, but the way she looked at me… Yeah.
I felt that stare. But this wasn’t the time This wasn’t the place. And I damn sure wasn’t about to feed into some petty-ass energy while we were laying Lia to rest.
I turned my head, ignoring her. Stayed focused This ain’t high school.
I wasn’t about to be out here fighting nobody’s baby mama in front of a casket. I grew up watching Jo fight her man’s baby mama on the sidewalk like it was a sport heels in one hand, wig in the other and I swore I’d never live like that.
Seth hadn’t said much about her. He would when he was ready And until then? I wasn’t about to break my peace for a stare.
The music started up again. The choir filled the church with voices that made your chest ache. Family and friends stood, one by one, sharing memories, grief, regrets they didn’t even realize they were holding.
And then Rich stood up My whole body froze Seth and Southside rose with him one on each side like pillars, like protection. Like brothers.
The pain in Rich’s face? You could feel it… Not just see it, but feel it. Deep in your chest, under your ribs, where the soft parts live His eyes locked on the closed casket. And for a second, I swear he looked like a man begging God for a do-over.
And Seth stood right beside him… Not saying a word. Just being there. Loyal. Still. Steady. We all waited with baited breaths as Rich began to read aloud…
"Hey Beautiful. I saw you in my dream last night. Same smile, same light in your eyes. You laughed God, you alwayslaughed with your whole soul, and I swear, for a second, I forgot you were gone. You used to tell me my silence was loud. That even when I didn’t say shit, you knew what I felt. Right now, I hope you hear everything I never said out loud. Thank you. For loving me through the mess. For healing wounds you didn’t even put there. For standing ten toes down when life tried to break me. For being my calm in every storm. They keep saying life cheated you. That you were too good for this world,” He shut his eyes then flicked his hand over his nose before continuing.
“But me I say God lent me his most precious angel and I’ll never stop being grateful for the time I had with you. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You saw more in me than just a nigga from the block with a heart full of trauma. You saw amanAnd that’s what I became with you. I still hear you talking about your dreams the businesses, the degrees, the plans. We might not get to watch you walk that stage, but your name gon’ be on every door, every sign, every place you once spoke into existence. You didn’t just dream you planted seeds. And baby, I promise you, I’ll make sure they grow. Tell my grandma I said what’s up. I remember how bad you wanted to meet her. Now you got front row seats to heaven together. You’ll love her. She’s gonna love you even more for loving me the way you did. And don’t worry about your mom and your sister. I got them. Whatever they need, whenever they need it I’m there. You protected me in ways nobody else ever could. I’m gonna do the same for them. The bed feels cold, too big and now too damn quiet. But I leave your side open every night, just in case you visit. Keep it warm for me, alright. I don’t know how I’ll get through this life without you, but I’ll carry your name with pride. I’ll love you loud. I’ll live for the both of us now. Forever yours, Rich.”
After the funeral, we ended up at the banquet hall somewhere between grief and small talk, fake smiles over friedchicken and sweet tea. The room smelled like sorrow dressed up in cologne and soul food.
Ms. Serena found a seat beside Lia’s mom, holding her hand like she was afraid to let her fall apart. Rich, Seth, and Southside had slipped out back for air they needed it. You could see it in the way they’d been holding everything in all day. S3 and I stood in the food line. I was busy fixing plates for him and Seth, but my appetite was gone. I just wanted a shower, to wash off this heavy day, and curl up under the covers. The weight of everything was pressing down on me.
“That’s enough, S3?” I asked softly, gently placing rice on both their plates.
Then I heard it. The voice dripping with something like venom, or maybe just bitter jealousy:
“Look at the new stepmom.”
S3’s head whipped around, and he ran to her arms, calling out, “Mommy!”
She smiled at her son, but that smile disappeared the moment she locked eyes on me. Her stare was sharp, cutting right through me. I didn’t flinch. Not now. Not here. When Seth was ready, he’d introduce us. I wasn’t about to rush that, not with her waiting to throw down.
I forced a polite smile and extended my hand like we were just two strangers meeting at parent-teacher night. “It’s nice to meet you.”
