Page 79 of Shadebound
And then I saw it—the clearing by the river. My stomach lurched.
Bells was there.
She was propped against a great oak like a discarded doll. Her throat was cut wide open, the skin gaping, edges ragged as though the blade had sawed instead of sliced. Deep runes had been carved into her chest and arms, each one bleeding slow and steady in the rain. Her eyes stared blank, wide, glassy, unblinking.
“No, no—Bells, no—”
I hit the ground so hard my knees screamed. My hands shook as I reached for her, my fingers slipping on the blood that coated her skin. Her body was cold, her pink clothes soaked, clinging to her frame. I tried to hold her, tried to press my hands over her throat, over the runes, anything to stop it, anything to keep her with me.
The moment I touched her, more blood surged out. Not just from her wounds—her eyes filled red and spilled over, twin streams tracking down her cheeks. Her nose gushed, her mouth filled until it frothed down her chin. Her chest convulsed, violent jerks that made her whole body spasm against me. Her teeth clattered together as she choked, horrible wet sounds rattling out of her throat.
“Stop—please, stop—” I pressed harder, tried to hold her steady, tried to keep the blood inside. My palms slipped, smearing red over her chest, over my wrists. She jolted and thrashed, limbs twitching like a puppet yanked on broken strings. Her head lolled forward, then snapped back with a crack. Her tongue pushed out against the blood in her mouth as if she was drowning in it.
I sobbed, frantic, helpless. The rain washed nothing away. It only made it worse, spreading everything thin and sticky over my hands.
Her eyes rolled until they locked on mine. Then her lips moved, but the voice was in my head.
You killed me. You killed me. You killed me.
Her arms jerked up suddenly, hands latching onto my face. Her nails dug into my cheeks, biting deep enough to draw blood. She forced my chin up, held me in place, her wide, blood-rimmed eyes burning holes through me.
Her mouth opened impossibly wide, black with blood and froth, and she screamed in a voice that wasn’t hers:
“You killed me!”
The words tore through me, hollowed me out.
Then the world exploded white. Lightning ripped through my body, convulsing every muscle, dragging me out of the warped memory.
I came back on my knees in the sand, body arched, jaw locked, electricity shredding through every vein until it felt like my bones were going to crack apart.
My whole frame locked, every muscle burning, every vein screaming. I wanted to cry out but I didn’t—I just bit down on it, my jaw clenched so hard I thought my teeth might crack.
It actually hurt. Really hurt. The cuff at my wrist dug deep, the spires biting into my skin, and I knew that was why. It wasn’t just blocking my magic. It was letting the pain tear through meraw. Normally pain meant strength, fire in my veins, the sharp clarity I could ride. This time it was nothing but agony.
When the lightning cut off, I didn’t feel strong. I didn’t feel clear. I felt like I was about to puke my guts up.
I stumbled to the side, toward a cluster of rocks at the edge of the beach, dropped to my knees, and threw up hard. Acid burned my throat as everything I’d eaten came up in one violent rush. With a shaking body, I gripped the rock so tight my nails split, one snapping all the way back, blood mixing with bile at my fingertips. I heaved until there was nothing left, only dry gasps and spit.
Collapsing onto the wet sand, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, smearing grit across my face. My chest heaved. My head throbbed. My whole body shook like it wasn’t mine anymore.
What the actual fuck.
I dragged in ragged breaths, trying to steady myself, when I heard it—a scoff. A motherfucking scoff.
I lifted my head. Alessandro stood over me, arms folded, bright blue eyes sharp and full of disdain.
I wanted to smite him. But once again the smite thoughts never stuck.
“You need to learn to keep people out of your head,” he said. His voice was flat, cutting. “Otherwise you’re useless. Pointless sending someone like you into a war if you’re going to fall apart over a trick of memory.”
I spat into the sand, thick and sour, because I didn’t have anything else left in me. My voice was hoarse, shaking. “I just watched my sister die again—saw her bleeding out of every hole in her body. Forgive me for needing a moment.”
At her mention, Alessandro flinched. Just barely. His eyes darted, then settled back on me.
“Nothing she didn’t deserve.”
The words punched through harder than the lightning.
