Page 60 of Montana Falls
I realized as he stayed abnormally silent that he did understand.
He’d not been to his old home once since his parents had died. He owned the place, and my dad had taken him to get his things and sort out his parents’ stuff. But he hadn’t been able to get out of the car then, or any of the other times we’d driven to it. That first time we’d all offered to go inside for him, and everything that didn’t belong to Price had sat in boxes since then.
I couldn’t see him going inside for a while and I didn’t blame him at all.
It was horrible.
My home looked the same, but it did not feel the same and I knew as I crossed the threshold that it never would. My dad was never coming home. He’d died in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by sunshine, sand and sins, and that was where he would stay. It was just the rest of us who lived here now. The rest of us who had to pretend not to feel him everywhere.
I wasn’t surprised my mom had refused to come home. I wasn’t baffled that she’d done nothing but try to escape and drown herself in pills she could easily prescribe. I wasn’t shocked she had barely spoken two words to me or anyone other than Sapphire since dad had died. What could she say? What was there for us to talk about when we had no answers and no way to change anything for the better?
She was broken too, and only she could fix things for herself.
“It feels like we haven’t left.” Logan said softly as he looked around the main room the same way we all did.
Some of my clothes were on the side, folded and washed. The other guys belongings were dotted about in various places, and there was even a handful of Kody’s favorite kitchen tools still sitting on the drainer. A half-burned candle stood on the coffee table, our game controllers there too, thrown about haphazardly. Sapphire’s sneakers were by the door, a pair of her fluffy socks waiting for her on the couch… Itwaslike we had just left and in a way we had – we’d run out of there, fast as anything, concentrating on nothing but getting to safety before more gangsters came to find us.
Now we were back, forced to act the same. Forced to pretend that we weren’t going to be trying to bait a stalker in another day or so, or that we weren’t covered in more scars and trauma than we’d left with.
The only difference was that we were safe here, like we had been for a while at the start of Sapphire’s ‘kidnapping’, and it felt oddly right that we had come full circle now that we neared the end of our fight.
Or what I hoped was the end, anyway. It needed to be.
I couldn’t add another funeral to my list.
“I think we should move all the camping shit downstairs into the lounge. Like we did in the hotel.” Lincoln stood in the middle of the room, eyes everywhere and nowhere all at once. “It doesn’t feel right to sleep apart and I think it’s safer too, for a couple of nights until… until things are dealt with.”
“I’ve never been camping.” Sapphire muttered as I clenched my fists, needing the sting of my nails digging into my palms to help calm me down from the sudden urge to sob as I thought of our memories camping in the summer growing up. “But I am down to try indoor first. Perhaps it is fun, and we can do it in nature one time, too.” She snorted half-heartedly. “Once I’ve bought myself a sparkly crown, so I can play woodland fairy.”
Kody moved past her to get into the kitchen, only stopping so he could brush a kiss on her head. “You still have the one you wore here,cica. It’s in my dresser, ready and waiting for you to put it on your pretty head.”
“Why’s it in your drawer, bro? You playing dress up?” Price shook off his odd quiet, forcing humor into his tone like he always did as he headed into the lounge to push the furniture around and make more room.
“I could be a princess if I wanted. I’d look hot in a ballgown and I’d get off on ruling over an army of sycophants.” Kody opened the fridge, checking that it was still working fine before he grabbed some cleaning products from under the sink, Logan joining him.
For a handful of minutes, I stood there watching them all. Price laughing and joking as he used his strength to rearrange furniture. Logan and Kody working quickly and seamlessly as they hurried to give the kitchen a quick dust and clean for the groceries we’d stopped to buy a few miles out from the house. My brother making a trip downstairs, grabbing all of our sleeping bags and camp beds with Sapphire’s help, before the pair started setting them up.
They all worked together. Acted normal.
I just stood there. Silent. Unmoving. Unable to even pretend the same way they all did because I could only think about one thing…
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I headed to the kitchen cupboard on the far right, opening it up with a frown and rummaging through until I found what he wanted, hidden away by the copious amounts of mugs we owned.
“What are you doing,papi?”Sapphire was clearly watching me and when I glanced up, she wasn’t the only one.
Everyone stared at me. Or more importantly, what was in my hand.
A number one dad mug. Handmade. Terribly painted in bright colors and swirls – a gift from a child that was no doubt precious. It was what I’d made when I was little. What I’d gifted him with a toothy grin and far too much pride for the quality.
What I would never be getting rid of.
“He drank from this every morning.” I stared at the mug, eyeing up each mark and sign of age before I turned towards my bedroom, taking the mug with me and hiding it in my top drawer.
As much as I knew the others would want to talk to me – or at least see me hanging around them being relatively normal. I couldn’t do it. Not yet. I needed a single moment in time to lock my bedroom door, slide to the floor beside it, and pull out my phone.
It picked up the first dial after I hit the call.
“Mom.” My voice cracked. “We’re home now. I just wanted to let you know.”
