Page 68 of Fixation
Shame for being bound to this bed.
Shame for going in a bucket that isn’t here anymore. The air is fresh and clean.
Another layer of shame descends on me when I realizehesmells clean. His woodsy cologne permeates the air. A touch of spice.
And his hair, it’s still damp from the shower. With my nose only partly stuffed, I’m able to inhale his scent. It smells just as mouthwatering as the rest of him.
I hate him for it.
Yet the thickest, most horrible layer of shame is because I lust for him.
His arousal on my fingers. I’ve almost licked the cum of the man who’s kidnapped me.
A scream bubbles in my throat.
“You’re a monster.” I have to put my clothes back in place without getting his cum on them. I won’t lick it. Don’t want tolick it. “If you think you’re coming anywhere near me, you’re delusional.”
I’m about to rub his seed on his clothes. His hip is the closest.
“Now, now.” His hand is a manacle around my wrist. Dr. Maguire is a force, gentle yet powerful as he pushes my fingers toward my mouth. “There’s no need to panic. I’ll be quick. A warm cloth over your body. That’s it. You’ll feel better after it.”
“You meanyou’llfeel better.” His hand is closer. A threat. A temptation. I smell him. I don’t want him. No. “You sick fuck.”
Truthfully, there are two sick fucks in this basement.
One of them is him.
The other is me.
As it dawns on me, I sigh. I stop resisting.
I let him use my fingers to smear his cum over my cheeks.
I’m sticky, and I hate it as much as I hate him.
I’m hot and I don’t hate it one bit.
Dark eyes grow darker. His shoulders are tense. His expression is stern, yet the rest of him is all emotion. A thundering desire. An unhinged kind of possessiveness.
He can’t control it. Anderson looks at me like he’s going to eat me alive.
Maybe he will.
I refuse to whimper, so I don’t. I will my legs to stay where they are. Relax my thighs.
Nothing he does will make me seek friction. His rough and careful touch won’t fuck with my head so badly that I clench my legs. Again.
Fuck that.
Revulsion and guilt make me angry. So angry.
Fuck him for my wet pussy. For this need that he’s been injecting me with for days. It’s no better than the anesthetics. Worse.
My veins have to reject him.
Ihave to reject him.
But how can I when my cells thrum for his touch?
