Page 6 of Wrap Around
In an attempt to smooth things over, I tried talking to Coach about switching up the lines. I made a case for Gideon working better with Landon, which isn’t a lie. They’ve got solid chemistry, and they read each other well. But Coach wasn’t having it.
So now our whole line is stuck here after every brutal practice, running the same passing drills like it’s rookie camp. Coach barking from the sidelines while we cycle and reset, over and over.
Landon doesn’t say anything, but I can feel it. There’s an edge in his movements, a clipped tone when he calls for the puck. He doesn’t need to come out and say I’m the reason we’re stuck here.
Gideon won’t even look at me. He passes too hard. Skates too wide. Like I’m contagious, or a dangerous animal he can’t trust.
I’m trying. I really am. But his avoidance is getting to me.
The locker room is quiet after everyone leaves. I've taken to calling Lily while Gideon showers so I don't have to subject myself to the tension of being in the same space naked. The temptation to look, to trace the lines of abs and ink and drink in his presence is too much. Not to mention the seething anger is so thick in the air, it’s hard to breathe.
I'm leaning back against the lockers with my phone propped up on some of my discarded pads on the bench.
"Things are going great. The team is great. I'm getting along with everyone."
She tilts her head and gives me a look. One that says she smells my bullshit. "What's wrong?" she asks. "I'm not buying this 'everything is great' crap. You say the same thing every time, Silas. And every time I ask about my brother, you deflect and change the subject back to me and Addy."
I smile. "But I like talking about Addy."
"Silas," she warns.
"Fine." I huff a breath like a petulant child. "He won't even look at me," I admit, rubbing a hand over my face. "Won't talk to me, won't acknowledge me, won't even pass me the puck. It's the reason I've been held back after practice every single day. Coach is on us about not playing like teammates, but I don't know what to do about it, and it’s starting to affect my relationship with the other guys on the team."
I take a moment to press the heels of my palms into my eyes. "I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this."
Lily sighs. "I'll try to talk to him when I get there. He can't ignore me," she says, soft but firm. I hope she’s right. She does have a presence about her that makes you want to listen. And they were always so close growing up. "I don't get why he's still got his panties in a twist about this. It's been years. We did what we had to do. You’d think he'd forgive you and be glad you did the right thing."
She doesn't know the whole story or the real reason why her brother hates me so much. I've told her that he considered our announcement the ultimate betrayal, but since I can't tell her Gideon's secret, I can't explain why it broke him the way it did. Why it broke both of us.
Lily did everything she could to comfort me after we figured out he'd left for good. She held me while I sobbed without an ounce of judgement. She even pushed back my hair while I cried so hard I vomited, even though she was struggling with morning sickness at the time. She's always been my best friend.
One more week. That's all that's left before she and Adaline move up here and we're all together again. I miss my girls. I miss holding my daughter at night, playing toddler floor hockey with her, kissing her soft baby hair. I miss her tiny voice calling me Dada, and the way she tries to shove cheese-flavored fish crackers into my mouth with her chubby fists. I haven't seen enough of them these past two years, even though I made every effort to fly down to see them every chance I got, and call or send video messages every single day.
I'm grateful for this life. For the chance to provide for them. It's more than I could ask for, and almost everything I ever wanted.
Gideon walks through the locker room just as I start making ridiculous kissy faces in the camera and laughing at Addy's squeals of delight. "I love my girls!" I say, then make some more kissy faces before I end the call.
He's standing stock-still, wearing nothing but a towel, thick arms crossed over his chest while beads of water and rage roll down his body. His glare could melt the rink. He bares his teeth and practically growls. It raises the hairs on the back of my neck, like a dog getting its hackles up. I’ve tried to be understanding and give him space, but this is getting ridiculous.
"Is there a problem?" I say, my tone clipped and annoyed. I get to my feet, heat rising in my chest and trickling up my neck to my face. It’s time I stand up for myself. I've let him steamroll over me for weeks and I can't stand it anymore.
He stalks up to me, so close I can feel the anger pouring off him in waves of heat, eyes burning. "A problem?" he sneers. "Yes, there’s a problem.You'remy problem, Silas. You're the worst kind of person there is. You make me sick." He bends down and swipes my pads and phone to the floor, then steps over the bench to loom overme.
I step back and freeze, realizing that it's just us here. Everyone else is gone, and Gideon is crowding me back against the lockers. He doesn't stop, getting closer, louder, and angrier with every heaving breath.
"It makes me sick, hearing you talk to her like that. Like nothing happened. Like you didn't betray her even worse than you betrayed me." His voice drops, low and raw and dangerous. "You made me part of it. You made me betray her, too. And I had no idea she was…" he trails off, but doesn't back away. He crowds me backwards until my spine hits the lockers.
I open my mouth, but close it again. There's nothing I can say. I can't tell him the truth, the same way I can't tell Lily his.
He's too close, too hot, too angry. His breath fans across my cheek and I try to press myself harder into the cold metal of the lockers to escape the heat of him.
Now is not the time to realize just how much my body still reacts to his. How every hair and pore feels like it's reaching for him, even though I'm leaning away. Now is not the time to count the days since we were this close. Or to think about his lips on mine…
But I do.
And he notices.
His gaze drops to my mouth, eyes flickering with something that looks like pain and lust and betrayal all over again. His fist pulls back.
