Page 29 of Wrap Around
"You saw for yourself that Lily was fine with it," I say casually. "She'd understand. If you ever wanted to tell her…"
Gideon turns away from me and grips the edge of the counter so tightly I'm surprised the stone doesn't crack.
"I don't have anything to tell," he mutters, shoulders hunched.
I want to grab him and shake him violently for his damn stubbornness. At the same time, I want to wrap him up and promise him he's not alone. If he'd just come out to Lily, this could all be fixed.
But I don't. He's clearly not ready.
Afterwe finish cleaning up, I show him where the towels are and get him a spare toothbrush. He nods stiffly, mumbles a thanks, and disappears into the guest room.
I retreat into my own room, flopping down on the bed and staring at the physical wall separating us. Knocking this wall down would be easier than getting through his metaphorical defenses.
He's so close. And yet… so far away.
I lie awake long into the night, wishing for things I don't have the right to wish for. Wishing he could just see—justbelieve—that he's already loved exactly the way he is. That Lily would love him. That I could love him.
I finally drift off to sleep, dreaming about a maybe someday future that likely couldn’t ever be possible.
CHAPTER 12
GIDEON
I go to bed more tired than drunk. After all the food and the mountain of dishes, most of the wine has worked its way through my system. I probably could have driven home, but I was too in my head. I'm tired on an emotional level, and also wanting to hold on to the feelings tonight brought me for a little while longer. The feeling of friends and family; the laughter and light. Being around Silas without everything hurting quite so much. At least until we were alone.
There are fleeting moments when I think I can do this. That we can be friends. Maybe never like we once were, but close enough that Lily can be happy.
If only I could stop myself from fantasizing about him. From falling asleep to the memory of his arms wrapped around me…
I wake up with a start. I'm covered in sweat, heart pounding.
The dream fades quickly, but not fast enough that the images don't linger.
Sweat. Steam. My back slamming into cold, wet tile. Silas' hands in my hair. My mouth on his throat. His body pressed into mine.
I groan into the pillow, dragging it over my face and pressing into it to muffle my yell of frustration. "Fuck!"
It was just a dream.
I have to shake it off. Forget it happened. It's just a dream. A stupid, steamy, locker room fantasy that my traitorous brain decided to play in high definition while I was unconscious and weak.
I stare down at the sheets tangled around my legs from my restless tossing and turning, and scowl at my tented boxers. This can't happen here. I need a cold shower or something before anyone else wakes up.
Uncomfortable and irritated at myself, I crawl out of bed. I crack open the door and step out, only to run straight into the star of my very vivid sex dreams. He looks like he just woke up too, and it's doing nothing to cool my engines. His hair disheveled just like after I used it to…
No.Nope. Not going there.
I look behind him at the door he just emerged from. Not the primary bedroom. Not where I know Lily was sleeping last night. A detail that sticks and lodges itself into the forefront of my mind, making my brain short-circuit for a second.
"Sorry," Silas mumbles, his voice gravelly with sleep. "Thought you'd still be asleep."
I freeze. My body is not cooperating right now, and I do not need him noticing the way I'm holding my hands in front of my crotch right now.
"Did you sleep okay?" he asks, his eyes flicking over me. Theypause at my knees, likely checking the bare skin for how well they’ve healed, and then back up to my face.
I don't answer. Instead, I turn around, march to the bathroom, and lock myself inside.
A few minutes later, after I've brushed my teeth and given my dick a stern talking to, I go back to the guest room to get dressed in the clothes I wore yesterday. I can smell coffee and bacon being made downstairs. After breakfast, I'll head straight to the practice rink. I have some workout clothes to change into there, and a few extra laps will help clear my head.
