Page 45 of Nothing To Lose
Oh."Can I ask why?"
"You can ask me anything you want." He looks a little uncomfortable as he takes a seat on the end of the bed, already fully naked. The tease wasn't wearing any underwear, it seems. " I had a bad experience that kind of put a bad taste in my mouth, so I feel like I need a little extra trust to be able to relax enough."
"What happened?" Maybe I shouldn't ask, but if we're standing here naked, discussing our trauma, I might as well find out if there's anything I should know before he lets me experiment on him.
"We'd both had too much to drink, and he was too impatient to prep me enough."
I might not know what that feels like, but my body clenches with sympathy-pain and anger. "Is it dumb that I want to know who it was so I can gouge their eyeballs out?"
"I know how that feels," he says pointedly. "But I actually knew the guy, and I don't think he did it on purpose."
Guilt flashes through me, and I look away. Because I knew theguytoo.
"I like bottoming when it's someone who's paying attention and cares about my comfort as well as their own pleasure."
"It's fucked up that it's even something that needs to be said."
"According to my sister, it's a man thing. She has the same issue with guys."
"Well, I don't want to be like that. So teach me how to do it right, okay?"
He grins, but there's a touch of sadness in it. I want to tell him I don't plan on utilizing these skills on anyone else, but what if that's too much?
"Alright, well, first things first—lube." He leans over and pulls a small bottle from between the wall and mattress.
"Has that been there this whole time?"
Isaac laughs. "Gotta keep it handy."
"It's nice to know you're ready for visitors, I guess," I say, trying to laugh off the idiotic surge of jealousy that flashes through me.
"I meanthandyvery literally," he says, laughing. "I've never brought anyone here before. And I haven't gone home with anyone since I moved here, either."
"Okay," I say, pretending like that's not information I need to know.
"I'm also on PrEP, and get regular health screenings. My last one was just before I moved here. Everything was negative." He must notice how surprised I am that he's telling me all of this. "It's important to talk about with any of your sexual partners, especially if you're considering unprotected sex."
"Are we considering unprotected sex?" I ask, my cheeks flushing.
"It's not something I've done outside of a committed relationship, and I've never really had one of those before," he laughs awkwardly. "That being said, I can show you my most recent results or get re-tested if it's something you want."
He doesn't do relationships.Don't be a loser!
"Better safe than sorry, right?"
"Some people also prefer condoms to the mess."
I think about what he means by mess, and feel a wave of heat flash from my head to my toes and back up again. The rush of blood has my cock going from half-mast to steel pipe.
"Okay, I have to know what that look is for."
"What look?" I croak, because my voice gets caught in the sensation of all my veins throbbing. This can't be normal. I might need medical intervention.
"Tyler, whatever it is, you can tell me."
I clear my throat and shake my head. "No, I really don't think I can."
"I'm about to lay out on this bed and let you get up close and personal with my asshole," he deadpans.
