Page 27 of Nothing To Lose
"What part of what happened this morning made you think I wasn't attracted to you?" There was nothing subtle about that.
"I just thought it was a normal stimulus response, and it was, you know, morning. I felt awful because I assumed you'd be very uncomfortable about the gay guy in your bed with an erection," he whispers, looking around to make sure no one is listening. "Especially because it was the second time I’ve done that to you."
The blush creeps back up his neck, and I want to show him just how much of a stimulus response he gives me, but I refrain.Gentle. Calm. Slow.
"Because you assumed I was straight."
"Well, yeah. You give off very… I don't know… macho vibes. Like I said, I shouldn't stereotype, but I assumed."
He keeps his eyes down when our plates get dropped off. As soon as Anders walks away again, I get his attention.
"Tyler?"
He looks up shyly. "Yeah?"
"For clarity, I’m very much gay. And very,verymuch interested."
7
TYLER
Holy shit balls.
This cannot be real.
We barely speak through our breakfast. I can barely eat anything, only picking at the omelet I ordered, and Anders wraps it up. He watches us curiously the whole time, and brushes Isaac off when he tries to pay. He gives me a curt but friendly nod, and I mouth a thank you as we're leaving.
On the way back to Isaac's building, he practically pulls me behind him. When we get inside the front door, I pull away and make a beeline for the bathroom. After splashing some cool water on my face, I look up at my reflection. I've never been conventionally attractive. I'm too skinny, too average. My nose is too broad, and I have a weirdly protuberant Adam's apple. Wearing glasses makes me look like an owl, especially these frames. The big, round, wire-framed glasses are probably my least attractive pair, but they're the lightest and most comfortable for the bruising on my face. My hair is shaggy and in need of a trim, but I’m using it to my advantage to cover the worst of the cut on my face. Some of the splotches on my face are fading into a shade of purple that would almost be pretty if not for the circumstances and the swelling.
There's no way someone as hot as Isaac would wantthis.Want me.But I can't imagine him being someone who would feed another person lies to get them in bed.
Let’s be honest, it’s not like he’d have to. I'm pretty sure he could look me in the eye and tell me he wants to use me once and throw me away, and I'd let him wreck me.
I scoff at my own thoughts. As if I'd even know what that would be like. I know nothing.
There's a knock at the bathroom door. "You okay in there?"
"Yeah, just overthinking my existence," I say sardonically.
When I step out, he's leaning against the wall. "What is there to overthink?"
My mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. I don't know where to start.
"Come on, guppy." He reaches for my hand, and pulls me towards his small living room setup.
"Guppy?"
"Oh, that's right. You're a cat, not a fish. Should I go withkitten, then?"
"Do you name every stray you take in?" I joke, but it comes off a little dry. My heart is not ready for him to call me any kind of cute or sexy pet names. I'm not sure I could survive it.
"I've never taken one in before, so I'm not sure what the procedure should be," he says, taking a seat on one side of the couch.
Putting a little space between us, I sit on the opposite side and pull my knees up. He lets me have the space, and I’m grateful for it.
"Me neither," I say, catching on to what I’m pretty sure is a euphemism for relationships. Does that mean he only has casual sex? Am I really okay with that?
"Alright, so we're both a little new at this."
