Page 21 of Off the Rim
"I'm not being any way,Ashton. I'm just trying tobe. But you desperately need me to give you your moment so you can hear yourself speak. So go ahead," he says, gesturing for me to get on with it.
Again, I stutter.
Marcus rolls his eyes in frustration.
"You were a fucking coward then, and you're a fucking coward now," he spits.
He takes a step up to me, bringing our chests only inches away, his face looking up at mine. Despite being shorter, his display of dominance works. I feel sufficiently small, cowed by his indignation.
You're right, I was a coward. I should never have let any of that happen. Just as I'm about to spit the words out,my new bestie Anderson steps out of a shower a few doors down from where we’re standing.
"Everything alright?" he asks, looking between us.
I take a step back and nod. "Yeah, everything's fine."
"Is it?" Marcus says, stepping past me and looking me up and down, finding me wanting. "Or did you want to actually helphold me down this time? Maybe get a hit in before you get me kicked off the team?"
"What? No, of course not, I?—”
But he's not listening. He's already turned his back and walked away.
That could have gone better.
"He giving you trouble?" Anderson asks.
Despite clearly being one of the best players on the team—if notthebest—I overheard a lot of bullshit that I couldn’t believe the coaches didn’t shut down. Not only do they refer to Marcus as Burke’sBall Bitch, but they rag on him behind his back, calling him ‘the charity case’, because Marcus is here on scholarship. People like this can smell wealth, or the lack of it, and think it means something.
Frustrated that the coaches seem perfectly fine with letting their team bond over hating on the only scholarship student, I had to say something. Without making it too obvious that I had a vested interest in Marcus Vell, I'd shrugged and said he must be pretty good to have gotten a scholarship to a school like CVU, because it's widely known that this elite private university doesn't give them out often. But Anderson told me Marcus was only considered because his stepdad is on the faculty and apparently is very close friends with one of the assistant coaches. They barely consider him one of the team.
It filled me with rage, but of course I clammed up. It’d only make him more of a target if I drew more attention his way.
However many times he’s shown them that he's here for a reason, it won't stop them from looking down their noses at him.Aside from winning the lottery or otherwise coming into a very large sum of money, he won't be worth their attention. And even then, they'd talk shit behind his back about being new money and how it was obtained. As if any of them did anything other than be born into the right family to earn what they have.
I realize I'm one of those assholes too. I thought and talked the same shit. It wasn't until I spent any time with Marcus that I thought twice about it. Worse, it wasn't until the night of the biggest fuckup of my life that I started behaving differently. If only I ever grew the balls to stand up for other people, even Marcus.
“No, it’s all good. We were just talking.”
Anderson doesn’t look convinced, considering the tension he walked in on.
“We’re from the same hometown, so there’s some history,” I explain. It’s not until the words come out of my mouth that I realize how that sounds. “Not, like—” I stop myself, deciding I don’t care.
While I choose not to make my sexuality a talking point, I also don’t care to be in a closet. Anderson can think whatever the fuck he wants. Right now, all I care about is finding a way to get Marcus alone. To talk and clear the air between us. I need to apologize and find a way to show him I’m sincere. Never mind that I still find him incredibly attractive. Or that ultimately, I made the decision to transfer schools because I found out that Marcus was here.
I need to make things right. But he seems determined to maintain his anger. To hate me.
“He’s an alright player, but that doesn’t make him one of us. We’ve got your back, James.”
Once again, I stand in stunned silence rather than say anything to defend him.
CHAPTER 15
MARCUS
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
This can’t be happening.
Despite my stoic attitude, I really try hard to stay optimistic about my lot in life. I prefer to look at the bright side of things, like the great opportunity I've been given to come to a school like Cumberland Valley University. I knew from the moment I considered applying that I wouldn't fit in here, and transferring in for my Junior year probably didn't help. I'd hoped that getting financial aid and not wearing the trendiest, most expensive training gear wouldn't matter at this point in our lives. I hoped that I'd be able to integrate into the team dynamics by being a standout player. If there's one thing I'm not a stranger to, it's working hard to prove myself.
