Page 19 of Breakout
He sighs, taking a different approach. “Come on, Peyton, do you blame me for being concerned? This isn’t normal.”
“I think it’s time you leave,” I say as I stand.
“Peyton…”
“No, Beckett, it’s time for you to go. I have to get ready for class.” I turn and walk to my closet and start pulling out clothes.
How fucking dare he. I’ve been taking care of myself for years. Is it sketchy? Yes, but I can handle myself. The same way I handled myself when my foster brother tried to get handsy with me. Or when one of my eighth-grade teachers tried to fail me because she didn’t like me.
It’s always been me against the world, and it always will be.
I don’t need anyone. Not some family that didn’t exist until this moment and not Beckett fucking Hayes.
I tense as I feel him walk up behind me. My eyes shut as he kisses the back of my head.
“This isn’t over,” he says softly.
“It is.”
He sighs. “I’ll see you later.”
When the door clicks shut behind him, I sigh.
In the silence of the room, I realize how alone I truly am. All the tension drains from my body, leaving my body sagging as I fall back onto my bed.
I can handle myself. I always have, but that doesn’t mean I want to.
Shit, maybe he’s right, and I should let him come with me.
I won’t, though. I can’t. If I start to rely on him, then I will develop feelings for him. Feelings have never done me any good.
Peyton, we are going to adopt you. We will love you forever.
The brief flashback to my first foster parents enters my head unbidden. The words were pretty. I wanted them to be true.
Too bad Cynthia found out she was pregnant three weeks later. They had no need for a foster child after that. They sent me on my way with the clothes on my back and a lesson.
You can’t let your heart get involved. It will only cause you more pain.
So I won’t rely on Beckett. I can’t.
I refuse to let anyone into my heart.
The pain isn’t worth it.
I tap my thumb on the space bar of my keyboard as I stare at my phone. I should be working on a paper for my investment management class, but my mind can’t concentrate on why I believe the fictional company would be a good investment. Instead, like usual, Peyton is taking up all my thoughts.
Reaching over, I grab my phone and swipe the screen awake. Quickly I open the text chain and see that she has still left me on read. Groaning, I set my phone down and rub my face.
If only I had kept my mouth shut or worded my words differently, maybe then she wouldn’t be avoiding me. The last time I went twenty-four hours without hearing from her was the night we met. I just had to open my mouth and fuck it all up by showing her I was concerned.
Rule #5—If any feelings develop, it ends.
I hate the fucking rules.
My laptop screen times out and darkens. I should wake it back up and get to work, but it’s a lost cause for now. Reaching forward, I shut my laptop and stand. I can’t sit here any longer. I leave my room and head downstairs. I hear someone moving around in the kitchen, so I head that way instead of going to the living room.
“Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had class right now,” I ask.
