Page 43 of Of Nightmares & Fire
Through it all, I can't help but notice the many times Astraea and my eyes have clashed as we catch each other stealing glances. Her cheeks pink on multiple occasions and judging by the tension coming from the solicitous guard she has, there are some thoughts churning about the interactions.
“Ready?” Astraea says before we exit the palace. Kellan nods to both of us before exiting first. Astraea moves to follow, but I stop her before she descends the steps. I pull her into an alcove shielded by the sun and I deepen the shadows with my magick. She sucks in a sharp breath as I pull her into my chest.
“Before we do this, I want to make sure you are ready. This is what you want?” It doesn’t matter if this is what she wants, but right now, it is easier that she believes she has a choice.
“I’ve wanted nothing more my whole life than to get away from this nightmare. You are saving my life, Kyros.” My stomach sinks at her admission. Though I know that this is a job I am required to do, I can't help but feel a little regret at omitting the truth of why I am helping her leave the kingdom. I grind my teeth and nod, because I can say nothing more that won't be a lie. She has been lied to enough, and because I am a sadist prick, I grab the back of her neck and pull her to me.
Our lips collide and I swear sparks fly out around us. The little magick I have restored trembles around us as we take each other's air until we can no longer breathe. Hiding in the shadows it seems like time has stopped entirely and I finally break the kiss, leaning back to look at my Shula Morana’s eyes. That same regret surfacing as I feel like I am drowning in her.
“Ready?” I ask.
“I’m beginning to think I will be ready for anything—with you.” She says, taking my breath with her as she steps out of the shadows and catches up to Kellan taking his arm, he guides her where the rest of the suitors have already been lined up.
I don’t like this plan, as it takes me so far from her, and my brother… but I can't very well just walk up to the main steps where the ceremony is going to take place. I’m quick to find Zinya. She was the main person I was looking for. I’m confused for a moment when I don’t see Tarin. He should be with her. She must sense my confusion because as I reach her she nods in the direction of where the suitors are stationed. Tarin is just behind Mavros. Each suitor has a guard standing at heel strapped with weapons and ready for a journey.
“The king is allowing one guard of their choice to accompany the suitors. No women are allowed.” Zinya growls under her breath, with her arms crossed over her chest.
“He would have chosen you, if the king would have allowed it.” I tell her, but she knows it's likely not the truth. Mavros would want to protect her if he could, by not allowing her to come. Even if she is one of the most respected fighters in Diemos.
“I want you to know, we have a plan and Mavros will not be fighting in this challenge.” Her head snaps in my direction and I look at her out of the corner of my eye. “The princess knows and is coming back to Diemos with us willingly. She is part of the plan to escape.” Zinya's head snaps back toward where the king steps from his opulently decorated palanquin. The carved design dippedin golden metal lets off a reflected flash of light as it is lowered for him to take the steps toward where Astraea waits.
“Lovely people of Eathian! It's time for the next challenge to receive my daughter's hand in marriage. Let the favor ceremony begin!” He calls out over the quieting crowd. All eyes are glued on him, but he only finds mine. A smirk playing on his lips. This whole thing is for me. To separate me and my brother. I can’t wait to fuck up his plans entirely.
Chapter thirty
Astraea
Myfatherstepsfromthe palanquin swathed in white linen and blaring gold embellishments. His pompous superiority is on display at every opportunity, and a journey into the desert seems to be the least of his worries. Not when he won’t have to lift a single finger. Unease builds in my stomach as he comes closer, announcing that the ceremony is to begin.
I hold my breath as he comes to a stop at my side.Thank the divine that it didn’t take much convincing to get Cole to agree on leaving.She was already in the moment I told her, no questions asked. My nerves are shot, and I can’t help but chew on my lip as I await what is to come.
“Why is your hair not pulled back, Astraea? This look is very unbecoming, especially for a woman who is looking to secure thefuture king.” My father tuts, eyeing me with disgust. His lip curls back as he greets me in front of those who turned out to watch the ceremony. Keeping his features shadowed to the crowd to keep the facade of a doting father. Taking my hands, he bends down, placing a kiss on my forehead, and then whispers the rest of hispraiseof his only child. “If I can’t trust that you will be put together like the future queen, perhaps I need to find someone new to help ensure there are no more mishaps like this again.” My eyes snap to his muddy brown stare before I fix my silent glare on the crowd. His threat is void anyway. Colette is coming with me, and we will both be gone before nightfall. He takes my silence as yielding and steps away, tilting his head smugly.
My eyes drift across the crowd of people, immediately drawn to the darkness that tends to cloud around Kyros. His dark aura surrounds him and beckons me with its whispered embrace, and for a moment, I get lost in the memory of last night. Everything that happened, everything said… and not said. Kyros is still a mystery, but he showed kindness to me and is clearly loved by his people. I feel myself wanting to trust him. I suppose I do to an extent; otherwise, none of this would be happening.
When our eyes meet, heat prickles up my spine and crawls into my cheeks, but I can’t look away. As much as I have tried to convince myself otherwise, after all the deaths my running away caused… I have dug down as far as I can in my gut, searching for any inkling that I am not doing the right thing, but every time, I come up with nothing. I have never felt more sure of a decision in my life.
“Princess, the blessings.” Colette whispers into my ear, and I flinch. My eyes flutter as the daze I was in is shattered by the touch of her hand on my elbow and the words breaching my conscious mind. I blink slowly, drawing in a deep breath as I step down on the lower level of the stairway, where the suitors are lined up. Pravin has informed me of my father’s decision on who my favor will be going to for this challenge and has assured me that if I disobey this time, he will make good on the promise he last gave. Just the thought makes my stomach churn and bile threaten to burn my throat.That will not be happening.
Though it is still morning, the sun is already baking the sand with its radiating heat. The scorching rays will only get worse as the day goes on. Everyone taking this journey looks ill-prepared, save Mavros and his guard. Cadoc, too, seems better equipped than the rest. They dress in the colors of the dunes. I noticed Kyros wearing the same sort of attire today as he blends into the crowd. The shemagh they have wrapped around their necks, the loose cotton fabrics, and light colors are better suited for the harsh elements the desert will undoubtedly provide. Most of the others are dressed in the attire most acceptable for their own lands. Not at all in tune with the arid heat and vicious landscape they are trying to be the next king of.
The rains that flooded the land as most of them arrived in Eathian have dried and will likely not return for some time now. The heat of summer will bring a different type of storm. Storms of the gods fury, winds that blow sand like tiny glass shards that cut through skin. Lightning that will illuminate the land with its radiantlight and catch flame to anything able to burn. The heat alone is a slow death if you are not prepared; at least, that’s what I’ve read in journals of travelers. Stories that the unsuspecting guards tell each other when Cole and I are merely shadows around the palace, sneaking through passageways in areas we are not supposed to venture to. I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t terrified of what this journey will bring, but I’d rather be terrified and doing something than terrified and stuck in the same looping nightmare.
Stepping forward, I move down the line of suitors, each one respectful as ever, not like the last ceremony. This one feels different, though. The energy of the men, their guards, and even just the atmosphere itself feels oppressive as my eyes meet the pleading gazes of those around me. I know that I am not the only one who is feeling the change.
The Lord of Vadon’s son, Wrensford Tavares, and then Faolan Damalis of Halcyon each accept the blessing, and when I turn to Cadoc, he gives me a warm and empathetic smile as he accepts the blessing.
“I want you to choose freely who you bless today, princess. Please don’t worry about the deal our fathers have placed on our behalf.” As I kiss his cheek and look at him out of the corner of my eye, he whispers. “Believe it or not, I would rather your affection be genuine rather than forced.”
“Thank you, Cadoc. I’ll remember that.” From what I know of Cadoc, he would be a fine suitor. Someone I may even be able to see myself with over time. His kindness does seem authentic, but I see the way he is with my father too. He wants to please us both indifferent ways. I think Cadoc would be too pliable to be under a man like my father. I don’t think his kindness is what this kingdom needs. We both would be used by our fathers and be nothing but mere puppets for continuing their reign of terror and unrest. Only we would havebothkingdoms to tend to.
“Prince Ruaan, it honors me that you should wish to fight for the chance of our betrothal. Your courage does not go unseen. If you should fall in the fight, I will pray that your ashes fly free and your soul not carry the burden of burning for eternity in Zameil.” I recite the same blessing crafted by the generations before me, and his lips curl into a close-lipped smile as he holds my hands between us. This time, he rubs the back of my hand with his thumbs. The scoring line of each pass creates tension in my shoulders as I think of the man behind me and not the one before me.
“Thank you, beautiful. Should you wish to give me your favor, I look forward to getting to know youpersonally.” His eyes sweep over my shoulder and hold a place there. The exact spot I know Kyros stands, and I can’t help but shift on my feet. A strange feeling gathers at the nape of my neck as I hone in on the challenge in Ruaan’s liquid gold eyes.
I clear my throat, looking down at my feet. Suddenly feeling anxious about deceiving all these men with the thought that they might get the chance to not only become king but also be able to claim me as theirs too. My gaze shifts back to Cadoc momentarily, and his kindness he exudes.Perhaps even my heart. But the more time I spend with them, the more I see a genuine interest in me, and their need for power over the kingdom comes to light too.Even if the two emotions are twisted together in a mess of rooted poisonous vines planted by my father. I chew my lip as the thought draws my brows together. All my life I’ve thought all men to be the same—power-hungry assholes who want nothing more than to dominate, jaded by the man who raised me and those he surrounds himself with—but I’m starting to realize that not everyone starts that way. Some men become hardened by the way that they’ve been raised, just as I have. But at some point, we have to decide when to break the mold. We have to decide what impression our decisions will leave in the sand.
As I step up to Mavros, he grins, offering me his hands, and it’s easy to genuinely smile back at him. Regardless of the way eyes cut over my face from onlookers. The way his energy always seems to brighten my mood when I’m in his presence makes me wonder what his magick is. He tilts his head as he catches me eyeing the shadowy tattoos that swirl around on his skin, just like Kyros has.
