Page 40 of Of Nightmares & Fire
I think about all the interactions I saw of him, with his men, with Mavros and Zinya… He might be an asshole, but I genuinely sense that he cares about people too. Something I can’t say at all about my father. I am his daughter, and he whips me and allows his men to abuse me too. My eyes finally meet Kyros’.
“My friend.” I tell him, lifting my chin, ready for him to try to cut me down.
“You are a very kind friend to keep such a thing for her in a place like this. When it could mean your life being forfeited just by possession of it.” He tilts his head, surveying my response. I can't help the way my mouth pops open in shock. I can't say anything else.
“Have you ever needed to use this?” He’s phishing. I can tell by the glint of curiosity I see in his eyes, and even though I have revealed truths to him, I’m not ready to revealthosetruths.
“You prepared a bath?” I deflect his question, and if he notices, he doesn’t say. He stands, stepping away from the edge of the tub, which brings him much closer to me after setting the balm down next to the basin of water in front of the mirror.
“It’s for you. I thought it would help you calm down after that experience.” My breath catches in my throat, and I flinch just enough that the hand that he had brought up to my cheek pauses before he touches me. My eyes close without thought, tears gathering behind my lashes.
Seconds pass where I know he’s watching me, but I’m frozen in place with fear. I don’t know if it is the lingering effect of the nightmare or the fact that I was assaulted so recently in this very space, but I couldn’t have his touch here. I couldn’t accept what he was possibly offering.
“I’ll be right outside. I'm not leaving you alone.” He whispers, and I nod without opening my eyes.
I don’t see him leave the bathing chamber, but I feel his powerful presence dissipate. The warmth from where his hand hovered just above my skin—gone.As much as I wanted his touch, I’m alsoterrified of these feelings he provokes in me. I'm terrified that he will see my scars, the flaws that are proof of my weaknesses; proof that I am just as unworthy of his attention as I am of the crown on my head.
With a heavy sigh, I undress and sink into the bath. The lingering panic from the nightmare is still present, but not like it usually is, and the even more bizarre part is the pounding in my head, or lack thereof. I keep my eyes open as I replay the events of the night and wake up with my room flooded with the most magnificently beautiful magick I couldn’t even conjure up in my dreams. I never even read of such magick. If I thought Kyros’ eyes were like the glittering black stone that the blades of Tsalalerian Steel were made of, they have nothing on the shadows that bled from his skin.
I curse under my breath as I step from the bath, realizing the only clothes I have in here are those drenched with sweat from the nightmare and left lying crumpled on the floor. Wrapping the bath towel that hangs on the hook around my body, I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is dripping, my cheeks are flushed, and dark circles that seem to always shadow under my eyes these days are ever present. I was calm for a second, but even thinking about walking from this room, knowing that Kyros is on the other side, makes my heart rate spike.
The room is dark when I step into it. Only the slight glow from the lantern I left in the bathing chamber and the moon's light illuminating the space. I expected to see Kyros sitting in one of the seating options in the room, but where I found him was least expected. His feet are planted on the floor, but he is laying on hisback in the center of my bed. I can see his chest rising and falling at a slow, even pace. The telltale sign of someone being fast asleep. My heart swells at the sight of him.
I look around, still wary of the monsters that are after me when I sleep, becoming much more real entities. Turning back and grabbing the lantern, I bring it to the vanity and turn the knob on the side to its lowest flame. The armoire door creaks when I open it, earning a wince from me. Kyros must have used a lot of energy expelling his magick and likely saving me from great pain, just like last time. I owe him some restful sleep if nothing else.
I pull a dark-colored nightdress from the interior drawer and duck behind my dressing screen in the corner of the room and slip the lightweight fabric over my head. I check the lock on my door, extinguish the flame on the lantern, and pad over to the bed where Kyros rests.
This may be one of the biggest mistakes of my life, but something is telling me it won't be the last, and for that I am grateful. Bending down, I slowly unlace Kyros’ boots. Surprisingly, he doesn’t budge, even when I struggle a bit to pull his boots from his feet and lift his heavy legs up onto the bed. When I finally finish getting him into what looks like amostlyrestful position on my bed, I am panting and have broken a bit of a sweat again.
Looking down at the giant man sleeping in my bed, I laugh lightly at what I just did and everything that has come to light tonight, feeling a bit of the nervous energy return. I don’t see how this can't change things between us. We have each other's secrets, both of which could mean our deaths in a kingdom like Eathianunder the rule of its vicious king—my father. I stand there staring for what could be a long, embarrassing amount of time before Kyros stirs for the first time.
“Lay down and sleep, Shula. We will face what comes next in the morning.” His grunting sentence comes out muffled as I attempt to decipher his words with a frown. Understanding hits when he pulls the blankets back, indicating for me to get into the bed—with him.
“I will sleep on the lounge.” I say, turning away toward it, but as I do, his hand scorches where it wraps lightly around my wrist, halting my retreat.
“Now, Shula. Lay. Down.” Even though his words are demanding, his grip is loose, and while I stand there hesitating, his thumb scores lines on the inside of my wrist and sends that same heat elsewhere through my body. Swallowing hard, I nod, and he drops my wrist as I move to the other side of the bed and get under the covers.
I lay as stiff as a sword on my back, but he has turned to lay on his side. I feel when he opens his eyes and they train on the side of my face.
“You will need to relax if you ever intend to sleep,” he whispers, and the sound of his voice and the proximity of which he lays next to me cause my heart to take up a furious rhythm as it pounds like a drum in my chest.
“I don’t think sleep is a good idea after everything.” I say just as quietly.
“Are you afraid of the nightmare returning?”
How do I tell him I'm afraid of everything? I’m afraid of the future, the past, the present, and everything that lies between. I fear for the kingdom, its people, and what it will mean if I allow him any further under my skin.
“I am always afraid of what the future holds.” I finally admit.
“That’s not an answer I would expect to come from the princess of one of the most powerful kingdoms.” He says as he too rolls to lay on his back. “Where I come from, we have something that can help with warding off those who seek us in the shadows of sleep.” Both of our hands lay at our sides, and as I close my eyes, I feel his little finger brush mine. I don’t move. “I won’t let you be hurt anymore. Sleep, Shula. Dream of a future you do not fear.” And with those words dancing through my mind, I drift into the abyss of sleep.
Chapter twenty-nine
Kyros
Exhaustionclawsatmymind, even as I try to pry myself from sleep. A weight on my chest gathers my attention there. When I finally am able to crack my eyes open, I realize the weight I feel pressing down on me is a fast-asleep princess with her black waves of hair blanketing me. I take a deep breath, but it’s the wrong choice. Her scent, warm and sweet like a drink on a summer night, fills my senses and causes more of my body to wake too.
Think of anything else.
