Page 32 of Of Nightmares & Fire
“I—I’m okay.” I manage to say on broken breaths. Each word is a little hard to push out over my frantic crying, but I continue. “It was d-different this t-time, C-Cole. I f-felt someone;somethingwas there with me. I still feel the pain.” Cole shuffles on the bed and reaches for my candelabra on the bedside table. She strikes a match and lights the wick, illuminating her face in a halo of golden light.
“Do you want to talk about it this time?” She asks hesitantly as she comes to sit next to me but then gasps. She pulls me urgently at the shoulder so my body twists away from her, and she can see my back. Pain slices through me with the motion. “Great Divine! You’re bleeding, Astraea! A lot.” Achingly, I try to turn my head to look over my shoulder at what she is seeing, but I don’t have to see it to know what she's talking about. I can still feel the pain from the attack in my nightmare.
“I don’t understand.” I say, as a deep frown pulls down on Colette’s delicate features.This can’t be.
“We need to get you to see a healer.” She shakes her head with concern.
“You were here, Cole. No one else was in this room.” She stares blankly at me for a moment. Bewilderment builds with the thoughts clearly racing through her mind, and then she understands what I'm saying.
“I didn’t do this! You can’t possibly think I did?!” She exclaims. I have to scrunch my eyes up as her loud voice slices through mybrain. The pain from my back only becomes a nuisance to the pain that is throbbing to life behind my eyes.
“No, I know it wasn’t you.” I shake my head and try to breathe in a long breath before continuing, “We can't go to a healer. On my vanity. The balm.” I manage to choke out the words without breaking them to pieces. She rushes over, knocking down perfumes and tonics I had sitting out for my skin and hair. They go crashing to the ground, some of them shattering on the marble floor. She is just as panicked as I am, but instead of my stunned silence—she is frantic. She finally finds the tin in the back of the hidden drawer between the top of the vanity and the mirror hanging on the wall.
Hurrying across the room to my bathing chamber, she comes back with a bowl and cloth. She doesn’t have her normal cleaning solution, so she has settled with water from the basin. It's not warm, but the coolness is welcomed on my inflamed and bleeding skin as she presses it to my back.
“Oh, Astraea, this is bad.” She doesn’t even try to pacify me into thinking it's better than it seems. “I don’t know if the balm—”
“It helped your wounds.” I bite out, and she snaps her mouth shut with a nod. She continues cleaning the wounds as best she can. Silently, then with two fingers, she places the balm around the edges of the jagged cuts created by the shadowy nightmare claws. The warming sensation immediately brings a sense of relief. I take a deep breath as she continues to wipe it over the wounds. I don’t know what I would do without the aid of this balm. Would my own father string me up for heresy if I showed up with injuries thathappened in a nightmare? Or would he blame Colette? I know the answer as soon as I think about it.He will not know of this.I won't let any more harm come to her.
“It's working.” She says, the relief in her eyes mirroring my own. But it's short-lived as a knock comes on my door. Our eyes snap to each other and then to the mess of bloody cloth and red-tinged bowl of water. She scurries out of the bed and rushes to remove all the evidence as I push myself to stand and grab the bathrobe that is lying over my chaise.
“Princess Astraea?” The knock sounds again just as Colette whips the door open and smiles at the guard on the other side. She opens the door wide enough that he can see me too, and his eyes narrow on both of us. I don’t know this man's name, but I know that he must be expendable to be on my guard. My father is just waiting for me to mess up. I'm sure once I do, it will be his head next decorating our gates.
A pang of sorrow drops heavy in my stomach as I think of it. He could be a son, a father, or a husband, and because of me, he could already be a dead man walking. Stepping closer, I look into his yellow hazel eyes. He looks kind. Too kind to be in the king’s guard… then my eyes track down, and I notice his armor, or rather, lack thereof.
“Who are you?” I ask, and he coughs, taken aback by my abrupt questioning.
“My name is Viltarin,” his head bows low, “of Diemos.” He finishes, and my eyes widen as they search the hall for my father’smen, who are nowhere to be found. My lips part as I take a step back.
“Why are you here, Viltarin?” I ask warily.
“Your guards,” he clears his throat, “excuse my lack of a better term, are—shit.” He says, shifting on his feet uncomfortably. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Colette rolling her lips between her teeth to hold in a laugh. She's been saying the same thing for years. With the exception of a few, those are now a head shorter and no longer around, though. “I was tasked to keep an eye on them, and if ever they left you unattended, I was to watch guard. You were never meant to know, but I heard the commotion, and well, I needed to make sure that you were okay.” He looks me down and then peers over my shoulder. Cole steps into his view then, and he blinks.
“It was only a nightmare. I’m sorry to blow your cover over something so inconsequential. Please send my regards to whichever brother it was who sent you…” I eye him for a moment longer, and I start to close the door when it's clear he isn't going to tell me which brother it was.
“I’m sorry, Princess. I hope your rest is unbothered for the remainder of the morning.” With vexation, I let the door snap closed between us.
“Do you think he saw anything?” Cole asks, and I shake my head. I don’t think he did, but something tells me that even if he did, he wouldn’t go back to my father with the information.
Morning has come too soon, but regardless of the little sleep I got, my father’s show must go on. Colette has been once again tasked to stay at my side. Thankfully, my father restored her as my help without question. She is exhausted too after our eventful early morning. I see it in the dark shadows under her eyes, but she helped me dress and get ready early in the morning, just hours after the nightmare, right as the sun began cresting the horizon.
“Do you know what to expect?” She asks quietly as we both approach the door to the main dining room.
“The worst?” I muse, though the humor is lost with everything that has happened as of late. “Just whatever you do, keep your head down. I don’t want any attention brought to you,” I tell her.
“You need to heed your own warning.” She says, pursing her lips.
“Let me worry about myself. I know how far I can push things. You can't push at all.” With that, she relents with a nod and pushes the door open. The court master announces my arrival loudly, making me wince. The aching behind my eyes is still ever present, but the entire room grows silent. All conversation becomes hushed as chairs protest loudly on the stone floor, and everyone stands in unison at my entrance.Great, I’m late.
Breakfast is not like the lavish dinners my father hosts. The formal dining room is much smaller in comparison to the great hall. All the back windows along the large room open to a balcony much like the library. The thought makes my eyes search for Kyrosautomatically. The light champagne dress I wear flutters the same as the white sheer curtains that hang along the long wall of open air. I’m grateful for the cool breeze. It’s not every day we are blessed with one, and sometimes the desert air can be scorching without it.
None of the other people from dinner were invited to be guests for breakfast. This is only for me, my father and his trusted, the suitors, and theirs. I catch sight of Zinya standing just beyond the sheer curtains, on the balcony. Her blonde pleats in place as though she is going to war, and the same can be said for her attire. Fully suited, just as she wanted me back at the tavern. I smile just a fraction at her, and she nods just as imperceptibly.
Cole hurries off to help the dining staff after escorting me to my chair. Kyros and Mavros stand in front of their chairs with multiple bodies between them. While Mavros is far off to the side, Kyros stands directly in front of me and my father at my side. I felt his gaze on me as soon as I walked in the room, and it has yet to leave me, even after my father clears his throat with annoyance.
“Thank you all for coming to breakfast today!” He exclaims excitedly.Like they had a choice…“Sit now, let us eat!” My eyes wander down the line of guests who fill the table. Most of them are staring past me to my father, but when I reach Mavros, he gives me his wink, causing a blush to heat my cheeks. Shaking my head, I take a deep breath as I look down at my plate and release it as my father places a hand on my shoulder. “As you all know, I will be announcing the next event, but first I would like to celebrate an official first win and private courting with one of the heirs ofDiemos.” My father raises a glass in Kyros’ direction, and I almost miss the sneer Kyros pins him with before he smiles just as fake as my father and lifts his own glass in return.
“To new beginnings,” Kyros says, the smile on his face turning nefarious as he keeps it on my father.
