Page 2 of Of Nightmares & Fire
“There are many suitors who’ve petitioned an audience. Things take more time when courting a princess. They will court in groups. The first group is set to arrive tomorrow. All, of course, will be staying in the castle. We will have dinners nightly, with entertainment, and during the day there will be one-on-one—”
“I know how courting works, father.” My vexation winning the battle of wills inside me, the words burst from my lips before I can think better of it. His goblet slams to the table, the red liquid sloshing out and staining the light table covering, and everyone in the room flinches. Our eyes collide as malice enters his dark brown gaze, but he says nothing. The chair loudly protests on the wood floor as he stands from his seat, and everyone in the room is frozen.
“Leave us,” he says with a terror-inducing even tone, keeping his gaze locked with mine. When no one makes a move, theirfeet rooted in fear, his voice echoes, bouncing off every surface, “LEAVE US!”
I see Colette behind my father pause, and I hold my breath, hoping that she just does as she’s told and leaves us to speak alone. One of the guards notices her hesitation and gives her an eager nudge in the direction of the door, and I make a mental note to thank him personally for saving her life.
When the door clunks shut and we are left alone, he turns his back on me, crossing the room to one of the arched windows along the wall. He stands there a moment, unmoving like a statue carved from solid stone, and I begin to wring my hands in my lap as I wait with trepidation.
“I’m sorry,”
“Ah-ah, Astraea. Apologizing is forweakwomen.Youwill not be weak. Have your lessons not taught you anything?” He asks, his tone patronizing and low as he turns back around to face me. It’s then that I finally see what he was doing. The leather band that held the curtains back is resting across his palms. He slowly tracks his eyes up from the strap to my resilient gaze. “Perhaps it’s been too long…turn around, sweet daughter, and drop that lovely dress.” I swallow the bile trying to rise in my throat and do as he says. Standing, I reach back, unbuttoning the top of my dress. At the same time, I turn away from him and let the fabric fall to my waist, where I hold it with one arm to my chest.
The first crack of the leather always stings the most, causing me to suck in a sharp breath. The second takes my breath away. The third makes me choke on the sob that tries to escape, but I do as hewishes. I stay silent, feigning strength, and as the silent tears fall, I promise myself this will be the last.
Chapter two
Astraea
Colettedipsthewhitecloth into the bowl on the side table as I lay on my stomach on the settee. I bury my face into the pillow to attempt to hide my cries of pain as she cleans the wounds. They aren’t nearly as bad this time as they have been before. As she lays the lavender-scented solution onto my back, I hiss as the cold healing tonic makes contact.
“Shhh, I know it hurts, but you know if he catches us, he will be inclined to serve punishment to you again and likely kill me for spite.” I bite down on my silk pillow as she continues to gingerly clean the wounds. She’s right; my father was a cruel man and has only become an even more cruel king—the longer he sits on the throne, the worse he becomes. While many see his rule as powerful and ironclad, I see him for what he is.Scared of losing it all.That’swhy he punishes anyone who speaks out of turn, anyone who defies his laws, and most of all, anyone who is deemed to possess any inkling of the magick that used to flourish in this kingdom.
“Thank you for taking care of me.” The pillow muffles my words.
“What are you going to do?” Her question takes me by surprise, and I turn my head, removing my face from where it was burrowed into the pillow. I stare at her through swollen eyes.
“What do you mean?” I ask, looking away when I see the concern she is pinning me with.
“I saw the look on your face when you came out of the dining hall. I know you. That look in your eyes was determination. Like the time you were punished for attempting to climb the tree in the courtyard only to make it halfway and be snatched down by a guard.” The corner of my mouth tugs up the smallest amount at the memory. “You had the same look in your eyes then, when you were just ten years old. You were determined to climb up that tree because you were told you couldn’t. Do you remember what you told me?”
“If I’m going to pay the price, I may as well earn the prize.” My smirk now widens to a full smile. “This is why I love you.”
“So are you going to tell me?” She persists, and my smile falls. I want to tell her it’s something trivial like climbing a tree or staying out past dark, but the truth is, this could affect us both. So I need her to understand that I can’t tell her my plans, not in full anyway. I don’t want to risk her life. I won’t. Tears fill my eyes as I move to a sitting position. Colette helps me, holding one hand, and guidesme up so I don’t brush my back on anything. When I’m sitting upright, my front covered with a blanket, I meet her pale green eyes.
“You’re leaving.” It’s not a question, not really. She sees the answer without my spoken words. She can see the truth in my eyes, and I hate the heartbreak I see in hers. Tears blot out my vision, and I blink them away before standing and placing a dark slip over my head. Even the softest of fabric, fit for a princess, rubs across the wounds painfully.
“I love you, Colette. You are more than a best friend to me. You have been like a sister.”
“Stop.” Her tone is firm even though the word is whispered, for our privacy, and I turn around to face her once again. “Don’t say anything else. I don’t need to know the details. Just know that I am here for you if you ever need me. You know how to call for me. Just as we did as kids. It’s better to face your chances out there than it is for you to die slowly here.” My mouth curls up in a tight-lipped smile, more grief than happiness in it, causing the tears to spill and mark the gray stone floor.
“Like a moth drawn to a flame,” I whisper in her ear as I pull her into a hug. She’s careful not to touch my wounded back, but the pain has already begun dissipating from the healing bath she gave it. I place my hand on the back of her head. Her red hair is down, and I bury my nose in it as I hug her tightly. The smell of earth and sweet jasmine fills my nose, and I do everything I can to imprint it into my mind. There is no one I will miss more than Colette.
“We will dance in the heat or burn in the flame, but either way, together we stay.” She says in answer. The line we have told each other from the beginning. Only this time, we won’t be together. Not physically, anyway.
With one more look into my eyes, her bottom lip wobbles before she slowly leans in and kisses my cheek. She moves to walk away but looks down at her hands, which grip my forearms. Her fingers blanched with how tightly she’s holding on. The tears that have been building in her eyes gently cascade down her heavily freckled face before she swipes them away and rushes from the room. Leaving me alone in the dimly lit bedchamber with only the pain of losing one of the only people I have close enough to love.
Leaving me alone to plan either the end or the beginning of my life.
While my father is a smart man, he is also a creature of habit. So I know when I pull the heavy door to my chamber open, it will be Aeron standing guard at night. The older gentleman is already fast asleep in the chair to my left, his head tipped back and jaw slack, and his soft snores fill the empty hallway.
Ever so slowly, I pull the door shut behind me. When it creaks loudly, Aeron’s mouth shuts, stopping his snoring and plunging me into silence. My face scrunches up as I wait on bated breath. Iblink slowly and release my breath when his mouth falls open once more and the first rumbling snore echoes through the hall.
Holding my boots in one hand and my satchel in the other, I pad down the corridor toward the staff stairwell. I know it’s not likely any of them will be up and walking around at this hour, but guards will surely be on the main stairs. The entrance is covered by a tapestry with my mother’s image on it; as I pull it back, it almost appears that she is nodding down at me, giving me her approval. I have to think that she would be proud of me for choosing this. Choosing to run away from the man who ruins so many lives.The man who took hers.Letting the heavy fabric fall behind me sends me into complete darkness, and I curse under my breath at myself for forgetting a lantern. I can’t turn back now.
I continue my descent, quietly and meticulously, with my forearm as my guide. I let it rub along the rough stone wall to lead me to my destination. A flicker of light at the end of the stairs and a shadow moving in the room at the doorway causes my feet to falter, and I miss a step.
“Shit.” The word is only a whisper as I catch myself on the wall, but it is loud enough in the quiet room that the person the shadow belongs to darkens the doorway with their body.
