Page 44 of Eclipse of Fate
“Clean up this mess, then get out.” Thames orders. He complies, immediately leaving the room for only a moment and coming back with a bucket and mop. He makes quick work of it, his head down. But before he leaves, he eyes me one last time with that look of fucking concern before closing the door. Trapping me once again in the room with only Thames.
“If you’re done being weak, come over here, and we can get started.” Anger fills my chest, and my brows furrow. My jaw ticks in time with the beat of my heart as I work up the physical strength to do as she says. I know what they are doing. Thames has been working at it for weeks, making me dependent on this magic. The withdrawals are gods awful, but the release when I get that power coursing through my veins? It’s something entirely different.
Letting my feet fall to the floor, I curse when the bare pads touch the stone floor, the chill hitting me immediately. Slowly, I push myself from the mattress and stand. I cross the small space. My movements jerky and small as I stay hunched over, clenching my stomach. I make it to the wooden chair next to the table she works at, dropping down into it heavily. With a sigh, I close my eyes in anticipation for what’s to come. The whispered words, which I’ve come to relish hearing over the last few weeks, begin to calm my nerves. When the scent of sulfur makes its way to my nose, I finally let my eyes open because I know relief is being delivered.
The tendrils of shadow magic swirl and bleed through her hands as she does her spell. The murky darkness is spilling out and reaching for me, as ink bleeds when it's spilled onto parchment. As soon as it caresses my skin, wrapping me in its embrace, the pain disappears entirely. My mind becomes clear for a split second. Thatone moment in time is the only clarity I get most days. When I think about what is being done to me and regret what I’ve become.
The color is wrong; the darkness tinged with a hue of green. It’s not at all like Dax’s shadows at all. These are evil. A pungent poison, seeping into my soul and at my father’s command. Regret bites at my subconscious, but in these moments when my brain is my own, it actually hurts. The singular pause in my thoughts has gone too fast for me to care too much about it when pure elation takes over my senses next. Raw power ripples through my every pore and seeps into my weak muscles—healing and rotting at the same time.
“Mmmm…” I moan as my body melts into the chair, and a high unlike anything else, a high of dark power weighs me down with the relief of having it coursing through me.
“That’s right, Cano. Relish in the power. If you behave, you may even be released in time to witness what your father has planned.” Her voice is low as she bends down to whisper the words to me. Her sickly sweet floral scent chokes me as it mixes with the sulfuric acid that is this magic. She has grown more lax since I’ve been held under their control. I’ve gotten glimpses into the shadows of her cloak. Wavy hair, though I’m not sure what color, an angular chin, but just now I get a peek as I look at her through the corner of my eye, at the painted lips that spews the evil she so eloquently speaks. So badly, do I want to reach out and throw the hood back. Grab her shoulders and pull her face down to my knee.
When I hear the door click shut, I blink out of my reverie and notice that I am once again alone with only the reeking shadows pulsing within my system. The power calms my mind and eases all the pain and sickness. I know it's only temporary, though, because if she waits days again, I will be back in the same fetal position Iwas in moments ago. Wishing I was dead and racked with the pain of knowing I did this to myself.
I lay back onto the damp mattress, my arm under my head, more relaxed than I've been in days, and I finally close my eyes and sleep takes me.
Blood drips from my back. The lashing I received last time only just healed; now reopened and seeping. My father paces behind me. I can nearly hear his teeth grinding into nothing as he seethes. I can never do anything right. I dropped my wooden blade in a sparring match with Maki today. He learned a new maneuver and caught me off guard. I anticipated his usual moves, and it caused me to lose the match. My father was there to witness it. The embarrassment I caused him—deems me worthy of a punishment.
The crack of his belt echoes inside my brain as it comes down again on my back. Sending me forward, my palms bite the wood floor as I fall onto them. Blood drips down the back of my arms and pools at my wrists, where they meet the wood. My palms leave red stains where they land.
“Back on your knees!” My father’s voice booms from behind me, and as soon as I’m back upright, the belt comes down again. Bloodsplattering the light wood below me, adding to the mess. I try to pull strength into my body, but my muscles twitch as they try to hold me steady. He won’t stop, not until I take my punishment without reaction. Three more lashes strike across the marred flesh of my back, before I’m numb enough not to react.
He’s breathing heavily, and I feel his dark aura leave the room, but I stay there. On my knees, waiting. As soon as the door slams and his footsteps fade down the hall—I finally allow myself to slump to the ground, and I let the emotion flood me. Silently, I let the tears fall. It’s my tenth birthday, but birthdays don’t mean anything to my father. Especially not when you’ve brought weakness to the Croix name.
I must have passed out because I wake up to my older brother lifting me. He’s careful not to jar me too much, but the hurt is still there. The skin on my back will remain painful and tight. as it slowly heals. I haven’t ascended yet, my magic still slow.
Father never came back to my room.
“Gabe?” My voice is raspy, and my face hurts too as I scrunch it up as he lays me on my side on the bed.
“Yeah buddy. It’s Gabriel. Be quiet, ok? I’ll be whipped next if he finds me in here helping you.” I don’t dare speak again while my older brother tends to the wounds on my back. Even my mother doesn’t dare do anything like this. He smooths a salve onto the broken skin; the glide of his fingers hurts even as he’s being delicate with his movements. They earn a hiss of pain from me, but it’s nothing in comparison to what I’ve endured at my father’s hands.
“I don’t know why father insists on teaching you this way,” I feel him shaking his head behind me. I know what he's thinking. He doesn’t hit any of my brothers or sisters. Only me. My eyes burn as my body tries to make more tears, but they are dry and unwillingto give me any. I blink hard, then shift my head to the side, looking my brother in the face.
“Thank you, Gabe.” The look on my face must say something more than my words, because my brother, who is kind but harsh and tough, looks at me with a sadness that I’ve never seen him show. His lips purse into a hard smile as he stands. His brows pucker as he looks down at me.
“Don’t thank me, Cano. Make me a promise. One day, show the world that there is more to the Croix line than just a bunch of ruthless assholes. It’s too late for the rest of us, but you—you’re young still—have your whole life ahead of you. I see the heart you have. I think that’s why Father is so hard on you…Because he sees it too. He wants to break that. Because once he does, he knows that you will be his legacy, because your heart is what makes you more powerful than the rest of us… once he owns that…” He shakes his head, and my face bunches up in confusion. I don’t understand what he’s saying.
Gabriel palms the salve and clenches his fist around it before turning on his heel and opening the door. He takes one last look at me before closing it softly behind him. I lay in bed for hours without sleep. All I can think about is what he said to me and how I think it’s already too late—I am broken in every way I can think of. Gabe doesn’t need to worry about my heart. I’m broken, and I have no heart left because he’s taken my soul, and no heart can live within a body without a soul.
Chapter thirty-eight
The dining room fallssilent as Dax and I enter. All of our family and friends stand, showing us respect as king and queen. It’s the first time we’ve been addressed so obviously, and I feel a flush rising into my cheeks with the attention. Dax places his hand on the small of my back, silently supporting my ever-growing anxiety. There are two chairs at the head of the massive table now, and Dax pulls one out for me before he sits. Once we are seated, everyone else takes their own.
Alaric kicks my foot under the table, bringing my attention to him. When I finally make eye contact, he gives me a wink. Cursing under my breath, I swivel in my chair to face Dax. My eyes are widewith worry. In the chaos of our… moment together, I completely spaced telling Dax about Alaric being his cousin. I’m just about to whisper to him when Alaric opens his mouth, and I scrunch my face up, closing my eyes tight, waiting for the catastrophe to happen.
“So, let’s hear it. What are your thoughts about adding a new Ravendene to the family?” And there it is. Dax’s head snaps to Alaric and then to me. I’m grimacing and can only manage to keep one eye open; the anxiety of this whole situation is too much to bear.
“What is he talking about, Raelle?” Dax whispers for only me, but the look on his face is confusing me. He looks pale. His features pinched, panic flaring in his eyes. “You’repregnant?” He whispers again.
“What? No!” My voice is loud in comparison; the shock of the question causes my pulse to raise with my voice. Oh gods, this isnothappening. Trent chuckles, but Alaric is the one who is full-on cackling with his head tipped back. Kait’s lips are rolled into a line, and Ambriel’s hand has come to cover her mouth. Each one of them laughing at my expense. Even Maki has barely controlled composure. Well, I did just think about how I don’t want them treating me any differently…
“I guess you guys were toobusyto talk…” Trent laughs.
“You really think your mate would tell me if she were pregnant before you? I think you need to work on your trust issues.” Alaric says between gasping laughs. His grin is the widest at the table; the last part under his breath, but Dax hears it, and the growl that comes from him is otherworldly. The room quiets, and I place my hand over his that he’s slammed onto the table.
“Alaric is your cousin, Dax. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I take the elixir that prevents unwanted pregnancy, Dax. It’s no time to bring a baby into this mess of a life we have right now.” His eyes flick back and forth between mine, his face indecipherable, but the tick in his jaw and the hum of my magic tells me that he is pissed and possibly hurt. That can't be right…
