Page 4 of Eclipse of Fate
There is no use. The world is darker knowing she is gone.
Heat rises into my cheeks as another Fae passes by. The pity that she pins me with is like a vise on my chest. My skin vibrates as anger begins to overcome the pain. The emotion is something I’ve grown familiar with. I’m accustomed to pushing it into the world, and it’s what comes naturally to me. I’ve been trying, for Raelle’s sake, to be a better man, but when she is not around, I find it difficult to keep it up, and after the loss of Ella, it’s nearly impossible.
“Dax, I'm sorry for your loss.” A sickly sweet voice pierces my eardrums and I cringe inwardly as I turn to face her.
“Vi—I didn’t know you had returned.” She steps close, putting her hand on my forearm where I’ve crossed them over my chest, and I peer down at it, then back up to meet her gaze.
“I didn't make it far when a group of Fae came quickly to our carriage, telling us of the horrible things that had happened here. I couldn't just keep going. I had to know that you were okay.” She inches forward, her eyes glistening with moisture. As though she is capable of emotions other than jealous rage. Her throat bobs, and her eyes flick to my lips and back to my eyes. “I heard about Ella,”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I snap at her, dropping my arms. Her hand slides down my stomach, and I take a step back. Trying to put distance between us. She advances forward, trying once again to get close to me, and I shake my head. “Vi. Do you have somewhere to be?” Her tongue rolls out over her bottom lip as her eyes get heavy as she pouts, looking up at me.
“Dax, you used to seek me out when you were feeling down.” She steps forward again, backing me against a wall. “Kings take other women to their beds all the time. I can see the tension in youreyes and your shoulders.” Her hand comes up, gripping the base of my neck at my shoulder and squeezing. My opposite hand comes up between our bodies, clasping around her wrist.
“I will not—bethatsort of king.” I grind out the words through my teeth, squeezing her wrist harder, and a painful whine comes from her before I let go and sidestep, once again putting distance between us. “I think you will find my warning much more civil than that of mywifeand your queen. Perhaps you heed it.” Although her eyes narrow, I don't wait for her response and storm away before I do something else I may come to regret.
I’m not even sure where I was headed, but my feet pound under me and echo through the halls of the castle. Before long, I find myself standing at the tall double doors that lead to the Loema treasury. My brows gather in the center of my forehead as I consider walking through the dark, intricately carved wood entry that stands between me and the memories I know I need to face. I’m sure a day like today is probably not the best idea to stir up the emotions of the past.
Considering the angry outburst I just had with Vi, I know that my head is in a hurricane of emotions. And the things that are on the other side are the many reminders of how horribly I have failed in this lifetime. I take a deep breath through my nose, feeling my lungs fill with air, my chest rising as I close my eyes and rest my head on the cool surface, and I blow out the breath through my mouth. The silence in this part of the castle makes my pulse sound like thunder in my ears as my heartbeat ramps up in anticipation of what I’m going to face—when I step into the memory of a life once lived.
A shiver rolls down my spine as my hand wraps around the cold metal of the ornate gold handle. A ripple of magic brushes overme as the door opens. The locking ward allows me into the room with no issues because of who I am. The blood I carry. The magic I don’t deserve to wield.
I’m not sure what I expect to find here, only that I was drawn to come. Most of my parent’s prized possessions are kept in one of the rooms held in this tomb. As I cross the white tiled floor, Maki’s taste for expensive things is clear. The walls are lined with exquisite artwork and weapons that are equally unique and beautifully displayed. The further I edge into the space, the more luxurious things become. Barrels of coins sit on the floor bordering the large room, each one filled to the brim. About halfway through the room, my magic pulses, and I stop turning to one of the doors to my left. There are three along this wall, one of which will lead me to my parent’s belongings, and my magic continues to press forward.
I shouldn’t be here. My brow deepens further as I consider turning around and leaving altogether. Looking back at the distance I’ve crossed since I left the hallway, I shake my head, dispelling the thought. Something is leading me to be here. Taking another steadying breath, I step through the door closest to me. It’s a small room with no windows or light, not like the large center room that holds all of Maki’s ostentatious collectibles. The magic stays present in that room—keeping it lit. This room is a dark corner where things go to be forgotten. Where mistakes are left to hide. Using my fire magic, I bring the sconces to life, one on each of the four walls, bringing the room to life in an eerie orange glow.
I blink slowly, allowing my eyes to adjust to the low light. They are instantly drawn to the back of the room, where a chair is covered in a thick cream canvas. I know what I’m going to see when I lift the covering; the deep cherry wood and black velvet upholstery is the same as I remember. Time has not changed asingle object in this room. I can still smell my father lingering on the fabric of the chair. The scent of bourbon and spice clings to it from his daily use of the furniture. Each item here is preserved by magic, preserved like beacons of regret. The only reason I keep any of this shit here is because I couldn't heart getting rid of it, and yet, I couldn't stomach seeing it. One at a time, my eyes track the room to the different objects. Each one causes a different memory to surface.
The dresses Ma made hang in one corner, the beaded bodices gleaming in the low light. I can almost picture her needling the beadwork still. She would work for hours sometimes. I swallow hard when I see Pop's ashtray and a matching decanter and crystal set from his study. Stress builds to the point of pain, and I rub the almost permanent crease between my eyes, smoothing it as I try to relieve the pressure in my head.
“I thought you might be in here.” Trent’s voice startles me, but I don’t turn. I’m not sure I can see the look of pain in his eyes again. I’m not sure I can face the failure I feel when I look at my only sibling—the only immediate family I have left. Closing my eyes, my chest rises on a deep inhale. The scent of the room makes me feel as though my father is standing right in front of me. I can almost see the look of disappointment on his face. My brother’s hand lands on my shoulder, and a firm squeeze makes me open my eyes and turn toward him.
“I ran into Vi—she was pretty upset by something that just happened with you. You know, Dax, it’s not your burden to carry alone. We all just want to help. Plus—I’m the one who sent her out on her own. I’m the one who stupidly thought that she would make it to safety on her own. I’m the one who failed her, Dax. Me.”
“Vi—” I scoff. “She was way out of line. Don't even bring her up to me right now. And as for everything else? You don’t get to do that, Trent. None of this is your fault. It’s mine and you know it as well as I do…So does everyone else.”
“You don't get to tell me what to do, Dax. It’s been a long time since I needed big brother to tell me what to do. This is my godsdamned fault!” I grit my teeth as he yells, his face reddening with the anger in him. His temper has always been known to get the best of him. “But you know what? You are right in a sense…” He takes a step closer. “If you had just done what you were supposed to when Ma and Pa died, none of this would have happened!” He bellows as tears well in his eyes. The anger and resentment that I see in him is like looking at a reflection of my younger self. When I was so angry at the gods for giving me the power I hold. The power I’ve hidden since it took my parents from me.
People think they know of the power I hold, but in reality, they have no idea. The flames I wield are nothing compared to the torrent of darkness that lives under my skin. Trent is different from me, though. He would have done the right thing no matter if he had the same reasons, the same magic I hide. He is good at his very core and deserves more than what this cruel life has handed him. I was born of shadows and fated for ruin, and now that fate is bound to more than just me, it’s also tied to her.
I look past him, at all of the reminders of the family I ruined and of Raelle, and wonder how I have changed her life. Now that she is fully mated to someone who is destined tobethe darkness in the world. There has to be a better fate that could have played out for her. She doesn't deserve evil lurking over her like mine. The thought causes the anger in me to the brim, and I squeeze my hands into fists to stifle the tremor that is threatening to shake them.
“You don’t think I know that, Trent?” I pivot, looking back to my father’s chair. The desk he always sat at behind it. Everything in me boils to the surface as I imagine my father sitting there watching my brother and I argue. Trent notices where my attention has drifted to and scoffs, walking past me closer to the desk and rounds on me, bringing his face only a foot from mine.
“He would hate the way we handled things when they died.” He says through clenched teeth, his warm breath hitting me in the face. My eyes narrow to slits as I stare at him.
“You mean the way thatIhandled things? SinceIwas the one of age tohandleanything?” His silence is agreement enough. The anger I've tried so hard to hold back wins as I bellow at my kid brother. “Say it, Trent! Say whatever it is you wish to fucking say. Don’t stop running your mouth now!”
“Pop would see what you did as a disappointment, Dax. You did the wrong thing, and we all know it! All of Ravendene knows it! Cano wasn’t meant to have the power he did, and Melani lost her life because of it!” There it is. The truth burns through me like kindling. Hot and fast.
My arm snaps forward seemingly on its own accord. Before he can even register that I’ve moved, my fist slams into the center of his face and bone cracks. Blood pisses from his nose, and as he moves to cover it with his hand, I swing again. This time, landing a hit to his stomach. He doubles over, groaning from the pain. My hits don’t stop as rage overwhelms me, and my vision goes black as I jerk my knee up into his face this time. I don't know how many times I land hits on him. My fist is covered in the blood of my own brother, and disappointment is so strong it makes me feel weak at the knees before I rearback again.
“I know I’m a godsdamn disappointment, Trent!” I hit him again, “But the old man isn’t here anymore, is he? He’s dead.” I spit the words, panting as I look down at the only sibling I have left. “I don’t need you to tell me what he would or wouldn’t be. He’s just as dead as Ma and now Ella. You don’t even know half of the disappointment I feel in myself for what happened to all of them––the regret, the pain!” A growl rips from my throat as I drop my shoulder and charge my brother. I barrel into him, slamming hard into his chest. We go down, crashing into our father’s desk, and the wood splinters and collapses under our combined weight. He lands multiple blows to my face and body in our scuffle, but they are nothing in comparison to what I've delivered to him. I hold him there in a headlock until we are both panting with exhaustion. I feel the shift of my raven coming over me, and before it does, I grunt—pushing him away and standing. He stays in a heap at my feet.
“I’m sorry that fate dealt you with such a fucked up disappointment of a life, with an equally fucked up piece of shit brother, Trent. I truly am, but I’m more sorry for the man I’m about to become, because none of you have seen anything yet.” The words come out on ragged breaths as I look down my nose at him.
Turning from the mess we made of my father’s desk, I storm from the room, slamming the door behind me. Leaving Trent bleeding in the room full of reminders of those I loved more than anything in this world.
Nothing but reminders of everything that could have been and everything I ruined.
