Page 25 of Eclipse of Fate
Trent has been reading tirelessly about mating bonds and has yet to find anything substantial about royal bonds or fully completed bonds. Unfortunately, most of the information about the royal magic was destroyed, along with the palace, when the kingdom fell. It’s hard to be a queen when your kingdom is broken and thepalace no longer exists. Not only that, but I have an evil working against me at every opportunity.
For now, I’ve made my residency in Loema within Maki’s castle. He has been a welcoming and gracious Lord. I stay in the same room where Dax and I completed our bonding ceremony. In a way, it makes me feel just that much closer to him, bringing me some semblance of comfort.
I don’t feel right about announcing my birth right over the kingdom with the situation of Dax looming over me. I’ve told Maki that there will be no celebrations or formal announcements until I have him back. He agreed begrudgingly. That didn't stop the news from spreading, though. Not when my arrival was witnessed by so many as I returned to Loema. Apparently, a white raven shifter is rare and only ever happens in the royal line; at least that much is known. The Moon Raven is what the people are calling me. Some even go so far as to say I was chosen by the moon goddess herself.
I call bullshit.
Why would the goddess choose to rip my mate from me and thrust my life into turmoil?
Determining that sleep is going to be too hard to find, now that I’m wide awake, I wrap myself in a thick blanket from the end of the bed and walk out onto the balcony. Snow covers the railing and all of the grounds below. The moon light casts out a soft white glow, causing everything to appear as though magic touches it and brings it to life in the night. Tipping my head back, I close my eyes and bask in her beauty. And as always, my mind wanders to my mate. I wonder if Dax can see the same moon where he is? A lone tear escapes my closed eye, dripping into my ear, before I shrug my shoulder up to wipe it away.
My magic pulses through my skin, almost as though the moon’s light brings it to the surface and charges it. An alive sort of chaos crawls just below my skin. The feeling causes butterflies to take flight in my stomach. Like the feeling I get when Dax walks into the room. Like he is here with me now, urging me to keep trying. I lift my hand, facing up, as I practice every night. Trying to bring the magic calmly to my palm, like Trent does with his flames. Nothing. Every night, it’s the same. I feel the surge as I try to bring the magic to me, but I can’t wield it like I did the night in the cabin. I think the fear and adrenaline were what helped that time. I have yet to recreate it.
Frustration overwhelms me, just as it does nightly, and I groan, stomping back into the room, and slamming the balcony doors shut behind me. Dropping my head at the door, I cross the room and slump back into the bed. Bringing the covers up to my chin. I breathe deeply, counting backward in my head as I try to will myself back to sleep.
My eyes flutter open, as I register a pounding sound coming from my door. I snag the dagger from my bedside table, get up from the bed, and press myself against the wall beside the door.
“Come in!” I call out. The door bangs open forcefully, but I catch it with my foot before it can hit me. It swings back, and I jump out with my blade raised to strike.
“Fucking hell, woman!” Trent grabs my wrist just as I lunge forward, saving himself from being skewered by my weapon.
“Shit. Why were you banging on my door like—like you wanted to kill me?”
“Do assassins knock now? I was trying to wake you up… You missed breakfast, and you never miss breakfast. We let you sleep, but when you missed our walk to the lavender fields, I knew something was up. I came to check on you, but when you didn’t answer, I had to bang on the fucking door.” Trent pries the dagger from my grip. I’m breathing heavily and he sees the panic starting to set in.
“Hey… It’s me, Raelle. I’ve got you.” He wraps me in his arms and holds me tight. Squeezing me and making my lungs push against my ribs, the tight grip he holds me in forces me to calm my breathing. I press my face into his chest, and when I feel myself coming back into my body, I take a shuddering breath, and he loosens his hold on me.
Looking up, I meet his hazel eyes. They have a little more brown than green, but are so much like Dax’s that it almost hurts to look into them. “I miss him.” His face falls before he gives me a wistful smile, and he kisses my forehead.
“I know. I miss him too.” My chest aches to speak the words. I’ve tried not to break around anyone since we returned to Loema, but with Trent, I’ve let my hardened shell crack. He holds me for a long moment, and when he’s sure I can stand on my own, he pushes me out at arm’s length and waits until my gaze meets his once again. “You haven't trained in a while. Kait and I were talking and if you want to…” He doesn’t have to finish the sentence.
“Yes.” I honestly can’t think of something better to release some of the built-up frustrations I'm holding than sparring. Take some of the stress and tension and replace it with a new sort. The physical demand on my body may do me some good. “I think that would be perfect, Trent. Thank you.” His white teeth flash and his eyes gleam with pride this time when he looks at me, and it makes a coy smile spread across my face. I love Trent as though he is my own brother. Not just by marriage. He is one of those men who is honorable and kind. He knows how to make people feel better, even when I know he’s hurting just as much.
“Dress warm, Maki’s soldier that is in charge of training is cruel and has us training in the courtyard. He says,‘The elements are a part of battle. You won’t have the choice then; you don’t have the choice now.’Fucking brute is what he is.” He deepens his voice when he’s telling the story, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Give me a minute; I’ll get dressed and I’ll be right out.”
Weeks have passed and every day without him, I grow colder, and not just from the winter that has fully settled over Loema. Makisays he believes that this winter is a test from the gods because Loema doesn’t usually become so cold. I think that it's a reflection of my soul on the realm. It’s not only my heart that’s growing harder, though. Every day I’ve been training with Maki’s warriors, determined that I will not be weak if I’m needed to defend myself or those I love. No one will fight my battles for me. Not ever again.
Ambriel and Kait have been at my side through every training session, even though they seem to want to kill each other by the end of each sparring session…I know they are there for me.
Trent, Maki, and even Alaric have also taken to the schedule; however, Alaric seems to find as many opportunities as he can to get out of the castle. The group is beginning to trust him more. Though he and Trent fight worse than brothers, and Ambriel doesn't help. Kait has been suspiciously quiet when the guys are around, but I’m too preoccupied in my own head to worry about it. There has almost been a sense of complacency with everyone, except every night when I'm alone in my chambers.
The moon is still high in the sky as I pull up the hood of my cloak to cover my light hair that seems to glow in the moonlight. I place the parchment on my pillow, where I know Trent will find it. The note tells him not to worry and that I won’t be gone long. I hope that I can find the seer as quickly as Dax and I did. But I need to speak with her before I make my decision. Though I know Ambriel has the gift of sight, and I have some of it myself… No one I know has it honed like Seriah. I need to know if she has seen anything about Dax. I need to know if she can confirm what I feel is true.
I've spent the last week tracking the movements of the guards who patrol the grounds, and there is a sliver of time that I will have to cross the garden without them the wiser. To do so, Ihave to be a little reckless, but I need to do this. Swinging my leg over the edge of the balcony, I slide down, hanging by just my hands on the frozen stone edge. I rock back and forth and use the momentum I create to fling my body lightly to one of the pillars below and grip to it as best I can before sliding down the smooth surface. I can’t risk using my wings and being seen.
Trent and the others don’t want me to get my hopes up. They encourage me not to seek answers from Seriah, but each night I wake up in the same agony, with my body drenched in sweat from the torturous nightmares, and my gut is telling me it has to do with Dax. I will not ignore my instinct any longer than I already have. I promised myself I wouldn’t the day I woke up without him. Tonight, I will keep that promise.
My breath clouds in front of me, and as the guard approaches, I hold it in my lungs, trying not to give my position away. He passes the shadows I’m hidden in, and I shoot out across the garden as fast as my legs can manage. My footsteps in the snow are swept away by the long cloak I wear in place of my usual one.Thank you, Trent.I finally risk breathing when I break into the shadows of the trees that line the grounds. I know I’m not clear of the guards yet, though. As quickly as I reach them, I begin running tree to tree before finally reaching the town edge. When I break through the narrow alley-way I round the corner and stop abruptly when a cloaked figure stands in my path, staring right at me.
“You know—I gotta give it to you. That was a pretty decent attempt at giving all of us the slip… but I would like to know. Where the fuck are you running off too in the middle of the night, Queen Raelle?” The baritone voice is nothing but a whisper, but I look around as if he just announced my name and title to the masses.
“How did you know?” I ask breathlessly.
“I’ve made it my business to know all the things you do. Since the moment I found out about you. I didn't stop just on account of having a false sense of security being in Loema with no attacks being placed on usyet.” His head cocks to the side as he studies me, and I can’t help but feel ashamed for what I’ve done. Though I didn't lie to my friends, the family I’ve chosen, slipping away in the night would only cause them worry and pain. But as the thought comes to my mind, I also recall the state of worry and pain I've been in since Dax was taken from me, and I steel my spine.
“Well, that’s not creepy at all…” I say, and his eyes narrow as he grins at me. “I’m going to see Seriah, the seer that Dax introduced me to. You can either fuck off or come with me if you must, but either way, I’m going to see her, Alaric.” I lift my chin, waiting for his refusal of my plan. Instead, he steps to the side, causing my breath to catch. He lifts his gloved hand in offering.
