Page 28 of Home Town Advantage
Daylen scratches behind BJ’s ear as she happily nuzzles into his neck. In a voice he reserves only for BJ, he coos, “Don’t listen to grumpy Uncle Vance, baby girl. He hasn’t gotten laid in months. His best chance at getting laid is ghost wanking.”
I foolishly ask, “What’s ghost wanking?”
Daylen gives me his goofy smile. “When you sit on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerk off. It feels like someone else is jerking you off.”
I can’t help but let out a laugh. “What the fuck? Is that a real thing?”
He smirks as he picks up a celery stick and begins to chew on it. “Sure is. Just be careful how long you sit on your throwing hand.” He scrunches his face. “Actually, don’t do it. Your hand and arm are too valuable. Or try it lefty?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think I could jerk off lefty.”
He straightens his shoulders with pride. “I can. I’m a very talented ambidextrous masturbater. Jerking off in a multitude of ways is my superpower. I even did it once with my own feet.”
“Congrats, Captain Jerks-a-lot.”
The song “Waterfalls” by TLC begins playing through the speakers, as it does every single time we’re in his car. It’s on his go-to playlist and his absolute favorite song in the world. He knows every word, including the rap verse. Who the hell knows that?
Daylen Humblecut does.
He begins dancing in his seat and happily singing along. “Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls…”
I shake my head. “Your obsession with that song is so fucking weird.”
He gasps. “Best song ever. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves. Doesn’t it automatically make you smile?”
I scowl at him. “How often do you see me smile?”
He scratches his freshly shaven face. “You smile when you watch Ms. Sullivan O’Shea play ball. In fact, it’s the first time I’ve seen your teeth in ten years of friendship. I think you’re in looooooove with her.”
I shake my head. “You don’t get it. Playing in the WNBA was her dream since she could walk. It meant a lot to Finn too. Seeing it come to fruition means something to me. Knowing I had some part in it is very fulfilling.”
“Even if she doesn’t know you had a hand in it? Maybe you should tell her.”
I shrug. “Who cares about me?” Why are he and Tanner obsessed with me telling her everything? “This is about her and her dream. Wanting her to realize her dream is one of the last things he ever said to me.”
His face turns serious. “Icare about you. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Noteveryone is your responsibility to take care of. You need to do a better job taking care of Vance.”
I turn my head and look out the window. “You and Tanner need to stop conspiring. At least be smart enough to use different words when you try to manipulate me. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Hmm.”
We ride in conversational silence the rest of the time. Conversational because Daylen sings the whole damn time. “Waterfalls” plays no less than five times. I think he has it as every sixth song on his playlist.
It’s early evening when we pull into his dad and Ashleigh’s house. It’s an upper-middle-class home within a nice subdivision. It’s very cookie-cutter, with all the houses looking exactly the same, but it’s still impressive. His father, Hank Humblecut, is a well-respected Federal judge and makes a comfortable living. He and Daylen are endearingly close. Aside from losing his mother, Daylen had a very American-pie upbringing.
The door opens when we pull in, and Jagger comes running out. At first, I think she’s excited to see Daylen, but it’s BJ she embraces. She falls to her knees as BJ licks all over Jagger’s face, and she giggles in glee. It’s very wholesome, though I chuckle as I notice that Jagger no longer is. She’s in a short plaid skirt and a midriff-bearing, tight white T-shirt. Her blonde curls are wild, and she’s got on way too much makeup for her fifteen years. And her height. She must have had a huge growth spurt since I last saw her. He better not bring her around the locker room. The guys will crucify him.
Daylen pouts. “What about me, Jag?”
She smiles as she stands and holds out her arms for him. Jagger looks more like Ashleigh but has Daylen’s larger-than-life grin. They share it with their father, one of the happiest human beings I’ve ever met in my life.
They embrace like they haven’t seen each other in years, with him twirling her around, even though I know it’s onlybeen a few weeks. Daylen goes out of his way to spend time with his little sister. She was the reason he was willing to accept way less money from the Camels to stay close by. It was Tanner and I who encouraged him to play hardball. Daylen didn’t have the stomach for it, but Tanner wouldn’t let him settle, and it worked.
Ashleigh comes into view in the doorway, and I have to bite back my smile. What can I say about Ashleigh Humblecut? She’s a piece of work. She’s an attractive forty-year-old woman but has gotten a little carried away with the fake boobs and Botox. Her body looks like she must spend a lot of time in the Pilates studio, and she more than loves showing it off. Her barely there tight red cocktail dress is kind of ridiculous for a family dinner at home in the middle of the week.
She offers a big smile and holds her arms open in invitation. “Come say hi to Mommy.”
I can’t help but bark out a laugh as Daylen rolls his eyes and leans down to give Ashleigh a quick hug. She reaches up and messes his hair like he’s a child before squeaking out, “I’m so happy to have our baby boy home. We’ve missed you.”
