Page 112 of Honey Undone
“I don’t get sad,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t think I've ever been sad in my entire life and now… every time I look at her I’m happy and at the exact same time... I’m so fucking sad, man.”
Van set his beer down, his head tilted up to watch Adeline just a few feet from me. “I get it. That conversation was hard for me and Zoey. It’s been fight after fight. She’s so scared that if she goes to law school and leaves me in Harbor that something bad will happen. She keeps replaying this scenario that I'll fall out of love with her because I don’t see her every day or something.”
“I don’t think there's a universe that exists that you and Zo aren’ttogether,” I said.
“That’s what I tell her, but she’s scared and fear blankets all reasonable thoughts. All I can do is keep reminding her that she’s only going to New York. I'm finishing school next year. The second that graduation is over I’m in the truck, on my way to her.” Van huffed.
“How long have you two been together?” I asked him, turning away from Adeline finally.
“Twelve years this October." He said without having to think about it. It was so nice to see him at peace with everything. Van Mitchell had always been a lifeline in the Nest because of his consistent calm nature. “She’s mine and a little distance isn’t going to break down twelve years of knowing that she is, in my soul.”
“How did you know?” I questioned, “Like… that she was the one?”
Van ran a hand through his dark hair and thought about it.
“Believe it or not, Zoey was loud in high school,” he laughed.
“Our Zo? No never. She’s as quiet as a mouse,” I teased, lifting the beer to my lips.
“Ella was quiet, but more intelligent than most of the students. She was quick, athletic and it wasn’t that she wasn’t friendly or nice. It was that she didn’t have time to entertain people that didn’t give that same energy back. Zoey did, she went to bat for El more times than I can count.” Van explained, though I wasn’t sure what that had to do with knowing Zoey was the one. I needed help with my own girlfriend, not a history lesson.
“I never really needed that, most people didn’t mess with a guy that was six foot five in junior year but there was one time,” Van laughed. “Last week of the baseball season, some guys were trashing me for being one of the low-income kids. I guess having no mom and a blue-collar dad is something to be ashamed of.”
I remembered being shocked to hear that when Van was accepted to Harbor’s ball program, his dad and sisters moved with him. He had tons of family back home but they were his people and they did it without question. His dad was funny, we didn’t see him much because he worked a lot but when we did he was always the life of the party.
“Kids are mean.” I added.
“Yeah well, Zoey was so pissed that I didn’t stand up for myself that we got in a fight and she went home from the game without speaking to me. In the morning, all three of those assholes woke up to find their expensive cars covered in spray paint, exposing some pretty nasty gossip about them. To this day I can’t prove she did it, but that night we were studying for our math final and I knew I loved her when I saw that bright orange paint caked beneath her fingernails.”
“She had missed some?” I asked with a smile.
“Her pinky nail,” Van hummed. “Zoey showed me that day how much she loved me and I promised to myself that I’d always be that for her.”
“You guys are cute,” I grumbled. “Doesn’t help me much though.”
“You’re talking about Adeline aren’t you?” Van asked quietly.
“I don’t have anything to compare it to,” I admitted, smiling softly as her laughter filled the space from Dean dipping her low suddenly.
“Love?” Van asked, his heavy brows pulling together in question.
“I’ve never slowed down long enough with a girl to figure it out,” I sighed. “Try everything once,” I groaned the stupid saying that used to come out of my mouth at house parties, drunk off vodka and just looking for a new girl to fuck.
“How did you know baseball was your favorite?” Van asked and I looked at him, confused. “You played just about every sport in the book. How did you know baseball was the one you wanted to stick with?”
“It felt like home,” I whispered and felt all the splintering pieces of my heart click back into place as I shifted my gaze back to her.My Belle âme.
“Fuck I’m so good at this,” Van snorted under his breath, drunk as he’d ever been.
“Shut up,” I grumbled, slapping him in the chest.
“If she’s home Jenny.” He tapped his empty bottle against mine, the clink loud and echoey. “Then it doesn’t matter. Here, California. You’ll be okay.”
“You think?” I asked him as he rose from the table, leaning over completely to place a drunken, messy kiss to my cheek. I shoved him off and watched his long body stumble backward.
“I know.” Van winked and disappeared to harass someone else.
JENSEN
