Page 107 of True Honey
“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked after a second. “We’ve been running a lot and it’s not exactly your M.O.”
I chuckled, breathing her in and matching my breathing to hers.
“Silas,” she whispered, trying to encourage the answer out of me.
“I’m okay, Drew.” The words came out shaky and I hated myself for it when her gaze tilted down to me.
“You don’t have to be,” she said in a small voice, “it’s okay if you're not.”
“I’m okay,” I repeated to her, each time I believed myself a little less. My fingers dug into her and without words she pulled me into her lap.
My knees hit the floor as my face tucked into her stomach and I wrapped my arms so tightly I felt her tense. I hid my face, unsure what she’d catch if she took a look at me but knowing nothing good would come from it. I let the panic settle at the base of my chest willing it to fade away into nothing but a dull thrumming as Drew pushed her fingers through my hair.
I sat on my knees between her legs trying to get control of myself for too long, I could hear my phone vibrating across the room where I left it. Everyone wanted something from me and I was starting to feel the effects of it. My patience was waning, that much was evident in the way I treated the boys today. Yelling wasn’t my style, and I had taken out my frustration on them without warning.Shit.
Drew waited patiently for me to relax and when I finally looked up at her she was staring down at me with an understanding expression that I probably didn’t deserve.
“What happened today?” She asked carefully.
“Classic case of trying to do everything for everyone.” A halfhearted smile formed on my face and Drew’s fingers traced the curve of my bottom lip. My phone rang again.
“You should answer that,” she whispered.
“No, that's exactly why I needed out, no matter how many times I answer it, no matter how many fires I put out. It won’t stop ringing,” I sighed.
Her hands cupped my jaw and her nails raked through the scruff as she tilted my head up to look at her. Without words she leaned down and kissed me, it was gentle, simple in the best kinds of way. Like rain after the hottest day or fresh snow. It was enough to push back everything and I realized in that momentwhere she went when she was hiding. It was nice there, dark and cool, away from the rest of the world.
Drew pulled back and I lifted up chasing the feeling of her lips for one more second of calm. She hummed but obliged the follow up with the same softness she had shown before.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “For just going with it.”
I wanted to tell her everything, her expression begged me for it but what I wanted to say and what she wanted to hear were two very different things. I wanted to tell her how much I hated putting her ring on my keys anytime she didn’tneedto wear it. How much I hated not being able to kiss her whenever I needed one.
Howrealeverything had become.
COURTNEY
“Auggie, can I talk to you?” I sat across from him at the island as he picked at his cereal before school. He had three days left before summer vacation and he had sweetly made a bunch of plans for him and Daisy to hang out. The color had permanently returned to his cheeks and I got to see his smile more often than not.
He looked up at me and flinched.
“Sorry, not like that,” I corrected myself, those words typically and repeatedly in the past had been used to start the conversation about moving. But that wasn’t this. His shoulders relaxed a fraction but he stopped eating his food to listen to me. “It’s about Silas.”
“I know Mom,” he practically cut me off, looking back at the manga he was reading.
“You know what?” I asked him.
“That you like him…” he said, flipping the page.
His honesty caught me off guard and I couldn’t tell if I was confused or relieved that he wasn’t more upset about it. I wet my bottom lip and inhaled slowly to give myself time to come up with a response that didn’t give away my emotions.
“How do you know that?” I asked, I was going to be pissed with Silas if he had spoken to August behind my back about everything.
“You’re happy,” he said, looking up from his book with a soft expression.
“Oh.” Something about the way he said it broke my heart. Iwashappy. Happier than I had been in a really long time but I didn’t think it was so obvious that my thirteen-year-old would pick up on it.
“You’re not as good at hiding things as you think,” he added and it made me laugh.
