Page 96 of True Honey
“Silas,” my voice was low, pleading. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t be so serious about us. Not like this. I was panicking at the thought. He wanted something so much bigger than my capabilities. He wanted commitment and a relationship but I didn’t know how to give him those things. I couldn’t provide the stabilityhe wanted, the partnership he deserved. I would fail him, just like I failed everyone else.
He paused, lifting his head to look at me. His eyes were intense, searching my face. He must have sensed the panic rising in my eyes because he sighed. “Overthinking, you’re always overthinking.” He released a frustrated breath but his grip on my hips eased. His thumbs traced soothing patterns on my skin. “I want to worship you and I want you to remember every single second of it.”
“Keep reminding me?” I asked him in a whisper.
“I will. Every single second. You’re going to feel my mouth, my hands, every single inch of me so deep inside of you that you’ll remember it every time you close your eyes.” Silas pushed my shirt up to expose my stomach, bending down to kiss my belly, sucking gently on the skin.
I arched into his touch as he marked a new path across my skin, his fingers trailing behind hooked into the top of my shorts. I could do this, I could stay present with him. Feel it all. I focused on the way his skin felt on mine, the delicate strands of gray that tangled into his dark brown hair, the scratch of his scruffy jaw as he passed over my stomach with his lips.
He looked up at me, his eyes dark with desire as he slowly pulled my shorts down, taking my underwear with them. He tossed them aside without breaking eye contact. Silas kissed the inside of my thigh, then the other, moving closer to my center but not touching where I needed him the most.
I wanted to complain, to huff and make him hurry but he had a point to prove, a memory to make. So I let him continue with his relentless slow pace, inhaling slowly to keep myself still with every touch.
His fingers spread me open, exposing me as he blew cool air over my warm skin before leaning in and licking a low, long stripe up my center. He hummed against my body, the vibrations sending sparks of pleasure through me.
“So sweet,” he said, placing a gentle kiss.
My fingertips tingled, begging for more contact but trying to follow his instructions to remain still. It was torture. Silas continued his slow exploration, using his fingers to spread me wide and giving my clit a gentle flick of his tongue. He looked up at me again, checking to make sure I was still there, that I hadn’tlet myself slip away. His eyes locked on mine as he sucked my clit into his mouth, applying just enough pressure to make my hips twitch.
“Still,” he whispered, his breath warm between my legs.
“You’re being cruel,” I complained quietly, it wasn’t serious but I needed more from him. None of it was enough to numb the anxiety coursing through my veins. It was going to ruin everything if I let it get the best of me.
Silas chuckled against me, the vibrations sending another wave of pleasure through me. When he finally added a finger, curling it up to hit that spot inside of me and sucked hard on my clit, I shuddered. My breath shook and my fingers pressed into the mattress if only to try and keep still.
“Cruel?” He asked, “or making sure every touch is memorized. I want you to feel me in your dreams, Drew.”
“I’m always dreaming when I’m with you, Silas.” The words came out before I could stop them. Soft and low but with conviction I didn’t know I possessed.
Silas stilled, his finger paused and his mouth retreated. Watching me like he didn’t fully hear what I said for a long moment. He pulled his finger out, leaving me empty and needy as he sat up and brought his face inches from mine.
“Say that again.”
“You’re a dream, Silas.” I dared to lift my hands and wrap them around his face. Battling every dark thought that pushed around in my mind to make sure he knew just how incredible he was. “A dream I never want to wake up from.”
Silas’s pupils dilated, swallowing the gray of his irises. He leaned into my touch, his forehead pressing against mine. For a moment he just breathed me in, his hands gripping the bed sheet tightly. When he kissed me it was slow, gentle and unlike anything he’d ever given me before.
He had no idea what he was doing to me. The kiss left me completely breathless but the sex that followed ruined me in every single aspect. It was slow, each thrust deliberate and deep, his eyes never leaving mine. He worshipped my body like it was made of porcelain, whispering sweet words with each delicious movement.
I allowed myself to feel it all, my fingers tangled into his hair roughly as he thrusted forward and our bodies melted together into one. He eventually broke the gentle pace, snapping his hips forward harder, chasing his high. One handslid under my back lifting me into him while the other gripped my thigh pulling my leg higher around his waist, opening me completely.
“Like you were made for me,” he huffed, his body growing tense.
Silas pulled me up against him, kissing a line across my throat and pulling out briefly to roll me onto my stomach. Wrapping himself around me he sat back on the bed, tugging me with him until my back rested against his chest. Once we were flush, he pressed himself back inside slowly and continued the rocking motion as his hand slid under my shirt and pushed it over my head.
He palmed my breast gently, his thumbs rubbing over my hardened nipples. His teeth found purchase on my shoulder painfully before he soothed the sting with his tongue. He spread me wide with his knees, going deeper and slower. He was making love to me like it was the last time and he wanted to imprint himself on my body forever.
He had more than accomplished his mission.
I’d never forget tonight.
I wasn’t going to last much longer in that position, his head rubbed against my tightening walls over and over causing the heat to build rapidly. Silas could feel it because he rolled his hips forward and stilled, grinding himself against my ass. He squeezed my breast a little tighter, thrusting his hips in a circle. He was hitting that sweet spot over and over as his teeth sunk into an untouched part of my skin on my back.
The orgasm hit like a tidal wave and without much warning, my body tensed in his grip as I came completely undone in his arms. It was euphoric to feel it like that, everything all at once. No holding back, no hiding in my own head.
I felt fucking alive.
“I understand now,” my words came out a gasp, mumbled in repetition like a chant and Silas tensed but smiled so brightly I could feel his lips curl against my skin.
