Page 94 of Honeysuckle
“Earth to big boy.” Cael sat on the bench next to me. I had all but sleepwalked through getting dressed. I knew Josh was beside me because the only thing I could smell was that spicy, woody cologne he was always wearing. I just wanted to be at the Nest, hiding from the world, tangled in the sheet that smelled like him. It had taken a week for me to understand why Cael washed his bedding with lavender all those years.
It was addicting.
It was comforting.
The way Josh had crawled into all the dark spaces beneath the surface was unbelievable.
“You gonna be alright?” Cael asked, flipping his hat over his head.
“Yeah, I was just spaced out. I’m good.” I brushed him off and finished tying my shoes before standing. I looked around at them all, quietly getting ready, everyone already bracing for the impact of tonight's game. “No one is more stressed about tonight than me…” I said loudly, getting their attention. "But this is just another game, just another team… We beat them before, we’ll beat them again. We do this as a team,” I said, looking around at them before stopping on Josh. “We have each other’s back and no one gets left on the field.”
The boys clapped, hollered, and tapped their chests in agreement, each one rising and filing out of the locker room. The tunnel’s energy before the starting announcements was charged, I could feel the electricity in the air, it tingled at my fingers and made my tongue fuzzy.
Josh was the last out of the locker room as per usual, and I thought about saying something to him, but when I looked back at him, he was steel. There wasn’t anything on his face but anger and determination. It wouldn’t have mattered what I said; he knew what he wanted out of the game tonight, and he’d get it.
I sighed, rubbing my hands on my pants to get rid of the nervous sweat and led the team out onto the field with a bright smile and a few waves. Lorette was already lined up near the dugout, murmuring to each other like the stadium had been vacuum-sealed of air.
I looked back at Josh, who seemed indifferent, but I knew better, his fingers curled at his side and his shoulders tightened beneath his jersey. Ian was standing with the Lorette’s head coach, his ugly glare tucked beneath a red cap. There was a thick cast around his right arm and he looked like every breath was painful.
Good.I thought when I saw him. The sound of Josh’s voice when he told his story echoed in the back of my mind, and it took everything in me to turn to the dugout at that moment.
“Looks like Ian found his legs,” Cael whispered from beside me as Van came to stand at my back. It wasn’t a secret that he was a homophobic asshole. He made it clear every chance he got. Arlo used to work harder to strike him out just so no one had to stand on base with him during the games.
Every interaction I’d ever had with Ian was horrible.
“Unfortunately,” Van said, crossing his arms over his chest. “This is going to suck,” he added, before following Coach’s voice to the dugout.
“Tucker, Cael—” he called to us, and Cael tugged on the back of my jersey to get my feet moving. My stomach was in knots, he wasn’t supposed to be here today. My previous statement of today’s game being a bloodbath was an understatement. Josh’s focus was still on Ian even as Coach ran through some last-minute updates. His jaw was so tight I could feel it in my own, and all I wanted to do was check on him, but I couldn’t. Not here, not now.
Fuck.
I turned to Coach, completely unaware that he had stopped talking and was ordering me out on the field.
“Get focused. There’s nothing you could have done to stop it.” He gripped my shoulder and caught my worried gaze. I had forgotten that Coach knew about the fight. I wasn’t sure how much he knew, but he knew enough to be concerned about the game. I could see it in his eyes. I nodded, and he tapped his fingers to my chest before shoving me up and out of the dugout.
We needed to win this toss, we needed the advantage.
“Hey, Tuck.” Yuri stepped up to the plate with the ump, and I shook his hand.
“Fortuna,” I said back. "Good to see Ian on his feet,” I said politely and Yuri looked over his shoulder with a scoff.Everyoneknew the kind of person Ian was.
“He might even get to play this season.” Yuri’s weasel-like features curled into satisfaction.
“Alright, men, no funny business today, keep the game clean and keep it fair. If you have issues, I’m the first to hear about them. No bench brawls today, I got a date later and I don’t need a black eye,” the ump joked.
“Chicks dig that stuff,” Yuri joked with the Ump. I could have cared less, with one eye on Ian in the dugout I shook hands before walking back to my own.
“Get in the field,” I barked as I came down the stairs and grabbed my glove. First base was directly beside the Lorette’s dugout. I swallowed tightly and shoved my hand into my mitt as we all marched out onto the field. I whirled on Josh as he came out of the dugout, the words caught in my throat as his dark eyes panned over me.
“What Tuck?” He snapped.
I’m here,I know he wouldn’t understand the sentiment of what I did next but I hoped that even through his hatred for the tradition he’d see what I was trying to say. I pressed my two fingers to my heart, no tapping, and all the silence of the moment swallowed by the stadium noise.I have your back.
Josh’s gaze flicked to my fingers, narrowed briefly, then snapped back to meet mine. “Quit being fucking weird,” he snapped and pushed past me but his shoulder brushed against mine and he tapped his mitt against my hand gently.
Okay.
I settled my nerves and made my way to first, watching Josh pace on the pitcher’s mound for a moment. He looked like a caged animal, the anxiety and anger rolling off him in thick, tense waves. When he finally settled, Yuri was readying in the batter's box. Swinging his bat back and forth before settling it on his shoulders.
