Page 74 of Honeysuckle
“If you were eating, I wouldn’t have been fielding phone calls from Shore. This meeting has to be quick because if I keep you from practice, Ryan will be in my office throwing a hissy fit, and I can’t deal with him or his manchild attitude today, so I have a challenge for you,” she said.
“Great. More responsibilities,” I muttered.
“Think of it as one you already had—butneglected,” she said. “I want you to start eating lunch,” she said.
“That’s not a challenge…”
She cocked her head sideways and waited for me to surrender.
“Don’t interrupt me,” she commanded.
“Fine, lunch.” I shrugged and stood from the chair.
“I want you to start eating lunch with me,” she said as I backed away, causing me to stop.
I knew what she was doing and I hated it.
“I’m so busy lately that I don’t ever get to talk to any of you outside of this room, so I’d like you to keep me company.” She tapped her fingers against her mug and smiled at me. “I take my lunch at eleven,” she said with a smile.
“This is manipulative,” I grumbled.
“Unfortunately, Mr. Tucker, I know you better than most of the players because of your activities with my nephew, and there’s one thing I know about you… That’s your love language,” she said. “You take care of me, I’ll take care of you. Simple as that.”
I stared at her and her stern green eyes never faltered as I tried to come up with reasons why she was wrong. I picked at my fingernails nervously, just wanting this to be over.
“Has anyone ever told a Cody no in their lives?” I asked with a defeated sigh.
“Eleven.” She reminded me instead of giving me an answer.
“Eleven…” I shook my head and left the room.
I walked the hallways down back to the locker room and changed into my cleats before jogging out to meet the guys on the field. Coach gave me a dirty look but I wasn’t focused on him as I joined the team jogging around the diamond. I was too busy being overwhelmed that Silas was pushing me around and that Riona agreed. I was fine, I was eating…
Okay, maybe I had skipped breakfast this morning, but I had slept in.
“Tucker?” Coach called to me and I turned to look at him, pushing the eating issue aside to deal with another day. He nodded his head for me to come over, and I broke from the group, sauntering over to where he leaned against the padded banister of the dugout.
“Yeah, Coach?” I crossed my arms.
“How are you feeling?” He asked me.
Those same Cody green eyes, always judging, rolled over me. He was gauging my reaction, trying to figure out if I was going to lie to him or tell him the truth. But the truth would only have more people worried about me for reasons that didn’t matter. The season mattered, the win. Why didn’t they understand that? If I were Arlo, they wouldn’t care; they would just trust me to handle it, but I’m being babied and manhandled by people who think they know better.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“You’re fine?” He chuckled, his head bobbing as he looked down between us. “Alright, kid, what is it gonna take to get you to talk to me?”
“I mean it, Coach. I’m alright,” I tried to insist.
“I wish I believed that,” he said, pushing up from his leaning position. “Dealing with problems off the field is the only way to keep your head straight, and if you can’t do that, you block it out while you’re here.”
“Right,” I said, just needing the ping pong effect to stop. I was being slammed around by both him and Riona emotionally and I was ready to explode. “I just need to get through dinner tonight and I’ll get straight Coach, promise.”
He studied me for a second longer, no doubt trying to figure out if I was still lying, but that was the truth. My life outside of baseball was practically over. My skin was itchy thinking about stepping into that house for dinner later because I knew what was coming.
“Alright, back on the field.” Coach waved me off, but I could tell that he wasn’t convinced.
I had played the argument over and over again in my head. When I couldn’t sleep I thought about it, when I did sleep, I had nightmares about it. I couldn’t figure out why I cared so much about what they thought, but no matter how hard I tried to shove back those feelings of disappointment that my family would rather ignore who I am, then have me in their lives, they seemed to embed themselves into the fibre of who I was.
