Page 38 of Honeysuckle
“She’s always had problems; I don’t remember a time in my life when she didn’t.”
“Never thought I’d hear the day that Joshua Logan blamed anything in his life on another person,” Cael said.
“Yeah, well, sometimes there is someone to blame.” I shrugged just wanting the conversation to be over with.
“Why’d you get kicked off Lorette?” He asked next; I knew the question was coming but I wasn’t in the mood to budge.
“I didn’t, I transferred. Drop it.”
“Josh, you preach letting shit go but you’re so wound up over something that you don’t seem to wanna feel, and I don’t understand why you aren’t being honest?” Cael pushed. His blue eyes seemed to sting as he surveyed my tight posture and squared off shoulders.
“This is different from a long-lost girlfriend and a dead mom, Cael. What I have to feel will kill me.” I stared him down for a second longer before shoving the plate back toward him. “Take me back to camp.”
TUCKER
CaelandJoshwanderedacross the field, and I knew something had happened by the look on Cael’s face. His expression was tight, the smile brittle—secrets clearly gnawing at him. I clapped Van on the shoulder and met them in the middle, only for Josh to walk around me like I didn’t exist.
“Great,” I huffed as Cael lobbed the keys through the air at me.
He looked over my shoulder at the team and then back to me. “I tried.”
“If you can’t get him to talk, I don't know what I’m supposed to do,” I said.
“I think…” He paused, lowering his voice. “Even though he knows we're not, I’m pretty sure he’s stuck on this idea that we’re perfect. That none of us has anything to be sad or stressed about. Like, he’s having a trauma dick-measuring contest, but none of the rest of us were aware we entered.”
“Was that really the best way to describe that?” I laughed, and Cael shrugged.
“Whatever…” He laughed with me. “Maybe if he sees how imperfect we can be, he’ll open up a bit.”
“Anytime I try to explain to him, he walls up and flips out,” I admitted.
“Stop trying one-on-one,” he suggested.
“What do you mean?” I turned and started to walk with him over to the diamond.
“It’s time you share your story, big boy, and not just with Josh. With all of them.” Cael winked and backed away to start warming up before I could argue with him that it was a dumb idea.
Even more dumb than trying to figure out what Josh needed. Every time he was met with even a flicker of kindness, he pushed back, claiming he didn’t need this or that. It was infuriating, and there was little I could do to stop the outbursts.
My mind was flooded with the image of him in the lake that morning. His back was a mess of scars that ran so much deeper than I had expected. With my new perspective of his skin, I could see the trauma seeping from him, but instead of being scared of it, all I wanted to do was ask him how it had happened.
At this point, I could barely get him to tell me his middle name. He wasn’t going to trauma dump over a can of Dr. Pepper at Hilly's with me. I kicked at the dirt with my sneaker and made my way over to where they were standing, waiting for me to tell them what we were going to be doing that day. There were only a few days left at camp, and we really hadn’t gotten anywhere as a team. If we expected to go back and even compete in the exhibition game scheduled for the end of next week, we needed to start working as a team–and we needed to do it now.
“Alright, I’m going to give you a position, and you’re stuck there for the day. No arguments,” I followed up quickly as they all started to rumble and huff at the announcement. “Van, move to catcher. Todd to pitcher, Jensen to third, Cael gofirst.”
I gave the last of them positions, and they moved, but not in total silence. Cael gave me a death glare as he shifted from his rooted position at shortstop, but I needed to teach Josh and Todd a lesson in cooperation, and the best place to do that was with Logan as Todd’s backup.
“Josh, shortstop.”
I watched him open his mouth to argue and then close it again when I put my arms out to welcome the fight. He shoved his hand in his glove and wandered across the field, no doubt feeling more out of place than ever.
“Arlo, hit some balls for them?” I asked, moving to second base.
“I thought you’d never ask.” He smiled and tugged off his sweater, throwing it toward Ella before swiping a bat from the dugout and warming up his arm. It was always nice to see Arlo in his element; practices gave us that sense of familiarity that we all craved now that he was a coach. I could feel the tension lifting as he stepped into the batter's box.
Todd pitched the first ball the minute Ella shouted “game on”, with the pitch soaring too high past Arlo and into the cage.
“Have you ever pitched a ball, Todd? Or are your skills limited to rifling them back to the pitcher?” Arlo grumbled as Todd reset on the mound and inhaled loudly.
