Page 115 of Honeysuckle
“Fine. We have lunch a couple times a week and it’s helping with everything.” I started to unbutton my jersey and shifted to my locker, Silas leaning against the side as we talked.
“She could talk a brick wall into confessing its darkest secrets.” Silas nodded. “What about uh…your family?”
“What is this?” I looked up at him, confused. “It’s weird…”
“What’s weird?” Silas lowered his voice.
“You asking questions like you’re my dad…” I stripped from my jersey and tossed it between my feet as I worked the buckle on my pants. “If this is some weird, ‘if you hurt my brother I'll kill you’thing I think you’re about twenty four years too late to the party.”
Silas stared at me with an unreadable expression that scared me a little. I shifted on my bench away from him a little and plastered a smile on my face. “Sorry that was mean,” I laughed nervously. "You’re doing a good job with him too,” I said, trying to satiate my guilt.
“I’m just looking out for you, I know you’ve had it rough for a little bit and you never called pineapple,” he said. That stupid safe word we used for press conferences was being brought up too much lately. I appreciated it every time he gave me the option but I hated that the situation kept arising for its need.
I shook my head and laughed. "I didn’t need to but it’s there in cases of emergencies,” I said, looking over to catch Josh still watching us like a hawk. “You’re making him nervous,” I said.
You're makingmenervous. I wanted to say.
“He probably thinks we're talking shit about him,” I added.
“I’ve never met a guy that suspicious,” Silas sighed.
“Do you blame him?” I said standing from my locker. “I stink…I need to shower, and to answer your question, my parents still aren’t talking to me.”
“Mmm.” Silas nodded and looked over at Josh. “Good game today.” He walked away from me without another word but I could tell he wanted to keep pushing the conversation.
I groaned as the water splashed over my dirty, sore skin. Stretching out my neck under the heat just chasing the relief that each rotation brought. The noise faded out around me, leaving me alone inside of my own head but the first time in weeks it wasn’t filled with questions, or what ifs. It was quiet.
I inhaled slowly and pressed my hands against the tiles to keep myself upright through the exhaustion. We were winning games, the press had moved on to more important topics and Josh was finally starting to open up to the team. I laughed under my breath at myself, how scared I had been that day on the bus; unsure if I could manage it all.
And maybe I couldn’t, not by myself anyways but I hadn’t been alone in it from the beginning. I should have realized that sooner, that my family wasn’t Sunday dinners and trust funds. It wasn’t staying small to appease their wicked ideals and twisted morals. It was standing up for myself, for myrealreal family. The ones that’d would also have my back, rain or shine.
And Harbor often felt the effects of thunderstorms.
“Tuck,” Josh’s voice broke through my thoughts, and I hissed as I came back to reality, standing in an ice-cold shower and the locker room empty. “You alright?”
He’s leaning against the wall at the door, watching me, waiting for an answer, but I was too distracted by his smile. It wasn’t smug or forced, it wasn’t one I’d seen before, but I liked it and it sent a shiver through my body.
“Yeah, I just lost track of time,” I said. “You wanna go to Hilly’s?” I asked, my stomach growling. Even my appetite had returned as the stress started to settle and I could breathe normally again.
“Yeah, they have a shirt and shoe policy, though,” he smirked, and his eyes dragged down over my naked thighs.
My ears turned red at his adoration, completely forgetting that I was naked standing here.Idiot. “Guess I’ll get dressed then,” I turned off the shower and wandered over to the towels, Josh watching every move like a hawk.
“Shame,” he whispered as I passed him, causing my breath to catch in my throat. Whatever he had been doing with Riona had made him braver, he still had a hard time with the physical aspect of our relationship. Everything was slow and one sided, but I didn’t care, what mattered was the difference.
He was happier, and that wasn’t to say he wasn’t an absolute asshole most of the time but in quiet moments, between just the two of us, I could feel the ease within him. It radiated. Before it was suffocated, and used as a weapon. Now he was able to sit still for a second, he didn’t need to be busy to keep the demons at bay and there was something so simply sweet in it.
I chucked my shirt at him, and he caught it against his face as I pulled on a pair of underwear and clean jeans. He wandered over and handed it to me, but didn’t let go right away.
“You did really good out there today,” he said in a low tone, his gaze locking on mine as they raked up over my chest. “The double in the fifth carried us home.” He swallowed tightly.
The tension between was quiet but sparking like a wire. Josh’s eyes were focusing carefully between my eyes and lips as I thanked him for the compliment. I laughed gently realizing what it was that he was doing.
“Do you want a kiss?” I asked him my voice low, practically begging him to say yes, knowing that he wouldn’t ask himself. He rarely did, he usually just waited for me to ask for one.
“Please.” He licked his bottom lip and I obliged his need with deprived precision. Not that I had been counting but it had been three days since I asked last, maybe waiting him out to see if he would break before me but he never did. Until now. It was gentle and he hummed, his throat vibrating in nervous pleasure as we collided softly. His bottom lip brushed against mine, as our noses bumped together and static coursed through my body at his touch.
My free hand lifted and I felt him breathe through his nose sharply as my fingers pressed to his chin and tilted his head closer to mine. His fist curled into the fabric of my shirt held between us and I leaned into him for more when he showed signs of pulling back too soon. Like my touch was an open invitation, Josh’s free hand curled into the band of my jeans. I swallowed and deepened the kiss as much as he would allow as he pulled on the fabric around my hips and urged me gently forward.
