Page 41 of Clean Sweep
“Sorry, Les,” Celeste muttered. She reached across the table and squeezed my wrist. “Dad never chickens out which is, I think, a compliment to you.”
Yeah,I wanted to say,I took his absolute lack of interest as a really positive thing.
Her gaze traveled from her phone and up to me with a pleading expression. “Please don’t tell him I said anything?”
“Promise,” I said too quickly. “I won’t say anything. To anyone.”
“Thank you.” She slapped her palm on her forehead. “He’d kill me.”
What was worse than being the one that Tanner botched? The one that Tanner didn’t ask. Maybe the only thing worse was being the one that your sondidn’ttell about his wedding date.
A quick beep of a familiar horn sounded outside. Celeste gathered her things, sent me one last apologetic smile, and headed out to the truck. I folded myself into my office until long after Tanner Beck had driven away.
FOR THE NEXT WEEK,Blake puttered around the house as he spoke to a girl across the country via his bluetooth headphones. They alternated from deep talks to intense video games. I buried myself in updating the Frolicking Moose HomeBnB listing, finalizing aspects of the Mercedy reunion, and trying not to think about Tanner.
Turns out, after four years of raising sons and a husband, I rocked at coordinating other people’s lives. Something in my work at the coffee shop fulfilled a deep part of me, and I’d grown to love it.
Of course, Tanner messed up all my usually spectacular focus. If he hadn’t stopped by last week, I’d be a lot more productive. If I hadn’t seen the attractive way his eyes crinkled when he laughed or the rolling way the sound rippled through the air, I wouldn’t still be daydreaming about it now.
Whenever I replayed those moments, Celeste’s conversation about his not asking me out soon followed. The bottom line was this: no matter what I talked myself into, Tanner Beck wasn’t interested in me. If he was, he would have asked me on a date already.
Now, I needed to get over it.
While working at the Frolicking Moose near the end of the week, my mind somersaulted like jeans in a dryer over Landon. My pen tapped the edge of my binder, which was tabbed into different sections and decorated with post-it notes in the shape of a Christmas tree. Not even that cheered me up at the moment .
Katelyn worked alone today while Dahlia and Bastian visited Jackson City to mail Christmas presents to all Dahlia’s family around the country. This was her first Christmas away from home and she compensated by sendingloadsof stuff to every cousin and distant relative. Katelyn hummed while she worked, but said little without Dahlia here to start the conversation.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t fathom how Landon continued to dodge the topic of his wedding.
Countless text messages, some emails, and a few stilted phone calls led me to no further information. Ethan heard nothing else either, which didn’t reassure me as much as I’d hoped. Blake had no reports, and Nicholas hadn’t even called. Only Max had called, per usual, on Sunday. He locked information up like a vault, though, so I’d never get news from him.
Would there be a wedding?
Was there trouble in paradise?
So many pieces to this puzzle didn’t add up.
With a shake of my head, I yanked my phone out of my pocket. I hadn’t heard from Landon in several days.
Leslie:Hey kiddo, just wanted to check in. When do you have time to chat?
I held my breath. Lately, he didn’t respond until evening, but I waited for about thirty seconds each time I messaged him just in case. To my shock, three dots popped up indicating a reply.
His response shuttled through moments later.
Landon:Sorry, Mom. Just swamped here with job training and Starla’s trying to plan the wedding. What about this weekend? I know you want to talk about Starla. I do too. But it needs to be in person.
Leslie:This weekend is great! Promise you won’t dodge me again like you did weeks ago? That hurt my feelings. I’m worried about you.
Putting the words out there removed a weight off my chest, even while they terrified me. Kids-as-adults was weird. The boundaries felt loose, because I couldn’t be the buffer that protected him from everything now. Holding them accountable was hard, but it was even worse when they had a cavalier attitude.
Landon:I promise. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, Mom.
Leslie:Forgiven. Love you.
Relief thatsomethinghad been acknowledged felt slightly less isolating, which led my thoughts right to the conversation with Tanner when I asked him to reach out to Landon.
Should I have asked him to help me? Maybe that had been a mistake.
