Page 24 of Clean Sweep
THAT NIGHT,the air turned frigid.
Standing on my back porch felt more like shivering in a refrigerator than enjoying my garden, but I stayed anyway. Somehow, the cold held me together and helped my thoughts slide easily.
I sat on my swing on the deck, surrounded by bare, wooden structures. In the spring, they’d host teeming green vines and fragrant flowers andlife. For now, the ghosts of my old plants remained behind, but their ghosts were enough to give me unequivocal comfort.
A reassurance of something better to come.
Through the years, the garden had been the one thing I’d maintained. The onlymespace I’d allowed mentally, emotionally, and physically. A structure away from my husband and kids, a place for me to go. It often helped me recover from the draw on my time and energy. Gave me something to adore and own.
The garden often required more physical energy than I had to give with four boys, and definitely required more time. In the end, however, it had always been worth it. During the babies and lean times and school plays and medical disasters and teenage-dating heartbreak, the garden had always been mine.
Now as Landon and Starla snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie, and Blake pretended to do his homework but really kept talking to Landon about their mutually favorite band, I sat in the cool air and stared at the stars.
My mind wandered all over the place, and I let it go. Text messages buzzed in my pocket, but I ignored those.
The time after lunch with Starla, Landon, Celeste, and Tanner became a get-to-know-Starla fest. Tanner maneuvered a few treacherous parts of the conversation that led toward territories I didn’t want to discuss with a crowd—namely Landon’s massive life decisions. When the topic threatened close, Tanner saved me by telling humiliating stories about Max or Nicholas, enough to make everyone laugh.
Tanner slipped through my thoughts again, liquid as silk ribbon. The thought of him didn’t suck. He was more attractive than I’d expected, and I’d expected a lot. Beyond that, however? He’d been frighteningly perceptive. With only a few words, he’d imparted courage, support, and strength.
Perhaps I should have focused my open attention on Landon and the next steps in his life. Starla, her family that she breezed over, and how she and Landon came to the conclusion that four weeks was enough time to get engaged.
Instead, I kept thinking of Tanner, and the thoughts were far more pleasant.
When my phone buzzed and a local number popped up, I frowned. Who would be calling me now?
I answered it with a quick, “Hello?”
“It’s Tanner.”
My heart dropped all the way into my stomach with a juicy crash. I straightened, swallowing past my shock.
“Oh. Hey.”
“Sorry to call unannounced.”
“No problem.”
“I think we have a problem with leaving our stuff over there. Celeste says she left her jacket on the chair in the family room. It’s gray and pink. Can you send it to school with Blake on Monday?”
“Of course.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
He paused and my flopping heart almost stalled in the meantime. Was he going to bring up my abject humiliation from the past few hours? I sincerely hoped we could end this call and never see each other again. No, wait. I still wanted to see him. Ogling from a distance would be preferred.
Interaction? No thanks.
“Did you want me to come back next week?” he asked. “I forgot to ask you today.”
My brain stalled. “For lunch?” I asked, my voice an octave too high.
He laughed. “No, to clean. But I’d take lunch too.”
Mortification crept through me in a hot wave. Okay. I needed to just die right now. Of course he meant to clean.
“Oh, right.” I cleared my throat. “Uh . . . yes. Definitely. What’s my invoice for this time? Great Aunt Martha isn’t going to die anytime soon so I’m not sure I have the cash.”
