Page 23 of Clean Sweep
His calm voice broke my stupor. “That was a big bomb or two he just dropped.”
I blinked out of the piling thoughts. Somehow, that was the exact right thing for him to say.
“Agreed,” I said.
He turned to study my profile, but I made no move to meet his gaze. I didn’t have the mental ability to look at him right now. He was far too attractive. Too . . . with it. One compassionate word and I’d . . . I didn’t know.
The crisp air made it easier to breathe. I closed my eyes and focused on the silence. A calming sensation followed, rippling through my muscles like a cup of warm tea. I’d bought myself at least a few minutes before I had to go back in, somehow separate Landon from Starla, and drag the truth out of him.
Tanner didn’t ask if I needed anything, for which I was grateful. I didn’t know what I’d say. Asking him to step out with me came from sheer desperation to get away and not have anyone follow. Meanwhile, my sluggish brain began to catch up to what had just happened inside.
Engaged after four weeks.
Almost-hysterical soon-to-be bride.
Dropped out of medical school and his years-long career pursuit.
No idea what he’d do next.
In the end, I came to the same conclusion that I had yesterday morning when Landon texted me the news—this had to be a joke. Max could have pulled this kind of stunt and I wouldn’t have doubted its veracity. Landon, however, had never been the troublemaker.
Medical school. The thought gave me a pang. If my son didn’t want to do that, I wouldn’t force it on him. For years, however, he’d had a single-path goal. Get to medical school, save lives in surgery. His focus had been absolute. I’d done everything I could feasibly do to support the dream. Now that he let it dissolve away, I had to restructure the life I’d pictured for him.
That was harder than I’d thought.
All the years of parenting Landon stacked up behind me, helping me know exactly what I needed to do. I just didn’t want to do it.
Landon would come to me with more details . . . eventually. At least, he always had in the past. We’d get rid of the basics, think it over, and come back together later. Didn’t matter that I wanted to hash it out now.
I needed to wait, even just a few hours.
The courage I needed to step back into the house and say nothing lay somewhere in all my decades of time as a mom.
Tonight, before he left, I’d pull him aside. We could chat more then, with the air cleared and everyone relaxed. To prepare myself for returning, I gathered bravery like a desperate woman. I pictured it like glitter and piled it into my arms, then shifted to go inside again. When someone shifted next to me, I froze.
Oh yeah.
Tanner.
I’d completely forgotten about him. How could I explain? What should I say about the fathoms of dysfunction that I saw in the decisions Landon recently made? How could I say that I had only needed to breathe for a few minutes, and he’d been little more than a convenient distraction?
I couldn’t.
Tanner cleared his throat. “Yesterday, I noticed the dryer vent had some issues. Glad we came out here to fix it before you had a fire. Thanks for letting me show it to you.”
Confusion clouded my mind. Dryer vent? What was he—the thoughts cleared. Oh. He’d just given me an excuse for coming out here. If anyone asked why we went inside, I’d have something to tell them.
Tanner turned and gestured inside with a tilt of his head. I forced myself to look at him, awash with relief and gratitude. He’d just given me the best gift I could ever ask for.
Support.
No judgment.
Not a word of advice.
My mouth closed before I could summon a single word. I nodded and managed a croaky, “Thank you.”
Tanner shuffled to the side and opened the door. Why did I have the feeling that he felt aslet off the hookas I did? I stepped back in the house ahead of him and Tanner closed the door behind us.
