Page 5 of Wild Child
But I plowed over his plea, too hot to stop now. “Did you know then that you wanted to go into the Marines?”
“I don’twantto, Ellie. I just don’t have a choice.”
“Did you know?” I asked again, my voice expanding.
His jaw became rigid as he stared at me, so gorgeous in the low light that it made my heart ache. Finally, he looked at the ground and nodded. His voice was low when he whispered, “Yes.”
“Yes, you’ve been lying to me for a year?”
His nostrils flared. “Yes, but—”
He stopped on his own this time. When he finally set his eyes back on mine, I had to look away. There was pain and fear and disappointment and maybe, just maybe, a hint of resentment. It was that chance of resentment that sent a shockwave through me.
I stepped back, shaking. Another tremor of pain crashed through me.Resentment.Was I holding him back? Did he feel trapped with my friendship? He must, or he wouldn’t have done something to run away. That meant there was nothing else to do. I had to escape. Had to leave. Had to get out of here before I . . .
Exploded.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
What else could I say? For the last year, Devin had been sneaking behind my back, letting me believe we had a future together. All that time, he knew he would betray me to go to the Marines. He allowed me to believe in a dream where we moved forward together. That we’d leave this small mountain town and conquer the world.
It was all a lie.
The heat in my eyes returned, this time with ferocity. I blinked the tears back with the maddening thought that Mama had been right.
Men leave.
Love dies.
You take care of yourself.
Although I’d talked myself out of believing her for the last couple of years because Devin was different, Mama had been absolutely right all this time. Maybe it was just a matter of time forallof us. For Maverick to leave Bethany. For JJ to escape from Lizbeth and Serafina to lose Benjamin. Maybe we all ended up alone.
“Ellie.” He put a hand on my shoulder and I realized I’d stopped moving away from him to stare at the ground. “Please tell me what you’re thinking. I know you feel betrayed and this is frightening and . . . “
He trailed away again. My heart fought my head, which hurt from all the confusion. Everything felt like a big, ugly trap that rolled around me. And, pulsing in the corner of my mind, was the remnants of the shredded box where I’d tucked the truth. It screamed at me now in maniacal revenge for having ever tried to ignore it.
You love him. You love him.
And now?
He’s leaving,Mama whispered.Because they always do.
I stepped back. “I have to go,” I said. “I . . . I have to go.”
With that, I picked up the dress that I’d carefully chosen, grateful that I’d worn my tennis shoes, and I disappeared into the night with a carefully masked sob.
* * *
10 days later
Laughter and the clicking sound of pop cans opening filled the air.
I climbed up the back of a favorite tree behind the Frolicking Moose and carefully settled onto a branch in the middle. The rough bark scraped against the back of my legs, but the black material of my yoga pants and my oversized camouflage hunting shirt would hide me. My black hair skirted my shoulders and a matching camouflage hat pulled low over my eyes hid as much skin as possible.
