Page 75 of Shy Girl
“I've a-a-always l-loved you,” she continued. “Ever s-since my first d-day as a f-f-freshman in high school, when I s-saw you walking down the hallway with the other M-m-merry Idiots. I f-felt you in my soul, and then I spent the r-rest of my life building up a p-picture in my head of who I thought you w-would be. Of . . . how your k-k-kiss would f-f-feel. The heat of your hand in m-mine.”
Her fingers closed together, and she grimaced a little. When she closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, I wanted to ask her to breathe for me. Because I couldn't. The enormity of what she said was almost impossible to comprehend.
No way.
How had I missed this too?
A stupid, lopsided smile crossed my face.
“Really?”
Her painful expression deepened into a grimace. “R-really,” she whispered. “I-I've never b-been able to g-g-get you out of my h-head.”
My mind raced through the few blatant memories that I had back in Pineville. Mostly of her at work, every now and then out and about her life. Quiet. Shy. Calm. But her gaze had been attentive, which I'd always dismissed as nervousness from my law enforcement uniform.
Maybe it had been something else.
“All those nights at the Diner?” I asked quietly.
“Y-yes.”
“The coffee shop?”
She recoiled a little, her voice a calm whisper. “Yes.”
“You felt something for me all this time?”
Astonishment stained my voice, and I wished I could take it back because Dagny paused, her jaw tight. As if it made her more uncomfortable for me to be so shocked. How could I not be? Words failed me, and I cast around uselessly for something to say.
Something like determination built up in her eyes before she tilted her head back, lifted her chin, and said, “Y-yes, J-jayson Hernandez. I-I've always c-cared about you. C-couldn't g-g-get you out of my head. A-and that's the full truth. S-s-so you have it. I w-want you a-and a part of me always w-will.”
I took another step toward her, but she didn't seem to notice. She barreled into whatever she'd come to say next.
“If you w-want Victoria, th-that's . . .” She swallowed, as if she couldn't get the words out. Seconds later, they spewed out like a volcanic eruption. “Th-that's your i-idiot choice. B-but I couldn't l-let you d-do it without knowing that I . . . th-that I loved you.”
Her eyes turned stormy, and I wondered if she recalled our kiss on the hot sand and cool surf, just like me. If she remembered the warmth of having someone at her side, the way I felt. The way I couldn't wait to learn everything there was to know about her.
My hand reached up to brush the skin of her face with the back of my knuckles. Her eyes fluttered closed.
“Why do you think I want Victoria?”
With a guilty little look, she said, “You k-kissed her outside the el-levator.”
I recoiled. “Were you there?”
“N-not exactly,” she muttered wryly.
My brow furrowed. How could she possibly know that? I dismissed it with a little shake of my head. Details could come later. For now, I needed to ground into whatever we had unfolding right now.
“I had to know.” I shrugged. “When I kissed you in the ocean the other day, something . . . it was so different. Victoria's kiss was cold and forced and hard and it didn't make me feel anything. But I had to know that I was over her.”
“Are you?”
“Yes.” I laughed. “I'm not even sure there was anything there to begin with.”
Her head tilted down as she seemed to consider that, betraying a fan of dark eyelashes against her skin. I put a bent finger under her chin and lifted her head. Her eyes closed.
“Dagny?”
