Page 19 of Fighter
But no one could keep me safe like Benjamin.
The realization came with a hearty sense of shock, maybe embarrassment. We weren't even friends. Hardly acquaintances. But I couldn't help the way I felt, or the utter truth behind it. Benjamin was safety personified. And maybe, on some small level, a sort of friend. If he even had those.
Unfortunately, I couldn't just jump up and haul out of the MMA Center the way that I wanted, because my ribs already ached just from holding back the sobs. So I did the only thing I could to save my pride.
“For heaven’s sake,” I whispered thickly, “can you just say something please? I can't stand this silence.”
He looked at me then, his expression so serious. His gaze dropped to my cheek before a gentle hand lifted to my face. His warm palm touched my skin, thumb hovering over my bone where the pulsing had become angry. He touched it softly. I held my breath as tears welled in my eyes.
“I hate this for you,” he whispered.
The tears dropped down my cheeks, sliding over his thumb.
“Me too.”
Free now, I couldn't stop the tears. My face twisted as a sob peeped out, jarring my ribs. His arms tensed and a moment of indecision crossed his face while I wrestled to gain control of the agony. My arm braced against my side uselessly. It only made it worse, and I sat there for a moment, a ball of twisted pain, before I could get a hold of myself. For a breath, I thought he'd pull me into his arms—I so desperately wanted him to—but Ava's voice broke through the room.
“Dad! These brownies aresogood.”
Properly reminded of where we were, the strange moment ended and I turned away. This had definitely been a mistake. He owed me nothing and I'd revealed far too much already. Without his intense scrutiny on my face, I was able to quell the sobs and wrest them under control. His hand fell back to his side as I carefully wiped the tears off of my face.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered. “I didn't mean to drop this on you. I just . . . I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten and I didn't want to be in that hotel room alone right then.”
“Are you . . . do you . . .”
The words stuttered in his throat, as if he didn't know what to say, but wanted to say something. Time to save him, then.
“I'm okay.” I gave a watery smile. “I promise. I feel better. Ava was . . . amazing. She helped me feel better just being with her. And thank you for listening. It helps. I'm going to go back to the hotel now.”
And die in a puddle of mortification, thanks,I finished silently.
I stood up too quickly and swayed. With one arm braced on my side, the other reached for the counter. He clamped a hand on my arm immediately.
“I'm good now,” I whispered once it passed.
But his frustrated expression hadn't lessened, and he clearly wasn't fooled. “Let me drive you back to the hotel. Is it the cabins down the road, by the river?”
The thought of climbing into that monstrous SUV sent another whirl of pain through me. No way. Besides, I needed to grab things at the store and that was practically next door. I'd gone through the grocery store with the single-minded focus to get them food and had forgotten a new toothbrush. Packing my stuff had been haphazard while Jayson waited for me and the other officer took Talmage away.
Amber had conveniently disappeared before they even showed up, the skunk.
“No, it's the hotel at the bar.”
“That place?” he cried. “That's so sketchy.”
“It's just until I find a place to rent.”
“Do you feel safe there?”
“Of course,” I snapped.
He didn't like it, obviously. But as his gaze darted to Ava, his weird spot became blatantly apparent. No doubt he needed to get her home and in bed. And who was I to him anyway?
“Thanks.” I forced a more confident, certain tone. The same he'd tried to teach me to take. I should just be grateful he didn't ask for an accounting of my self-defense moves. Which hadn't, at the moment, deterred much of Talmage’s wrath, as Benjamin had mentioned. Not until I got ruthless and hammer punched Talmage's injured shoulder.
Straightening my shoulders sent another twinge through me but I ignored it. “I've got this and appreciate the distraction. See you later?”
“Wait, Sera—”
