Page 69 of Runaway
Within minutes, we laughed like old friends.
And then she was gone as quickly as she came, with warm hugs and cheek kisses for both of us. In her absence, I felt like I'd just endured a glitter whirlwind and all the sparkle had left again.
"She is . . ."
"Extra, right?" he drawled. "She'ssoextra."
"Amazing."
He winked. "I know. She's pretty great. You know what else is great? French toast, baby. Grab me some grains."
He balked as I grabbed a whole grain variation, then tossed his cheap white bread back on the shelf, but eventually acquiesced because I shoved the cart forward and ran my hand along his arm just to distract him. The trick worked. He shivered, completely distracted from food.
We pressed on, my heart on fire for so many reasons I didn't try to understand.
People cluttered the aisles, and the eggs and milk were almost gone by the time we arrived at the dairy section. While I still felt paranoia about who could be watching me, the confidence in Mark's tone rang out earlier.
I'll be with you the whole time.
And what if Joshua did come? What would it mean? Well, so many things. With so many people bustling around, the warm weather outside belying the incoming storm, and the feeling of Mark's hand on my back, it just didn't seem that scary. Somehow, I was able to let go of thoughts of Joshua. To smile at strangers. Although I scanned every face I could find, the same crippling fear didn't accompany it.
Once Mark steered us toward the front of the store and slid into a spot at the checkout, I made a few more silent plans to get rid of that junk food. A thirteen-year-old wouldn't even buy that much.
No wonder he worked out so religiously.
"Oh, toilet paper." I snapped my fingers, able to execute the act just as I'd planned. "We almost forgot that."
He held up a finger and turned to leave, then stopped and shot me a questioning glance. I smiled and nodded toward the back of the store, letting him know I'd be fine. He disappeared just as the cashier grabbed the first item I'd stacked on the belt, if a guy with shoulders like thatcoulddisappear.
Once he was out of sight, I turned to the cashier, a middle-aged woman with a quiet smile and fluffy hair. Then I passed her two one hundred dollar bills.
"Can you accept this now so that he doesn't try to pay?"
She lifted her eyebrows, then winked. "Of course."
"Thanks." I grinned. Winning felt good. The energy of the store felt good. Then I proceeded to cull at least half of the junk food he'd piled on and asked her to reshelve it. She laughed and tucked all the sugary boxes onto another counter. While she prattled on about a story with her neighbor and a particular brand of window cleaner that we were buying, I glanced around.
Even though I felt silly for doing it, I couldn't help myself. The busyness of the store made it impossible to track people around me, but seeing faces helped. Maybe at least gave a false sense of—
A quick move jolted my gaze back to where I'd just looked, near the back door. My heart leaped in my throat when, for a second, I could have sworn I saw Joshua in an orange parka. His neatly arrayed hair. Strong but lean shoulders. The perpetual smirk of one side of his lips. But the sense faded away.
Paranoia, again.
I turned half my mind back to the conversation with the cashier and tried to smile at the right time, but couldn't help the jarring feeling left behind in my body. Like someone had kicked me and I couldn't quite get my breath back. Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea. Maybe the close, ragged edges of the mountain felt safer. Maybe—
My breath whooshed out of me, as if literally kicked, when I looked back up and right into Joshua's eyes.
He stood on the other side of the store, near the exit, in an orange parka and a pair of jeans. He stared right at me without a waver in his expression or . . . much expression at all at first. Seeing him wouldn't have been so frightening if he didn't look so utterly . . .
Nothing.
Then his gaze hardened. His lips pressed together. My heart slammed against my ribs for several seconds before I could recover my wits. The woman continued to prattle while she typed in the code for bananas, and the world moved on, but my gaze didn't falter from Joshua's. Not for a second.
Suddenly, all the memories rushed back.
The awkward silences at work after he'd said something inappropriate. The way he'd watch me walk to my car. The feel of his eyes on me in a meeting. Emails upon emails upon emails. The hidden pictures of his current wife.
All the pressure of his intensity felt like a heavyweight on my shoulders.
