Page 60 of Lovesick
JJ held up two hands, as if conceding a point. “Fair enough. So it’s really just about escapism. You want to picture yourself as someone else, doing something else.”
“Yes.”
His eyes met mine. “I get that. It’s what climbing does for me.”
With that, he stood. The intensity of his expression wouldn’t leave me anytime soon. Nor would the fact that he didn’t challenge me. He didn’t use my heartbreak to prove his own point.
He really did just want to discuss it.
After I finished my pillowy, buttery brioche, I said a quick goodbye to give JJ and Kelly family time. But I felt a little empty as I left the warmth of the kitchen, and I desperately wished JJ was at my side.
It really was kind of fun talking romance with him.
20
JJ
Darkness coated the world in shadows by the time Mom stopped talking about her new position at work. It would have felt cozy if my mind wasn’t spinning so much.
Why was Mom here?
“Enough about me.” She jumped onto the counter and plucked off another thin sliver of brioche. “You’ve got something new going on, don’t you?”
I lifted one eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
She gestured around us. “Brioche bread. There was a tart in the fridge when I pulled it open. Half of a croissant left on Lizbeth’s plate in the house. I happen to know none of that was purchased. So, what’s going on?”
My plan wasn’t really mine to reveal. I was a small cog in a greater machine, just the way I liked it.
“Baking is a fun challenge. I’m trying it out.”
“You’re a very intelligent man, JJ. You’re calculated. You only take a risk if it’s one you know you can tackle. It’s why you’re so good at climbing, and also why you keep Mark in check. So, what is it?”
I blew out a long breath. “I do have something in the works. I can’t give details yet, but it would satisfy my ... need to move on to something new without actually leaving.”
Her expression softened. “You’re trying to stay, aren’t you?”
Stability wasn’t a forte of Mark and me. We’d spent so many years bumming around because it felt good. The freedom of that life was exhilarating. But it was also wearying. Made it difficult to stay stable. I missed the mountains, Meg, and my parents deeply at times. At thirty years old, it was time to try something new.
“Yeah,” I said. “I am.”
Her smile seemed at once mysterious and wise. “It’s hard, but there are some amazing advantages to staying in the same place for more than ten seconds. Well, I trust you to tell me in your time. But if not that, at least tell me what’s going on with you and Lizbeth.”
The explanation I’d rehearsed while Mom had been speaking turned to mere letters in my brain. I couldn’t put them into sentences that made sense anymore.She’s working for Mark as a friendwas true but misleading. It was more than that, and I wanted to be wholly honest with her.
The way they hadn’t been with me.
“I don’t know.”
Her brows rose. “That’s not what I expected. You’re one of the most self-aware and articulate people I’ve ever met. C’mon, JJ. You have to know you feel something for her. I can see it in the two of you. In the way youlookat her.”
“It’s not ... I just ... I reallydon’tknow. We’re friends. I ... what do you want me to say?”
“That you’ll fall in love, have babies, and not move away ever again.”
I shot her a glare.
She shrugged. “You asked.”
