Page 64 of Coffee Shop Girl
His fingers ran through my hair, rubbing my scalp. The scent of pine filled the air. I wanted to swim in it. In him. To pull this Viking’s arms around me and sink into an eternity. He pulled away slowly, our foreheads pressed together.
“Don’t apologize.” He ran a thumb over my cheekbone. “Not for that. Not for what you told me. But I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you in a vulnerable moment.”
My eyes opened and locked on his. As surely as he sat before me, I knew I’d regret this later. When I couldn’t stop staring at him. When he went back to business mode.
When he left.
But for the love, I couldn’t think about it. Couldn’t see anything but him in that moment. Hear anything but the deep rumble of his early-morning voice. Couldn’t help but die a little in the light of his golden eyes. Absorb every molecule of heat from his touch. Like a woman locked in ice, about to meet fire.
“Areyou taking advantage of a vulnerable moment?” I whispered.
“Not on purpose.” His breath caressed my cheek with a slight smile. Sweet mint, as potent as his kiss. “I’ve wanted it for a while.”
“Me too. But what do we do now?”
His lips parted, but no sound came out. “I don’t know,” he finally said.
My heart bounced around my rib cage like it wanted to fly free. If I strapped him down, would he just disappear? Was it even fair of me to ask this question so soon? We were supposed to be two professionals saving a store. Not two hearts trying to save each other.
“Why don’t we just ... let it be whatever it is for now,” I said, pressing my hand to his chest. A shiver moved through him.
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“No ... rules. No...”
“Expectations?”
“Not yet.”
Of course, I’d build expectations. I’d already fallen hard for him. Already longed to breathe him in and never let him go. But it would be worse to hold him at arm’s length and never know what we could have had. Broken hearts mended. I knew that by experience.
He was a minimalist. An emotional runner. Commitment, on some level, seemed to frighten him. Why else would he run away from whatever he’d left?
In order to have him, I had to put away all expectations.
“Bethany, Iwillleave. I won’t stay here and—”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“Yes.”
“And you still want to let this be?”
I swallowed. “Yes.”
“There’s no way to stop yourself from creating unconscious expectations, and that’s a breeding ground for pain and disappointment. This doesn’t sound wise.”
“I know.”
He pulled back to study me. “Then why are you doing this? I don’t want to hurt you. To get attached and then leave? It’s ... heartless.”
A thundercloud overtook my mind. I scooted back a little. What if I had read this all wrong from the beginning?
“Are you not interested?”
His hands tightened around my arms. “Of course I’m interested. But I’m not looking for commitment. What if you feel something and ... and I break your heart?”
