Page 82 of Coffee Shop Girl
“That feels hard,” I said, swallowing my emotion. “Sad. It’s too much. Besides, it’s almost credit card day. How will I pay for all this?”
He paused. “You’re right. It is sad, and it is hard.”
“I’m not ready.”
“Then don’t do it.”
“But the girls?”
He shrugged. “You don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.”
Annoyance rolled off of me. “That’s the thing, Mav. I don’t get the luxury of freedom or walking away or minimalism. Not anymore.”
My heels tapped on the ground as I did, indeed, walk away. A fire sparked under my skin, and I knew I’d regret throwing that back in his face.
Clearly, he didn’t get it.
Maybe he never would. And he didn’t have to get it, because that’s the life he chose. No attachments. No expectations, no disappointment.
But it wasn’t mine. Not anymore.
26
Maverick
My exchange with Bethany kept me up until past midnight.
I’d totally messed up—I could own that. Sometimes I crossed the line between business and friendship when I was a bit too honest, or maybe just too blunt. Bethany had an emotional response to a situation that I hadn’t pegged as difficult.
Most people loved redecorating. Fresh start, and all that. Didn’t realize I’d pushed too hard, too fast until I saw the terror on her face. But I wasn’t sure how to fix it, and I didn’t like that. Somehow, I felt like I’d disappointed her. Which totally sucked. And it all came back to her proposal that we let our attraction show with no expectation of a future.
Because she was already forming expectations.
My phone beeped. I almost ignored it, but decided to make sure it wasn’t my mother. Instead, Bethany’s name showed on the screen.
I couldn’t open the text fast enough.
I’m sorry I was angry at you and stomped off like a toddler.
Letting out a long exhale, I lay back. That wasn’t what I’d expected. I started typing.
Fault is mine. Should have been a little more compassionate. You’re giving up a lot for these girls.
Two full minutes passed before her reply came. I didn’t notice how hard I was holding on to the phone until I forced my fingers to relax a little.
You weren’t entirely wrong in what you said. I get really annoyed with how right you are ALL THE TIME.
Chuckling, I said,I know. My family hates that about me too. Except Mallory. She loves it because I made her company grow faster.
I think ... maybe I’m holding on to my dad too hard.
My brow furrowed. What on earth to say to that? Of course she was holding on to him. He hadn’t even been gone a year. But too hard?
Maybe.
Or maybe this was all a part of the process. I had no idea because I just avoided thinking about my father. She might have a leg up on me there. At least she let herself feel. I ran from it like a plague.
She’d lost so many people that I couldn’t even relate. My palms started to sweat a little. She clearly needed something right now, and I had no idea what. Falling short here would only disappoint her.
