Page 98 of Just (Fake) Married
Having never really known a domesticated goose before, I wasn’t sure if this was normal animal behavior. I carefully stroked her face and she did it again.
“Wow,” Harmony said, and cleared her throat. “That’s a sign she’s starting to really like you.”
“Well,” I said. “That makes two of us.” I looked at Jenny, growling in her throat in the wrong direction. “How do I win her over?”
“Liver treats,” she said, looking down at the dog.
I was jealous. I wanted her eyes on me. Wide and unfocused, just as she was about to come again.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Everything good with you?”
She nodded. “We’ve officially formed the Feud Day Festival committee. Our first meeting is tomorrow night to talk about how we implement all those ideas the town had. Also, we have to make sure we can get someone from the state capital to actually witness it all if we’re going to be awarded a blue ribbon.”
“Exciting,” I said.
Which was a perfect segue to follow up that I also had exciting news. Except, I didn’t say anything. Because if I told her my news, it would make it real. I was leaving.
And that’s when it hit me.I’m not ready to leave yet.
“Do you need a ride into town?” she asked me, like she did every morning. Another thing we’d started doing together. Carpooling.
I shook my head. “I’ve got a few straggler cowboys I haven’t seen yet. Going to head down to the bunkhouse. Mac will give me a ride into town.”
“Okay,” she said, then started toward the stairs and stopped. She turned to look at me and smiled. “Have a good day, Ethan.”
“You too.”
Sweetness.
I’d almost said it. Remembering the pet names she’d made up for us. Fortunately, I’d managed to swallow it. Just before it left my mouth.
Oh God. I was in serious trouble.
An hour later,my brother dropped me off next to Harmony’s truck in front Goods and Provisions.
I had a travel mug of coffee. A refill for her. A bottle of water because it had been on her resolution list to drink more of it. And liver treats.
“You okay?” Mac asked, when I didn’t jump out of the truck.
“Yeah,” I said. “Good.” But I still didn’t get out of the truck.
“You seem good,” he said. And there was something sincere about how he said it.
“How do you mean?”
“Just saying, growing up I could always tell you had one foot out of this town. Out of our house. You were so restless. But this time around, you being back here, there’s a sort of peace about you I don’t ever remember.”
“You getting philosophical on me, brother?”
Mac shook his head. “Just saying it’s been nice having you around. I know you didn’t get along with Dad and I know why. He wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy with me and Carter, who stayed in the Gulch. But…well, dad is dead. You being here makes me think I got something even while I lost something.”
“I’m sorry, Mac,” I said. I’d been so focused on all of my shit. Because Dad and I hadn’t had a relationship in years, I didn’t really feel the grief like I should.
But my brothers did.
He shrugged. “Everyone thought that Carter and I weren’t paying close enough attention. Like we’d watched him get sick and hadn’t done enough to force him to get treatment. He just wouldn’t hear of it. It was like part of me thinks he was ready to be done. All that shit with the will – that had to take time for him to figure out everything he wanted. He knew he was dying and he didn’t do anything to stop it. But neither did Carter and I.”
“No,” I said, refusing to let them bear the guilt. “I didn’t check in. Seth didn’t take a break from the rodeo tour to visit. Eli never fucking connects with us at all. We’re all in this together. And if Dad did decide he was done, then he was done. That’s how he lived. No emotion, no feelings, just action.”
