Page 84 of Of Literature and Lattes
Krista followed. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Does Becca know?” He ground out the question so soft Krista leaned closer.
“No.” The answer came out short and emphatic. Her hand clamped on his forearm. “Please. Don’t tell her. You said yourself all this isn’t good for her.”
“You needed her DNA for the test. You needed my DNA.” He shrugged away from her grasp.
“It was a swab to the inside of her cheek. She thought it was normal checkup stuff, and I took a hair from your sweatshirt she wore home last time... Look, I didn’t expect any of this to come up. I never thought you’d follow us. You were in Seattle and—”
“Her, Krista, not you... I followedher.” He towered over her. “And now this is my fault?”
“I’m not saying that. I’m saying I messed up. I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry.”
“Why now?” Jeremy leaned against his car, suddenly weary beyond belief. “I need to hear you say it... That you’re telling me now for you, not for me, and certainly not for Becca. You’re telling me now because you want to move and I’m in the way. Like seven years ago, my role here is over.”
“No.”
“Be straight with me, for once, Krista. If it didn’t help you get what you want, we wouldn’t be having this conversation—ever—because I tried. Remember that?”
Krista took a step back.
Jeremy straightened. “Becca was a month early, and when I came to visit I asked. I asked if she was mine and you got all teary and indignant, yelling about the birth certificate. You made me feel guilty and you made me pay. You didn’t talk to me for weeks, refused to send me pictures, cut me off for almost a year because I’d questioned you.”
“It looks really bad, I know, and I’m sorry. But we were married and that made you her dad. You are her dad. So I wasn’t lying. I was, but it was also true—I mean, I didn’t think it through.”
Jeremy closed his eyes. This was not going anywhere good. As with most conversations with Krista, it would wind like spaghetti until he ended in the wrong about something. And at some level, despite the birth certificate and her teary indignation back then, and her petulant assurances afterward, he’d wondered. He’d always wondered. A sliver of doubt in the back corner of his mind.
But now doubt became fact, and that changed everything.
Jeremy opened his car door.
Krista lunged forward, clasping the top of the driver’s door. “You never told me you were doing this, Jeremy. You never said you were going to show up here and sink all your money into a coffee shop. If you had, I—maybe I would’ve said something earlier. But I’m saying something now because it’s getting too complicated. It’s a mess and it’s going to get worse. You hired a lawyer, Jeremy... This is horrible and I’m sorry, but I’m trying to make things right.” She let go of the door and stepped back. “Please believe me.”
“Nothing about this is right, Krista. Nothing.” He dropped into his car.
She grabbed the door again to keep it open. “Can we talk later? Please?”
He held up a hand, palm out, fingers splayed. He couldn’t talk anymore. He couldn’t listen anymore. And he didn’t trust himself with a reply. He stared at her hand until she let go of the door. Then he shut it and drove away.
Chapter 37
Alyssa took a deep breath, her heart still lodged just south of her throat, and pushed open the back door of her home.
“Alyssa?” Janet called from the living room. “Come on in. Grandma’s here... How was today?”
Alyssa stalled and looked around the kitchen for an excuse to linger. She couldn’t face them.
“I’ll be right in. I’m just getting some water.” She rifled through her bag. No Tums. She’d thrown them out after Dr. Laghari had told her to stop taking them.
Two glasses later, she was waterlogged and out of time.
“What’s wrong?” Her grandmother straightened on the living room love seat as she rounded the corner.
“Why would you ask that? Nothing.”
“You look super pale,” her mom chimed in. “Are you feeling okay? Has all this been too much?”
“I’m fine. It was a long day.” Alyssa shrugged away their concern and stepped up the stairs.
