Page 58 of Of Literature and Lattes
Her mom turned on the water to rinse the pot. “My dad was second generation here and was the hardest-working man I ever knew. Grandma thought I was snubbing my nose at him by wanting to study then practice painting. It wasn’t real work, it was even countercultural in her mind. He didn’t think that—at least I never felt that. I’m sad you and Chase can’t remember him. He was up every morning by four and worked until eight each night... Anyway, according to Grandma, first I was snubbing him, then after your dad and I married, I think she thought I was snubbing her and the choices she’d made. She definitely thought such silliness, as she called it, would keep me from being a good wife and mom.” Janet turned to face her daughter. “And it did.”
Alyssa quirked her head. That didn’t make sense.
Janet leaned against the sink ledge and dried her hands on a towel. “She thought painting would keep me from being my best, and in the end, she was right. Only it wasnotpainting that kept me from it.”
She laid the towel on the counter and walked the two steps to the other side of the island. She pressed her hips against it, bringing her body closer to Alyssa. “There are things I need to say and things you need to hear, so bear with me...
“I’m sorry for the time when I took apart your picture for Mrs. Tuttle’s art class. I’m sorry for when I barged in on your cookie making party and criticized the decorations. I’m sorry I redid your hair prom night when it already looked extraordinary. I’m sorry for all the times I told you to change, to stand up straight, to brush your hair, to study harder, to basically be more, do more... I don’t know... to be everything I felt I wasn’t. And I’m sorry about last week when I told you not to talk about XGC.”
“How do you remember all that? Not last week, but the other stuff.”
Janet let out a snuffly cough. “You’d be surprised how much I remember.”
Alyssa swiped at her eyes. “There you go. What am I supposed to say now?”
“Nothing, but I think that’s what drawing and painting did for me. It let me be me; and when I wasn’t me I managed your business, everyone’s business, in ways I never should have.” She leaned even closer and spread her palms on the marble island. “And I’m sorry you’re sick. Despite what you might think, I would do anything for you, take this on myself if I could. But since that’s not possible, I will certainly apologize for any part I played in it.”
“You didn’t cause this. It’s kind of whatautoimmunemeans. My body is ticked off with me, not you.”
Janet smiled. “Yes, but I read today that stress is a huge contributor to all autoimmune diseases, and I can’t think of anyone who’s caused you more stress than Tag Connelly and me.”
“Good point.” Alyssa softened her words with a smile. “I’m beginning to think he’s a sociopath.”
“Thank you for excluding me from that.” Janet winked.
Alyssa wiggled a finger toward the back door, the one through which her grandmother had left a half hour before. “After that dinner, I’m surprised you don’t have a few autoimmunes yourself. Has Grandma always been such a case?”
“Yes, but it’s never directed at you. She is uniquely my case.” Janet laughed. Then she frowned. “And I’m uniquely yours.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mothers and daughters. It’s a unique and complex relationship. You may never be able to see me in a new way. And I’m sorry for that.”
Before Alyssa could reply, Janet swiped her hand through the air as if to erase her words. “I need to tell you something... Your dad wanted to be here to tell you, but Margery Williams took a turn for the worse and he’s helping George and his kids with some financial stuff tonight. Anyway, I think you should know sooner rather than later.” She stared at her daughter. “Your dad asked me to marry him. Again.”
Chapter 26
Jeremy sank into the couch and let the devastation of the day wash over him. Becca was finally asleep after wondering whyThe Giving Treehad almost brought her dad to tears.
“The tree gave him everything, and he just took and took and took.”
“They were together at the end, Daddy.” She had taken his hand within her own and held it carefully, as if he were about to break.
That tipped him further over the edge.
He had swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “But it was only a stump, because he was so selfish. And even at the end, he didn’t see what he’d done. He never saw it.” He withdrew his hand from hers and pressed his fingertips into his eyes.
Becca’s light tap had brought him back to the present. “Can we go to the park again tomorrow?”
“Of course we can. You need to sleep now.” He had carried her to her room, despite her giggly protests that she was too big and too old to be carried, kissed her good night, flipped off her light, then flopped onto the couch where he now thought he’d stay—forever.
The day played over and over in memory, and its start didn’t get any better with each replay. But after about a half hour of this fruitless exercise, Jeremy felt his mind drift beyond the moment Ryan walked out the coffee shop’s alley door to the moment, not ten minutes later, that Krista and Becca banged on it.
Thinking it was Ryan, Jeremy had swung it open. “Thank you,” he blurted before noticing his ex-wife.
“You’re welcome?”
“Sorry. What—” He had stopped, unsure of what words should come next.
