Page 43 of The Austen Escape
A snort escaped. I sat up and swiped at my eyes again—now he would know how messy all this crying really was. But if something was going to hurt even more, it was hearing that question. It was quintessentially Nathan.
In the months I’d known him, I’d heard him ask it countless times, and he meant it too. Nathan was hardwired to help. He explained things again and again until someone at workunderstood; he once held a thirty-pound compressor for an hour while Benson worked to reconfigure a sensor he’d designed; he’d brought boxes of Starbucks coffee to our staff meetings since day one; he even helped Peter deliver mail after we’d played musical cubicles for the third time in as many months.
“I have no idea... I don’t know what to do.”
“What if I came to help you?”
I felt the blood drain from my face and was surprised that I could actually feel it. It wasn’t merely an expression. My skin felt cool. It felt blue.
“Mary?”
“You and Isabel are that close? You’d fly here for her? I didn’t realize.” My voice broke. My heart broke. I tried to cover it with a cough. “I mean I can ask her, but she won’t—”
“I didn’t ask Isabel. I asked you.” He took a breath and rushed on as if afraid I’d interrupt. “I’m asking ifyouwant me there, for you, not for Isabel. I mean for Isabel too, but mostly for you.”
I stayed silent.
“I’m finished here at WATT and I don’t start a new engagement for a couple weeks. I was planning to take the time off and you wouldn’t believe how many airline miles I’ve accrued. It wouldn’t cost me much.”
I smiled. I’d only heard him nervous once. It was one of the few Friday nights he had come out with us. Moira had grilled him all night. He never joined us again.
“Isabel’s dad paid for everything, and it’s expensive. I don’t know about a room here, or even one in Bath.”
“I can handle it.”
I couldn’t reply. The idea of facing him... Facing them together... He couldn’t be coming for me... It had to be Isabel...
A clicking sound brought me back to the conversation.
“I found a flight for this evening that lands at Heathrow tomorrow morning. E-mail me anything I need to know and where to find you once I land.”
“Stop.” I sucked a huge breath. I wondered how long I’d been holding it without realizing it. There didn’t seem to be enough air in the room now to fill my lungs.
There are some guys who you just know if you fell for them you’d go too deep and never make it back.
Nathan could not come—I wouldn’t survive it.
“You can’t do this. I’ll tell her you called, and as soon as she can, she’ll call you back.”
“It’s done. Send me the e-mail. And, Mary?” Nathan paused. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
A knock on the door finally moved me. I had no idea how long I’d been lying there, stunned and numb.
At my fairly incoherent reply, Gertrude poked her head in. “I wanted to see if everything was okay.”
I struggled to sit up. My whole body felt beaten and heavy. “Everything is not okay.”
She sank beside me. She looped her arm around my shoulders and that’s all it took. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had held me like that; I couldn’t remember ever needing it. And I couldn’t help myself. I leaned into her and cried—sloppy, messy, once-upon-a-broken-heart cried. I felt her brush the hair from my forehead and tuck it behind my ear. She didn’t say a word.
After a few minutes I straightened my back and pressed the back of my hand under my nose. “I’m sorry. I hardly even know you.”
“Sometimes it takes a lifetime to know someone. Other times, only a few minutes.” She gave me a last squeeze, then sat straight. I felt the loss of her support as she shifted on the edge of the bed to face me. She pulled a tissue from her pocket and handed it to me. “How is Isabel?”
I blew my nose. “This has happened before. The doctor will call me later, but as of now I’m to keep her safe and relaxed here. Do you mind? She’s clearly in her element here, and I doubt the others will notice. They think she’s playing at Emma. And she’s really good at that.”
The tears started again.
“You must stay. I just saw her downstairs with Sonia. She does seem content.” Gertrude tilted her head. “Which fits. For the most part, Emma was content.”
